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Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by Paul Warburton, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. You guys will get the idea....join in. :atoz:

    First line to "Wives and Lovers".. "Hey little girl comb your hair, fix your make-up." Mine:...."Hey little girl take yer clothes off, have a root beer."
    "They Try to Tell Us We're Too Young". Mine...."They Try to Sell Us Egg Foo Yung".
    "That's Entertainment"........"That's Interstrainment".
    "Time on My Hands"......"Slime On My Glans". :atoz:
    "Just Friends"........"Just Fiends".
    "Young and Ghoulish".
    "Have You Missed Your Jones?".......Thanks Red.
    And many more............Ed?
  2. thewhale


    Feb 28, 2008
    north carolina
    Along the same lines I'd like to see what kind of lyrics people have for themes of symphonies.
    Dvorak 9 mvt 4 for example main theme, "I want to masterbate, please leave me alone!"
  3. Nice.
  4. bejoyous


    Oct 23, 2005
    London, Ontario
    'scuse me while I kiss this guy!

    Paul: the original is, "'scuse me while I kiss the sky."
  5. Sorry man...that one sailed right over my head. :meh:
  6. msw


    Aug 21, 2003
    Two by the late and great Dave Carpenter:

    Tangerine......Jazz Marine
    I hear a Rhapsody.............I Hear a Rap CD.
  7. Freddels

    Freddels Musical Anarchist

    Apr 7, 2005
    Sutton, MA
    Shiny Stockings = Crotchless Panties

    Those silk crotchless panties
    That I wear when I'm with you
    I wear cuz you told me
    That you dig that lovely view

    Do we think of wearing pants?
    When we go to a dance
    Oh no, you just take a glance
    At my crotchless panties

    Then came along a chick
    With crotchless panties too
    When you changed your mind about me
    I guess I never knew

    I guess I'll have to find a new, a new kind
    A guy that likes my crotchless panties too

    Crotchless panties
    Crotchless panties

  9. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    AREN'T YOUR T*TS GIGANTIC (ISN'T IT ROMANTIC) I got a whole set of lyrics for this one, too!

    Don't know why
    Got those bruises on my thigh
    Whips and Leather
    Since my gal and I ain't been together...


    and that perennial wedding/father of the bride dance

  10. The famous bridge to Miss Jones

    All at once I dropped my drawers
    All at once she saw my sores...
  11. BenderR


    Jun 1, 2004
    Tucson, AZ
    Not quite a standard but one of the best ones I ever heard was a band that played McCartney's Yesterday and simply substituted the words "birth control" for the word "yesterday".

    Birth control
    all my troubles seemed so far away
    now it looks as though they're here to stay
    oh I believed in birth control

    I'm not half the man I used to be
    maybe it was my vasectomy
    of birth control came suddenly

    Why she had to go I don't know
    she wouldn't say
    I did something wrong now I long for
    birth control
  12. BenderR


    Jun 1, 2004
    Tucson, AZ
    Is that from Stormy Leather? :)
  13. Sam Sherry

    Sam Sherry Inadvertent Microtonalist Supporting Member

    Sep 26, 2001
    Portland, ME
    Euphonic Audio "Player"
    Tell me whyyyyy
    is there lipstick on my thigh . . .
  14. klem.gote


    Jan 18, 2009
    New England
    Bass Player
    Do you know what it means to piss in your jeans?
    Laura, you're the face on the bathroom floor
    You've got crustaceans on your face
    I water the cover front
    I'm gonna send some metal over to you
    I don't stand a chance with a ghost like you
    What is this thing called, Love?

    Embraceable Ewe
    It had to be Ewe
    There will never be another Ewe
  15. Sam, all these years we've spent together here, this is the FIRST time I've seen you expose your weird side....
    I'd all but lost hope. I was thinkin' you were almost a saint. I must say I'm relieved. :hyper:
  16. Chrix


    Apr 9, 2004
    I Took a **** on a Trane
    And I Thought About You


    I Turned a Trick on a Trane
    And I Thought About You
  17. "Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky...Leonard Feather". :help:
  18. Sam Sherry

    Sam Sherry Inadvertent Microtonalist Supporting Member

    Sep 26, 2001
    Portland, ME
    Euphonic Audio "Player"
    Uncle, you're being characteristically gracious. I bet there's a line of people here who think I'm just sanctimonious.

    Gotta scoot. Be well, Paul
  19. Please DO share.
  20. salcott

    salcott Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2007
    NYC, Inwood.
    "Pull up your skirt and do it
    Sit on a happy face....."

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