I joined a band way back in 1988 with a drummer who was incredibly talented but had a dysfunctional personality like the guy in your band. We tried to make it work because it was literally impossible to find another drummer as good as he was but his constant demands for having every single thing his way also made it impossible to play coherent sets of music that he could be happy with. Nothing was good enough for him and he would throw temper tantrums and refuse to play when he wasn't satisfied with every single detail.
I had to quit because it just wasn't possible to work with him as a performing band. Fortunately, I later on recruited him to do some recording in my new band's home studio. It went perfectly well since all we had to do was have him learn our original music and create and perform drum parts and then record them to tape. A few years after that, I tried again to play in a gigging band with the same drummer, hoping that he would have mellowed out a bit. He was the same dysfunctional personality I dealt with in the first band.
During the past decades, I've actually had this drummer do some recording of drum parts for me and I've been 100% satisfied with the results. It's just impossible to work with him in a long term gigging situation. Which is a real shame because I'm not exaggerating when I say that he has an incredibly rare talent for drumming. He actually has a degree in percussion performance from a prestigious music school and he can cover the most accomplished of famous rock drummers (Neil Peart, Danny Carey, John Bonham, Keith Moon, Stewart Copland, etc..) seemingly without effort. Every time I show people video of his playing they're amazed that he isn't famous himself. It's just that his personality won't allow him to work with others.
