Twisted Cliches

[slobake]

I am not a big fan of clichés especially when if I am struggling and someone rattles of an overworked cliché as a quick answer that is supposed to fix my problem. I admit that sometimes a cliché does sneak out of my mouth. Hey, nobody's perfect. (is that a cliché?)
I do like to twist up clichés to at least make them more fun. This morning there is a bag of lemons in the kitchen at work. Someone walked by and said "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I don't know how many times I have heard that one. I thought: "If live gives you lemons, watch out for paper cuts."
There are more clichés and even common expression that I like to twist up. Like:
"How are you treating the world?"
If am standing somewhere and someone tries to squeeze by me in a tight spot sometimes I say, "Are you in my way?"
Can anyone think of other clichés we can twist up?

 

[MJ5150]

I find it awkward when people tweak common expressions like that, and they don't really make sense. Like your lemons and paper cuts example.

-Mike

 

[bholder]

You thought I had you fooled there, didn't I?

 

[Stdjazz4]

"You know what happens when one ASSUMES something don't you??"

"Sure, someone has to think they are clever and bring up that lame cliche!!"

 

[S-Bigbottom]

 

[bholder]

r

I find it awkward when people tweak common expressions like that, and they don't really make sense. Like your lemons and paper cuts example.

-Mike

Sounds like you've never had lemon juice in a paper cut - made perfect sense to me.

 

[bholder]

One thing cats can never seem to figure out - if pulling doesn't work, try pushing.

 

[Fat Freddy]

I find it awkward when people tweak common expressions like that, and they don't really make sense. Like your lemons and paper cuts example.

-Mike

Lemon juice in a paper cut?....Ouch!....Makes perfect sense....

Edit: Blast!....beaten to it

 

[catcauphonic]

One thing cats can never seem to figure out - if pulling doesn't work, try pushing.

i think the poor guy needs his claws trimmed so he can unstuck hisself from that scratching post

 

[Funky Ghost]

He danced like a cat on a hot tamale.

A bird in the hand is worth a pecking.

It is till it isn't.

That dude was talking out of both sides of his rubber chicken.

I was walking on eggos.

She views the world through rose colored kaleidoscopes

He could fall in poo and come out smelling like a dung beetle.

 

[slobake]

I find it awkward when people tweak common expressions like that, and they don't really make sense. Like your lemons and paper cuts example.

-Mike

irony poor blood

 

[buldog5151bass]

You know what they say about guys with big feet?

Big shoes.

 

[slobake]

He danced like a cat on a hot tamale.

A bird in the hand is worth a pecking.

It is till it isn't.

That dude was talking out of both sides of his rubber chicken.

I was walking on eggos.

She views the world through rose colored kaleidoscopes

He could fall in poo and come out smelling like a dung beetle.

Thanks Funky, these made my chuckle. My favorite is "That dude was talking out of both sides of his rubber chicken"

 

[MJ5150]

Sounds like you've never had lemon juice in a paper cut - made perfect sense to me.

I have never had a paper cut, so I can't relate.

-Mike

 

[Joe Nerve]

Not a cliche but fits with the witty stuff...

"Excuse me for talking while you're interrupting me."

 

[two fingers]

I do it all the time.

Don't put all your eggs in one casket.
Don't beat dead whores. (Beat a dead horse....)
Like finding a needle in a stack of needles.
Wild moose chase...
Think inside the box. (Many outside the box ideas are just dumb. Sometimes the answer is right there in the box.)
Sharp as a beach ball.
Fight fire with....uh....water.
....to make a short story long....


Yada yada...

 

[two fingers]

I always tell people I have a brown thumb. I could kill a fake plant.

 

[two fingers]

For all intense porpoises...

 

[two fingers]

Lot's of my version of English comes from my grandfather. He was funny as crap. He really had a way with words.

"Hey, yer a fart smeller.....I mean....smart feller.

 

[Gaolee]

Box? What box?