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Was this Racism or am I being paranoid?

#61
IotaNet said:
I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh ... really? ... and what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"
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I would have answered "Why are you asking me these questions?" or "Why is that important to you?"

It's none of their business whether you own the house or where you work or how long you've lived there and it's definitely not required to justify your being on a public street or your existence in general.

IMO, what they really wanted to say is: We thought we moved into a neighborhood that was too expensive for black people to afford because we don't want to live anywhere near them so how did you get in?

IME, anytime someone starts questioning people they don't know about their existence, there's always a (not so) hidden motive behind it.

I'd be curious about how many other people in the neighborhood they don't know have been approached by questioning them about their existence?
IMO, this is one step above asking a minority for his "papers" to verify he is who he says he is. Similar to the Jews in Germany during WWII and used as a control tactic by a long history of dictators, tyrants and other sociopaths.

Imagine if the OP stopped them and asked them to justify their existence? You think they would answer his questions? Most likely call the police and sue him for harassment.

What they did falls under "Racial Profiling".

IMO, racist...you bet.
 
#62
definitely prejudice, probably misguided or ignorant.

i touched on this once before in a previous race thread, i believe that macaroni tony and i briefly discussed this. I didnt meet a black person until i was in the 9th grade.. roughly 14 years old. keep in mind that i'm only 26 so more than half my life so far.

you said these people were in there 60's so you could assume they'd lived there for 20 or possibly 30 years and not had any black neighbors, think of it that way and its easy to see how they could be misguided or just ignorant.

then again they could just be racist.. idk...
 
#66
macaroni tony said:
LOL@Relic's post

I know you asked the white folks, but I'll chip in as well. Yes - race-based prejudice it looks like.

Were you sweaty? A sweaty black man has been known to get older white women going. Did you just say "Hello" or did you say "What's a little thang like you doin in a place like this miss lady? Eh heeehee heeah?"
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I literally lol'd at this one!! So glad I wasn't drinking anything! I can just imagine how perfect the laugh would be in person :D
 
#73
My vote would be for a case of prejudice, with a backstory of their formative years being 40 years ago and spending the time since then in their own little bubble. Ignorance, not malice.

I'd also add that it sounds to me like they were trying to be friendly, but their brains kept short-circuiting and getting in the way.

IotaNet said:
I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?
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Well, speaking from personal experience, white people with long hair who don't give a **** about visible markers of social status sometimes do. But nothing like I hear from Black friends and acquaintances.
 
#74
You might be surprised how many people when told a straightout fact will respond with "oh really?" as if they really do doubt your truthfullness. It's a pet peave of mine. Listen up for it in everyday conversation and you'll spot it for sure.

I drive cabs and play bass in a couple of bands. Not mutually exclusive either, especially when they ask you directly "what else do you do?". "I play play in a couple of bands" Oh really?" about half the time I swear. I'm sure if I said I worked counter at the autoparts store I would get the same dumbarse response.

So maybe they were just your average dehydrated dumbarses with a touch of negative, ageist, stereotyping on everyone else's part.
 
#75
I live in a similar type neighborhood we have a number of black families along with middle eastern and asian, and there have been some older couples that have this type of elitist attitude. My one neighbor that I associate with regularly is a black man(we barbeque with each others families) and he has said it's rare, but has encountered it from all sides, not just white. Too bad people can't just be neighborly, but it seems most have some kind of attitude these days, usually the bigger the income, the bigger the attitude/ignorance. Hopefully the OP doesn't have to deal with this type of ignorance again.
 
#76
It's happened to me several times, once involving people calling cops on me because they didn't think I belonged in the neighborhood.

I'd call it prejudiced...not the worst kind obviously, but certainly annoying. It wasn't actively racist, but I wouldn't argue with someone who used the term. I'd say that (awkward!) exchange was based on unconscious or internalized views about black versus white people within a community (where black people are lower).To be specific, I'd call it a microagression.

UncleFluffy said:
I'd also add that it sounds to me like they were trying to be friendly, but their brains kept short-circuiting and getting in the way.
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I agree and like this metaphor a lot. That's the same way microagressions can work. Not the worst thing in the world by any stretch, but can leave the recipient scratching his head kind of how it played out with the OP.
 
#77
smperry said:
It's happened to me several times, once involving people calling cops on me because they didn't think I belonged in the neighborhood.

