• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Slowing down

slobake

slobake

resident ... something
Aug 6, 2011
1,904
25,886
Somewhere to the left of "Whoopie"
smowles01.wordpress.com
#1
'Some of us live busy harried lives. Getting up early and rushing off to work, running to rehearsal, up late playing a gig and up early the next morning. Take care of our homes, spending time with our significant others, family and/or friends. My son needs a baby sitter, (that one is always yes for me), our parents need help, Hobbies, movies, emails, elections, the news, car maintenance, rush, rush, rush. I ought to, I need to, I should .... keeping busy and distracted until the day we die.
Those of you with kids are probably chuckling right now, that is a whole other category of busyness.
So what is the solution?
I need to just slow down sometimes. All that stuff will still be there. It is good for me to disconnect with everything sometimes even if it is just for an hour or so. I can contemplate what I do and why I do it, I can take an honest look at myself. Some of us can just clear our minds and be still, that doesn't have to be connected to any type of religion or spiritual practice, it is just good healthy exercise for the mind.
The more I intentionally set aside time to do this the more I can slow down and pay attention to what I am doing each moment. When I do rush I can every enjoy I can be aware of what I am doing and enjoy the adrenaline. I can also sit and savor my first cup of coffee in the morning.
It also helps me learn when to say no to people. I can take time to ask myself what is important. Someone's urgent need to talk to me about their marriage or my grandson's baseball game. The talk can wait but the ballgame can't. Boundaries are good, they also help me say no to people who want to steal my time and energy. Sometimes saying "No, I can't help you is the correct response."
We are all more than carbon life forms that just have chemical responses to situations. We can think, feel emotions and appreciate life. Or we can begrudgingly rush through life until we are laying on our death bed wondering what it was all about.
 
  • Like
Reactions: NG51
#3
This one is a challenge for me, too. 3 bands, gigs, work, an after school job I took on again this year, classes I'm taking, spending time with my wife, my chores, the gym.... I could actually keep going on here. I should throw a therapist into my list of things to do :).
 
#7
I had to learn how to say "no" to people. I also made a concerted effort to say "maybe" and play things by ear. I'll decide how I feel when the time comes. There's a sense of weight off your shoulders when you embrace not having to be anywhere at any particular time.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-2084-1377172436-2.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: hrodbert696
#9
48thStreetCustom said:
I had to learn how to say "no" to people. I also made a concerted effort to say "maybe" and play things by ear. I'll decide how I feel when the time comes. There's a sense of weight off your shoulders when you embrace not having to be anywhere at any particular time.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-2084-1377172436-2.gif
Click to expand...
DUDE!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 48thStreetCustom and hrodbert696
#10
Ive kept my volume knob on 11 since I was a child. Burning the candle at both ends and in the middle was the only way I knew how to live. Juggling work, family, friends, multiple bands and hobbies and sports, plus general risk taking finally caught up with me and I nearly died of a severe cardiovascular event at age 45.

Now I have no choice but to go slow and take it easy. The Taoist traits of moderation and humility are my new reality. Suppose that's a good thing.
 
#11
Well, now I suppose I actually oughta post something. Slo, totally know what you're talking about. For me, recently, I had to make some choices. I'm teaching at two colleges, and one put me on a class schedule that keeps me there till 8 at night with an hour commute home. I was in two cover bands, one of which gigs very regularly, and often back to back Fri-Sat, and had started working on an originals project where the BL felt it was a great concession to necessity to only practice one night a week. So my evening schedule was potentially going to be Sun - Cover band #1 practice, Monday - cover band #2 practice, Tuesday - teach, Wednesday - originals practice, Thursday - Teach, Friday - gig, Saturday - gig. I would never have seen my family at all unless something got canceled in a given week. The late teaching (for the other college it's M/W 11-5) meant I had mornings free, but kids have school and my wife works, so that's time on my own. So I quit cover band #1 and the originals group, so now I at least get a couple of nights a week with my family and any gigless weekend nights. Still a busy schedule.
 
#12
There's busy, then there's busy. It depends on whether it's a chore or what you want to do. I have a day job, and I like it, but if I found myself independently wealthy tomorrow, I probably wouldn't do it full time. I would probably still do it, though, so that's good. I'm currently playing electric bass in a cover band that gigs about four times a year. Some of the other guys want to play out more, but I'm pretty happy with that number of gigs. They get too wound up about gigs. Then there's a jam band I play drums in. We have a good time once a week or so and don't worry about gigs. We play out off and on, but it's not a big deal for us. Then there's the rockabilly/whatever it is project that keeps going through guitarists. If it gets going properly, ever, the goal is to play out no more than once a month. The R&B/Blues/Country band I was playing upright in before got into a no less than twice a month gigging schedule, and it burned us all out. This is all on top of the usual gardening, house maintenance, bill paying, time with S.O. stuff we all have to do or want to do. It's easier than it was about 20 years ago when I was doing an MBA at night, running crazy construction projects, and trying to be a good father to a small son. The small boy is now an independent adult who lives in a different city, and my wife has a number of interests of her own. It works well - we share time doing things we both enjoy and don't feel like we have to be under each other's feet all the time now.

If I had more time, it would just get used up on TalkBass anyway.
 
  • Like
Reactions: slobake

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back