The Most Ignorant Comments Ever About Bass & Bassists

[TJL]

I would love for any forum members to contribute to this thread by adding the most inane comments they have heard about our beloved choice of musical instrument...the bass.
To get things started, I have two which are from top class musicians who also happen to be family members.
My father was the conductor and arranger for many great artists over his long career, but he used to bust my chops all the time. I'll never forget the day he said to me:
"What the hell do you know about music? Bass players only play one note at a time." This from the guy who used to complain that Ray Brown rushed all the time when playing.
The second and possibly the most idiotic comment is from my brother who is a top record executive, producer, and music publisher. His pearl of wisdom to me was the following:
"Bass is not important to a song, and it should be invisible and not really be heard. It is only there to give an unremarkable foundation for the important instruments to build on."
Have you ever heard anything more contrary to the hits of Motown, R&B, and funk? I can name a thousand hit songs from all genres of music where the bass line basically IS the song, and remains the focal point of the tune throughout. What would the beginning of "My Girl" have been without the bass line? Just the arrogant term "Important Instruments" is enough to tell you how misguided about bass a person can be.
I have many more, but please, let me know about your experiences with stupidity.

 

[Torrente Cro]

I had a guitarist that used to say "I want to feel the bass, but not to hear it".
He is bandless ever since I left because i wanted to hear myself.
He likes to speak about "glory days" of that band, because that was his playing highlight.
I never told him why I left ("it was me, not him ") because I know that he can't really understand something on that level.

 

[JRA]

My father......

my brother.....

i'm gonna say: neither actually believed what they were telling you, OP, but both of them had some motivation to bust your chops --- any idea what that was about? anyway, you know/think/hope(?) differently: go with what you know! good luck!

per the OP: i don't think i've ever experienced any 'put-downs' for playing bass/EB. every band/ensemble i've been a part of, needed a bass = all of them were glad i was there. also: i'm a musician first, and bass just happens to be my instrument. so there's that.

 

[Koshchei]

Nothing so far. I will own up to thinking that "anyone can play bass" in my younger shredder days, and being proven completely dead wrong - bass is easier to pick up, but WAAAAAY harder to master than guitar.

 

[growlypants]

...or when some young girl says, "Where's the other 2 strings?"

 

[Volker Kirstein]

 

[G On Bass]

For me, the general assumption that guitarists can play bass because they play guitar is a huge ignorance indicator. I see teachers offering "guitar and bass" lessons, yet all their pics, vids and whatnot are all with them on guitar.

It's also stupid to me that people associate bass playing with nothing more than slapping.

 

[Last Rebel]

It's only got 4 strings, how hard can it be ?

 

[two fingers]

This pretty much nails it.


I will say that my adorable younger daughter the other day said she can't wait until she knows how to okay bass so she can (and I quote) "Doonguh Doonguh Doonguh like daddy does". I would have thumped anyone else saying that in the forehead. She managed to make it cute (in my unbiased opinion).

 

[Liko]

"I can do your job with my octave pedal!" - Guitarist

I really did hear this. I wasn't playing bass in this group (rhythm guitar/vocals), but I was acting as bandleader, so I told the bassist to take five, grab a soda (he was too young for alcohol, not to mention other than me and the drummer the band was basically a church youth group) and the other guitarist would put up or shut up on the band's easiest song, where I could handle lead with my vocals and the bass part really does just follow the rhythm player's lowest two strings.

We made it halfway into the first verse, when the bass was supposed to come in, and no bass. His octave pedal was set for octave up. Simple mistake, anyone could make it I guess, so he fiddles for a sec and we try again from the top. Same spot, no bass; he forgot to hit it. I need to actually make the point I wanted to make with this exercise before the bassist finishes his soda, so I tell him to turn it on and leave it on, and we start right where the bass comes in and just keep playing. Muddy, undefined, no attack, sounds like it's lagging the beat, no fills, wrong pattern, oops you missed that leading tone on the bass part, etc. By the end of the first chorus the guitarist has gotten the point, and the drummer (a truly professional musician, covering the rent with a combination of teaching percussion at the high school and playing in two gigging bands) was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Bassist (who could hear the entire debacle) came back, picked up his axe, and we continued rehearsal, and not one word was said from that point forward about the ease or redundancy of anyone else's part.

 

[turf3]

[Said by the hostess as I carry my upright bass into the restaurant} Is that your oboe?

I mean, I can get "guitar" or "cello", but OBOE? really? An oboe fits in a little case about the size of a school textbook, and when it's put together it's a long stick about 2 1/2 feet long. How can you watch someone coming in with an upright bass in its bag, and get OBOE from that?

 

[Liko]

It's only got 4 strings, how hard can it be ?

