I've had sub gigs where I had to learn 40 songs on 24-hours notice. Definitely not a challenge you want to take on without a lot of experience, though!
When I get hired to sub and they don't send me a list, the first thing I do is send back a list of songs I already know and say "Pick 20 songs you guys know off this list, send me yours, and I'll find another 20 I already know or can chart out quickly."
If they don't respect your time then you have to force the issue. I wouldn't bail, just make clear what time you have available and that you don't have unlimited hours to write charts, especially if they don't give you enough notice to do it properly.
If anything, I'd see this as a message to you that they aren't expecting a lot out of you. A band that doesn't send the song list immediately is NOT expecting you to spend 100 hours mastering every song, fill, and know them perfectly before the gig. That's a band that just expects you to follow along and not screw up in any clearly noticeable way. I'd see it as a good sign that you don't have to work your ass off for this gig. If they don't care you shouldn't either.