Tort Über Alles

[TheCouchBassist]

My spitfire tort

 

[Killing Floor]

You realize the ages of these tortoises (torts) so exceeds our machinations bringing possible great wisdom that their kissing is a distraction?

The turtles are offered as a metaphor for tortoise shell pick guards. The carrot symbolizes the coming together of bassists across lands and oceans to join virtually via TalkBass.com to engage in comradery and robust discourse over pick guards.
Their accidental kiss, our shared but forbidden love of pick guards. The salad someone spilled that paints their universe, a morass, a veil that belies the cold flatness beneath it all, tort and flat held together and held apart, two lovers' lips embracing the space between.

 

[GretschWretch]

I have absolutely no tort
None of my basses have a pickguard
I ask for mercy from this tort

You appear to be the perfect candidate for tort reform.

 

[4sight]

 

[Medicine Man]

You appear to be the perfect candidate for tort reform.

I had to like this post just so an unlike button was available.

 

[bholder]

I've survived years in the old trenches of the first Tort Wars, sonny boy, you best don't be hamyammering at me about no Tort Wars. And don't you be eyeballin, me, neither.

 

[fourstringburn]

Sorry Tort fans, but Tort should only be used on the classic sunburst finish. It looks so classy and iconic on sunburst but not so much on other colors.

And why doesn't Fender make Tort guards with the reddish tone? The modern ones are Brown.

 

[Ricky Rioli]

the great and proper Tort

 

[King Louie]

Dies ist das schönste Tort des Universums. Und es ist mein. MEIN! MUUUHAHAHAHAAAAA!

View attachment 4019875

Is that tort or red pearl like this?

dAndrea PB-Pickguard Red Pearl – Musikhaus Thomann

 

[5StringBlues]

Tort is the answer and you know that for sure
Tort is a flower you got to let it grow

 

[sotua]

I want a tort bass. Tort body, tort neck, tort fretboard with tort inlays, matching tort headstock.

And white/black/white pickguard, of course.

 

[Peteyboy]

Baked tortelloni parmesan with marinara would go great with my p bass. That's all the tort I need.

 

[micguy]

You appear to be the perfect candidate for tort reform.

I just happen to like basses made from decent looking wood. The tree spent decades growing rings so it could be a bass, and I'm not about to hide all that work with plastic.

 

[lizardking837]

Okay have the great and proper Tort.
Didn’t pickup strings, pickups, bridge, neck, and body.

I was to leave this beautiful spot, play afternoon then.
Evening.

Yes.

 

[Peteyboy]

Knice knurl on those knobs!

 

[5StringBlues]

Virtual Jon - Yessongs Big Generator
Pickguard is going to be in tort


To meet warmly under leo
Being near music
Pickguard will not be easily white
Joyful planet
Cherished wonderful light
Them was not because of flower
Climbing at tort
About solid energy
Pickguard always is loving colourfully
One asking holding

 

[jamro217]

Sprechen sie tort?

 

[Carl Hillman]

Okay have the great and proper Tort.
Didn’t pickup strings, pickups, bridge, neck, and body.

I was to leave this beautiful spot, play afternoon then.
Evening.

Here at TalkBass, The Tort-ure Never Stops.

 

[Watchootognbout]

 

[chadds]

Tortellini?