speaker area

[B-string]

Low end doesn't beam. You should not "feel" the low end of a guitar (unless there is no bass player). His "low end" is at frequencies that human's ears are more sensitive to. If his amp is out of phase with yours then the swallowing of your bass gets exponentially worse. Walk out away from your cab and see what happens, putting your cab in a corner will also help (unless your cab is just junk). Bass frequencies are omnidirectional and subject to room reflections and cancellations due to reflections.
You have some bigger fish to fry here.

 

[B-string]

so a vertical 4x10 will give more dispersion? i've played a 6x10 and that has more speaker surface area than a guitarists 4x12 and i noticed the lows filled up the place soooo what everyone is saying is that thats coincidence and its more likely that 6x10 had longer excursion and more displacement?
trying to understand

Side by side 410's beam in the midrange. Your problem (that you are now describing) is not beaming.

 

[Rick James]

ive done the research

Not in the right places. Download a speaker modeling program, like WinISD Alpha Pro, learn how to use it. The maximum SPL chart will tell you how much you can get out of any speaker that you have the T/S specs for. The problem is that cab manufacturers won't tell you the specs on the speakers they use, but that's OK, build your own.

my guitarist's cab has a lot of low end dispersion you can feel his lows much better than mine

How can that be when your bass goes at least an octave lower than his guitar?

my cab tends to just beam the lows

That's not possible. You won't be able to fix your problem until you figure out what it is.