My darling wife has said this. She's learning guitar, and is exhibiting typical "this is hard, I need a shortcut" beginner behavior. Said behavior including looking at what I've been playing recently and thinking that because there's two fewer strings (or even just one), that it's easier to play. I disillusioned her of that pretty quickly by handing it to her and having her play around on it. Buzz, buzz, buzz, not to mention she couldn't fan her fingers to match the frets in first position.

 

[TJL]

i'm gonna say: neither actually believed what they were telling you, OP, but both of them had some motivation to bust your chops --- any idea what that was about? anyway, you know/think/hope(?) differently: go with what you know! good luck!

per the OP: i don't think i've ever experienced any 'put-downs' for playing bass/EB. every band/ensemble i've been a part of, needed a bass = all of them were glad i was there. also: i'm a musician first, and bass just happens to be my instrument. so there's that.

Those quotes are real, and I think you are very perceptive. I know that my father had no patience as a mentor, but we played together for 14 years in the lobby lounge of the Beverly Hilton, and that is where I learned the most from him. Just bass and piano and a Real Book. He would always say "You have to pay your dues", and that never stopped until he passed away and I was 50 years old. I guess making you feel small was his way of saying "I love you". LOL.

 

[TJL]

Those people were just trying to hurt you, it's too bad you can't just stop listening to them.
I know a guy like that, he wasn't satisfied with MY choice of gear & put down my stuff, so I no longer associate with him. The irony is that he's physically the closest member of TB.

You are dead on with that observation. My brother at one point got up in my grill and said to me that music was HIS career, and because I went to college and got degrees in science, I should not be a musician, and to basically "get off his cloud". Thank goodness I never listened to him. My lifelong career in music as a session bassist has been the one thing I cherish most, and it has allowed me to meet and create with some of the finest musicians the planet has to offer. The best friends I have are all a result of music, and those relationships are the ones that really matter.

 

[TJL]

Nothing so far. I will own up to thinking that "anyone can play bass" in my younger shredder days, and being proven completely dead wrong - bass is easier to pick up, but WAAAAAY harder to master than guitar.

Ain't that the truth! Editing notes is something that comes with experience, but can take a lifetime to master.

 

[TJL]

For me, the general assumption that guitarists can play bass because they play guitar is a huge ignorance indicator. I see teachers offering "guitar and bass" lessons, yet all their pics, vids and whatnot are all with them on guitar.

It's also stupid to me that people associate bass playing with nothing more than slapping.

I think I can count on one hand all the guitarists who pick up a bass and actually play bass with a bassists mindset. Prince comes to mind. Not too many others.

 

[TJL]

It's only got 4 strings, how hard can it be ?

I have to admit that I suffered from this delusion the day I decided to try playing the bass. I was actually lead trumpet in my high school jazz band, but when our bassist quit, I decided to fill in on bass. It looked simple enough. I am so glad I did, because the bass was the right instrument for me, and I had the enthusiasm to practice 8 hours per day.

 

[JRA]

I guess making you feel small was his way of saying "I love you". LOL.

some dads have/had difficulty expressing 'tenderness'. i'm sure he thought that 'getting you hip' to music ("paying dues") was a responsibility...and an act of love!

 

[TJL]

"I can do your job with my octave pedal!" - Guitarist

I really did hear this. I wasn't playing bass in this group (rhythm guitar/vocals), but I was acting as bandleader, so I told the bassist to take five, grab a soda (he was too young for alcohol, not to mention other than me and the drummer the band was basically a church youth group) and the other guitarist would put up or shut up on the band's easiest song, where I could handle lead with my vocals and the bass part really does just follow the rhythm player's lowest two strings.

We made it halfway into the first verse, when the bass was supposed to come in, and no bass. His octave pedal was set for octave up. Simple mistake, anyone could make it I guess, so he fiddles for a sec and we try again from the top. Same spot, no bass; he forgot to hit it. I need to actually make the point I wanted to make with this exercise before the bassist finishes his soda, so I tell him to turn it on and leave it on, and we start right where the bass comes in and just keep playing. Muddy, undefined, no attack, sounds like it's lagging the beat, no fills, wrong pattern, oops you missed that leading tone on the bass part, etc. By the end of the first chorus the guitarist has gotten the point, and the drummer (a truly professional musician, covering the rent with a combination of teaching percussion at the high school and playing in two gigging bands) was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Bassist (who could hear the entire debacle) came back, picked up his axe, and we continued rehearsal, and not one word was said from that point forward about the ease or redundancy of anyone else's part.

A true teaching moment....like a baseball bat to the head!

 

[TJL]

My darling wife has said this. She's learning guitar, and is exhibiting typical "this is hard, I need a shortcut" beginner behavior. Said behavior including looking at what I've been playing recently and thinking that because there's two fewer strings (or even just one), that it's easier to play. I disillusioned her of that pretty quickly by handing it to her and having her play around on it. Buzz, buzz, buzz, not to mention she couldn't fan her fingers to match the frets in first position.

The reach will get them every time!