In the words of Dwight Schrute - "False!" It is not "...incorrect."
Those of us who play a lot of quarter-note based walking basslines find that using a metronome on "2 & 4" can be a valuable tool for emulating the drummer's High Hat on 2 & 4 - NOT to accent 2 & 4, but to practice hearing the HH as (one of many) reference points....including the "count-off" at the beginning of a tune. (Esp. with new students of 4/4 based musics.)
And, finding other metronome settings (other than on "all four beats...."), can be very useful as well - for example: beat "4" only, or beat "2" only, can really check your inner-clock vis-a-vis how well you hear, adapt to, & embrace the aggregate "time" in your immediate surroundings.
"All 4 beats.." is like someone still using training wheels on a bike while claiming - "Sure! I can ride a 2 wheeler!".
IMFO, of course, as always.
Thanks.
We need to keep in mind that measures are not always symmetrical. By that I mean the spacing between beats 1,2,3,4 are not always even. So whether you practice with the metronome set to 2 & 4 or 1,2,3,4 could be dependent on the specific feel you are working on.
One particular problem with working with a metronome, is a metronome does not respond; so it is much easier to create and maintain a stable degree of rhythmic tension. With a real drummer, each player needs to agree on the amount of rhythmic tension or time will fluctuate.
A lot of players argue that music should breath, but this is often an excuse for bad time. I far prefer when time is stable. Of course, there are many times where the tempo should be purposely varied, but that is another matter.
One possible disconnect is the drummer may perceive that your ictus is in a different place than you are placing it. In my experience this varies with the type of tone you use, how your amp is aimed, and what part of your tone the drummer listens too. The distance between your amp and the drummer, and the volume of your amp are also factors. As I said previously people seem to think it's easy, but there are a myriad of factors at work that add errors to our perceptions rhythmic tension.
I can't speak for others, but I generally prefer to listen to the cymbals over the HH. The cymbals usually have more sub divisions; so there is more accuracy IMHO. Also, not every drummer's HH hits are consistent or accurately placed, so my preference can very from player to player, as well as song to song.
IMHO of course.