I'd call it prejudiced...not the worst kind obviously, but certainly annoying. It wasn't actively racist, but I wouldn't argue with someone who used the term. I'd say that (awkward!) exchange was based on unconscious or internalized views about black versus white people within a community (where black people are lower).
Click to expand...
.

I agree with the above. The OP also mentioned that the couple looked to be in their mid 60's.

My mom is around that age range (68) and had a similar thing yesterday. I got laid off recently and have been looking for work. I have and interview next week (job sounds great..)

I was telling my mom about it and she asked where the office was and the first thing out of her mouth was "oh, that's a black area".

I was taken back by this and told her so. She then tried to clarify that she meant it was bad area of town.

It is, kind of. It's near a housing project which in low income, high crime, drug issue, etc. and is majority black.

I caught her on this because though I work in the IT field, I have worked in a variety of locations. One being an industrial area. I mentioned that she didn't have a problem with me working there even though some of the surrounding areas were low income, high crime, drug issues, and majority white.

She acknowledged that it was a bad thing to say.

It did dawn on me, that until she was in her 20's this town was completely segregated.

Now, I'm not saying this excuses the behavior, but when the majority of your formative years are spent with things a certain way, old habits can creep back in occasionally.
 
#78
smperry said:
It's happened to me several times, once involving people calling cops on me because they didn't think I belonged in the neighborhood.

I'd call it prejudiced...not the worst kind obviously, but certainly annoying. It wasn't actively racist, but I wouldn't argue with someone who used the term. I'd say that (awkward!) exchange was based on unconscious or internalized views about black versus white people within a community (where black people are lower).To be specific, I'd call it a microagression.



I agree and like this metaphor a lot. That's the same way microagressions can work. Not the worst thing in the world by any stretch, but can leave the recipient scratching his head kind of how it played out with the OP.
Click to expand...

That's fascinating, I had never heard that term before.
I think that a lot of what we call "racism" these days can be summed up as microaggressions. That explains an awful lot to me TBH.

But my one point of contention (unless I missed Derald Wing Sue's point entirely) is that he defines it as only occurring to marginalized groups in society, yet then seems to target the white male only as the aggressor in the video. Is that not a microaggression right there?? My contention would be that it can happen to anyone regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation, it just depends on the situation and who the players are.
 
#79
IotaNet said:
To the group -

There have been quite a few threads lately about racial items and how things can be mis-interpreted. I had an experience a few weeks ago that I'd share and get some input/feedback on.

My wife and I are Black and we live in a pretty decent neighborhood. It's not Donald Trump style but it's a relatively secluded and exclusive area -- the kind of house a Business Executive buys after 25 years of hard work. I recently ran across a couple who lives in my neighborhood -- they're in their mid 60's. We've never met but I know their names from the Neighborhood listserv.

As it turned out, another of our neighbors had left some important papers on his car and they'd blown away as he drove off. The couple stopped their car to pick up the papers and I ran across them as I was walking my dog. FWIW, I was dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh ... really? ... and what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"

As I watched them walk away, I was amused then insulted and then resigned. The most amazing thing was the total SHOCK and DISBELIEF on their faces

I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?
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Being tattooed and most of my life having hair down to my *** AND having been a general contractor for 20 something years, I have experienced this plenty of times. I am half Cherokee and as a child I was very, very brown skinned. I remember some hate being spewed my way at a pretty early age, although it has been a really long time since I caught any crap for anything other than the tattoos and ridiculously loud music spewing from my truck. lol

There is a difference though, you are not long haired and tattooed, you are simply black. So, in my opinion, yes the old people are racist. A lot of old people are racist. Their parents brought them up that way and nothing is going to change it now most likely. Generation by generation these old attitudes ARE slipping away. It probably won't mean much to you, but it will to your children and grandchildren.
 
#80
Floyd Eye said:
Generation by generation these old attitudes ARE slipping away. It probably won't mean much to you, but it will to your children and grandchildren.
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I think this is very true. If I look back I see the jokes and the TV and the language of my parents' and grandparents' generations and cringe. If I look forward I see the kids my wife teaches and they way they can dance fairly lightly through what I grew up experiencing as somewhat of a social minefield.

I have high hopes for the way the whole picture will look with another 2-3 generations progress.
 

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