The Random Thought Megathread

[58kites]

I go to the bathroom because it is a legal requirement. Freedom is an illusion.

I go outside and feel the freedom when I can.

 

[hondo4life]

I go outside and feel the freedom when I can.

My dogs can walk around naked and relieve themselves anywhere they please as long as they are on a leash and I pick up their doodles. Why can't I do that without getting arrested?

 

[Fat Freddy]

My dogs can walk around naked and relieve themselves anywhere they please as long as they are on a leash and I pick up their doodles. Why can't I do that without getting arrested?

Because your dog won't pick up your doodles....

 

[FingerDub]

Why are flies so attracted to poop? Surely there must be something better smelling, looking or more attractive. Still, they love it.

 

[zontar]

We three Kings...

?

 

[ZenG]

Who here found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?

 

[shadowtippy]

Who here found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?

I did. I call her my wife and my best friend.

 

[ZenG]

I did. I call her my wife and my best friend.

Why don't you know the difference between a human being and metal?

 

[shadowtippy]

Why don't you know the difference between a human being and metal?

She is strong, tough, durable, and priceless.

 

[Gorn]

Fig Newtons.

 

[shadowtippy]

Fig Newtons.

Isaac Newton's cousin?

 

[PillO]

Fig Newtons.

with scotch

 

[ZenG]

She is strong, tough, durable, and priceless.

Oh. Russian?

 

[shadowtippy]

Oh. Russian?

No. She's rarely in a hurry.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

I did. I call her my wife and my best friend.

She is strong, tough, durable, and priceless.

No. She's rarely in a hurry.

Dang ol'... yo man.

 

[ZenG]

My wife told me she's the best thing that ever happened to me and if I don't like it then meet her in the parking lot.

 

[Moogi Beans]

Fig Newtons.

I never cared for the plain fig newtons, but Im a big fan of the fruity ones. Like apple/blueberry/strawberry newtons.

 

[FingerDub]

My wife told me she's the best thing that ever happened to me and if I don't like it then meet her in the parking lot.

Your sarcasm is off the charts here, I wonder how she handles it at home.

 

[Gorn]

I never cared for the plain fig newtons, but Im a big fan of the fruity ones. Like apple/blueberry/strawberry newtons.

Too many apple flavored snacks are apple cinnamon. I want just apple, damn it.

 

[Fat Freddy]

Too many apple flavored snacks are apple cinnamon. I want just apple, damn it.

So buy an apple?.....