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The Order of the Tort

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by PortlandBass77, Dec 1, 2015.

  1. Yea

    122 vote(s)
  2. Nea

    21 vote(s)
  3. Carrots

    93 vote(s)
  1. Order of the Tort.

    New club for TB! The Order of the Tort! This is the de-facto first secret society of TB and can be thought of as the Illuminati of bass players. As a secret society, there is a limit of membership to 2112, which will be me, and we will go down from there to 2, as nobody is king of the tort. I will assign numbers based on order of replies.

    Our Mission:
    1. Protect the integrity of tort everywhere
    2. Prevent tort from falling out as the dominate bass material
    3. Reverse the disappearance of 'carrots' from Talk Bass
    4. Promote the true path of tort + flats + P = carrots
    5. Play bass
    6. Do the bass version of whatever the Illuminati does

    Current Goals:

    1. Grow membership
    2. Carrots?

    Who's with me!!!!

    ALSO! As a secret society, we will need a theme song. Please comment you're suggestion and whichever gets the most likes wins.


    Order of Tort Coat of Arms.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2015
    scottm, timplog, TolerancEJ and 50 others like this.
  2. nerkoids

    nerkoids Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2014
  3. Congrats, you have #2111

  4. Do I need to change my headshot?
  5. He is already asleep, so I will put in an application for membership for him @StereoPlayer
    He would do the same for me if I was still asleep.
  6. No need to change your avatar, but it is recommended ;) you're #2109

    @StereoPlayer is #2108
    nerkoids and S-Bigbottom like this.
  7. Last edited: Dec 2, 2015
  8. Count me in please.
    Theme song... Ninety-Nine Tort Ballons
  9. brian1e


    Jun 9, 2015
    Freeport, Texas
    My Mother Had Me Tested
    Count me in. Do my tort glasses frames score me any additional endorsements?
    iiipopes likes this.
  10. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    I'm in. I paid $80 for a true vintage tort guard for my P select. By this afternoon, I will have 2 Ps with torts. I'm picking up a Squier CV P in fiesta red with tort. Number, please.
    bassliner50 likes this.
  11. Mktrat

    Mktrat Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2013
    The Mitten
    I'm in!

    Is tortloaf on the crest?

    edit: Proof of Tort-ness

    Last edited: Dec 2, 2015
  12. I looked for a Tort guard for my '74 peavey T-20, have'nt found one yet. Can I still join?:smug:
  13. Atshen


    Mar 13, 2003
    Grim Cold Québec
    Tort looks great with rosewood.

    With maple, it's like BBQ sauce on apple pie. :dead:
    Bluzeman90 and moonbass-de like this.
  14. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010
    Usually I don't go for these TB "Clubs" But how can I refuse being a part of the Order of the Tort?

    I'm in! Number please? Can I have number 777?

    <-- Proof of ownership is my current profile pic.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2015
  15. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010

    (Homer Simpson voice)
    MMmmmmmmmmm... Barbecue apple pie!

  16. ariwax

    ariwax Insonating the acoustic window Supporting Member

    Apr 3, 2005
    Cleveland, OH
    I've got a 1983 SQ Squier P bass in sunburst, naturally with a tort guard, winging my way as I type this. Number please.
    ThePresident777 and TripleDouble like this.
  17. Gibme


    Sep 18, 2015
    Tort time baby
  18. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... another cat wearing a tie.

    Tort deserves better.
    GregC and Trabeen like this.
  19. bobbybass85


    Dec 19, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Give me a number! Tort has been my favorite for years. I only have the Black P currently, but here's my Tort history.

    [001371]. [001400]. IMG_1074.JPG [000426].

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