Twisted Cliches

[spiritbass]

Another lemon twist...

 

[Richland123]

I have never had a paper cut, so I can't relate.

-Mike

Being that I was in the printing business for many years, paper cuts were frequent injuries for me. Paper cuts really hurt when you get printing chemicals and ink in them.

 

[mellowinman]

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Because now you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!

 

[bholder]

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

[bholder]

"I was sad because I had no shoes, then I came upon a man who had no feet."

"So I says to him, I says, "Got any shoes you're not using?""

 

[bholder]

Another lemon twist...

Courtesy of Portal 2's Cave Johnson:

 

[Richland123]

I am not a big fan of clichés especially when if I am struggling and someone rattles of an overworked cliché as a quick answer that is supposed to fix my problem. I admit that sometimes a cliché does sneak out of my mouth. Hey, nobody's perfect. (is that a cliché?)
I do like to twist up clichés to at least make them more fun. This morning there is a bag of lemons in the kitchen at work. Someone walked by and said "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I don't know how many times I have heard that one. I thought: "If live gives you lemons, watch out for paper cuts."
There are more clichés and even common expression that I like to twist up. Like:
"How are you treating the world?"
If am standing somewhere and someone tries to squeeze by me in a tight spot sometimes I say, "Are you in my way?"
Can anyone think of other clichés we can twist up?

 

[RED J]

Via con huevos, mi amigos.

Hasta la pasta.

 

[Pilgrim]

-My favorite Green Bay parting wish: "Vaya con queso."

 

[Alkali Ike]

“Looks like the cows have come home to roost.”

- Lt. Frank Drebin

 

[spiritbass]

No matter where you go, there you are.

I remember Mike Brady saying this a few times...

 

[slobake]

"There comes a time in the affairs of all men when one must take the bull by the tail and face the situation."

W.C. Fields

 

[slobake]

if at first you don't succeed get a bigger hammer.

 

[PillO]

Every silver lining has a dark cloud.

Nothing is too good for the troops, so that is what they will get.

It is the least I can do and I always do the least I can do.

 

[pie_man_25]

when life gives you lemons, hopefully it's before you get scurvy.

 

[Mike N]

No matter where you go, there you are.

Someone here at TB had a signature that was very similar to that...... can't remember who, but I think it was "wherever you go, there you are."

 

[Gaolee]

I twist clichés all the time and it drives my wife mad.

They're french clichés, though, notice the accent.

And you smell of elderberries.

 

[Grumry]

I some how, years ago, went from, "what ever floats your boat" to, "whatever tickles your ****".

It made sense to me.....

 

[pcake]

give him an inch and he thinks he's a ruler...

anything worth putting off is worth not doing altogether

 

[megafiddle]

A rose by any other name would still cost an arm and a leg