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"Vintage" TORT ought to look like ....

I'm no expert on Tort (I just know that I like it), but I recently bought this on Amazon for $10 and change... fit nice and snug, and all holes lined up perfectly. Call me happy. :)
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My problem with Spitfire is not the price, it's the other stuff he talks about on his website. For similar reasons, I won't buy a pickup from a guy who sells paper-in-oil tone capacitors. Scammers and lunatics don't deserve my money.

The religious content is totally off putting, for me.

"I thank God for this vision, wisdom, this journey and, most of all, this job that I love. I believe my Lord Jesus directly guides these inspirations in my life."

Errr, you make pickguards mate.

Also, a lot of Spitfire guards are too vibrant or inconsistent to pass for a vintage piece. I wouldn't pay $300 for a pickguard with a big bare yellow patch in the middle for example. I get the feeling he can barely control the process or output and puts a spin on it to try and make it seem planned.

Those Lavaguards look okay. The closeups of the Tele pickguards they are currently selling look like they've been aggressively treated with a buffing wheel which has smoothed out the bevel a bit too much. Vintage Fender pickguards have a lot of router chatter on the bevel.
 
The religious content is totally off putting, for me.

"I thank God for this vision, wisdom, this journey and, most of all, this job that I love. I believe my Lord Jesus directly guides these inspirations in my life."

Errr, you make pickguards mate.

Also, a lot of Spitfire guards are too vibrant or inconsistent to pass for a vintage piece. I wouldn't pay $300 for a pickguard with a big bare yellow patch in the middle for example. I get the feeling he can barely control the process or output and puts a spin on it to try and make it seem planned.

Those Lavaguards look okay. The closeups of the Tele pickguards they are currently selling look like they've been aggressively treated with a buffing wheel which has smoothed out the bevel a bit too much. Vintage Fender pickguards have a lot of router chatter on the bevel.
I also laughed my hat off when he said Jesus gave him the gift of pickguard making.

I've read reports of disappointed customers who were unhappy with their Spitfires and the guy doesn't accept returns because the process yields unexpected results sometimes.

I don't mind the chatter marks on the bevel. I thought they came from "modern sloppy manufacturing" vs. "pre-CBS better everything forever and ever". I certainly wouldn't look for authenticity there. BUffed smooth is probably better though.

These two alternative manufacturers are still very pricey at 100 pounds and 150 euros. Good to know there are alternatives though.
 
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This EBay seller is doing interesting work:

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At a guess they have read the old documentation on celluloid tortoiseshell manufacturing and are dissolving tinted chips into a substrate to create this slightly granular-looking material. I think they must be laminating it into a generic white pickguard. The heavy abrasive marks seen from some abhors could be telegraphing up from the heavily keyed surface of the donor pickguard. I don't know why the various holes have large cup-like depressions around them.

It isn't Spitfire quality and the price is bananas, but it is good to see somebody doing the work.
 
Sorry, what are we looking at here? Vintage or modern reproduction?

The black layer looks too thick for a vintage piece. The tort itself looks pretty good though!

Here's where we find out it's a $12 AliExpress product!

It's a Spitfire--burgundy/red with subtle/speckled, medium relic. Truly, looks just about like the real deal up close. Some likely would say it looks even better. I do agree that the black layer on this one is just a touch thicker than my original tort. I don't think all were the same, though.

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I'm smitten with this Hosco pickguard.

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It's three ply, with a black back. Slightly unusual but the colours in the tort are a big nicer than modern Chinese tort for some reason. It isn't printed tort, but an amalgamation of one black and one maroon patterned layer over a yellow base layer.
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This material was also used by Allparts and also came in a dark brown tort version. It is Hosco if it has a small, rectangular 'Made in Japan' sticker on the rear.

WD Music brown tort is also pretty decent! I cut this P-MM pickguard from a WD blank.

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it's frustrating because fender themselves had a brief run of tortoise guards in the (i wanna say) mid-2000s that were a terrific bold, swirly brown and yellow

i scored one for my bass, and have been searching ever since for one from the same era for my tele

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the one i have is close, but a little more red than i want for the already red guitar and the pattern is tighter, less swirly

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Spitfire is top notch for tortoise IMO. Everyone else in the US pretty much makes a "cut from a sheet of wallpaper" style pickguard. As other people have stated on here, it's very much 2D vs 3D. I've owned a couple in the past and was mesmerized by the depth. For celluloid Mint guards, Jimi at Fenderparts on eBay and reverb is really good. Haven't seen Spitifres new and improved Mint recipe in person yet. The website doesn't bother me. If someone feels blessed to do what they do, who am I to tell them any different?