welp, we're done

[DaveParker39]

We were really good. This is sad.

Lead singer informed us she was leaving. I knew this a little in advance, she told me first as we have known each other 20 years. She was willing to be flexible with established commitments. Drummer and I started to brainstorm options, but BL was pretty bummed by it all and the prospect of finding a new lead singer, which I understand. I guess our other guitarist has been relatively unmotivated to play lately as well, which I kinda knew. We actually did a gig without him.

I suggested we all meet to practice and talk but BL felt burned out on the idea of looking for new band members (band has been around 13 years and seen a number of personnel changes)

So BL essentially said he was done. He's in the process of unbooking our year.

I anticipate, knowing that BL wants to play live, that our drummer wants to play, that I want to play, and that our keyboard player wants to play, at some point when this is all less acute we will find ourselves playing together again. I'm not sure when, or how, but I think we will. I think BL is just bummed.

It sucks though. It's been such a blast, we were so, pardon my arrogance, damned good. One of our most recent gigs, the venue owner said "we aren't doing live bands anymore except you guys". It's paid some bills for me too. I'm gonna keep practicing material that we played in the past and try to stay fresh, I suppose... but it's all sad.

I really wish we could have had a farewell of sorts. Our last show was just a regular friday evening gig, no one would have known anything was different. I wish we got a chance to tell people and take it all in one last time live with our fans.

 

[Ggaa]

Similar situation almost 4 years ago. We were really good, female lead singer, for financial reasons had to quit and move out state. At least we did have the farewell and final gig. Still sucked. One gtr player took it hard and only recently started playing again, the rest of us kept on with different gigs.

 

[Kubicki Fan]

It is a bummer, the way things played out. Sorry to hear that.

 

[Captain Comet]

You lasted 13 years. Kudos to that! Sorry for the loss you are going through right now.

In my mind, most bands have a 3 year shelf life. My last band played 200+ gigs over 10 years, but we were 3 different bands with the same name. We were really good with our first singer, who left at the 3 year mark. There was a revolving door of singers for the next 3, some good, some not so hot, some had an assortment of psychologic baggage. lol. We hooked up with a really good singer for the last four years and added a second guitar player (friggin' great!) since the singer didn't play and sing and we went out with a bang. Easily the best version of the band of all of them. Throughout it was same drummer, me and one guitar player. I and the guitar player sang backup vocals.

My day job started to get very rewarding, but also demanding, and I had to step away. I was travelling a lot. After 10 years, it was time, but I am so glad we pushed through all of that.

I do feel the live music scene is evolving. We didn't want to play bars. We were focused on festival gigs and were successful in booking a lot of these. Three of us in the band were in sales of some sort, and there were a lot of business connections that helped. I live in Florida, and there are a lot of big retirement communities looking for entertainment. Several of them have full on stages. We mainly played classic rock, and there was a "Baby Boomer" group at one (the youngsters) who dragged us to their place because of the steady diet of Frank Sinatra crooners that kept getting booked. They treated us like kings and we were done by 9 PM. LOL.

I would say, take a breather, and put some feelers out there. See if you can regroup into another situation and maybe try to target that somehow that fits your local market. I have always admired the business sense of a local R and B/Funk group. These folks show up with 4/6/8/10 people depending on the size of the stage and the paycheck. They are the Swiss Army Knife of local bands here, super entertaining, too.

 

[DaveParker39]

You lasted 13 years. Kudos to that! Sorry for the loss you are going through right now.

In my mind, most bands have a 3 year shelf life. My last band played 200+ gigs over 10 years, but we were 3 different bands with the same name. We were really good with our first singer, who left at the 3 year mark. There was a revolving door of singers for the next 3, some good, some not so hot, some had an assortment of psychologic baggage. lol. We hooked up with a really good singer for the last four years and added a second guitar player (friggin' great!) since the singer didn't play and sing and we went out with a bang. Easily the best version of the band of all of them. Throughout it was same drummer, me and one guitar player. I and the guitar player sang backup vocals.

My day job started to get very rewarding, but also demanding, and I had to step away. I was travelling a lot. After 10 years, it was time, but I am so glad we pushed through all of that.

I do feel the live music scene is evolving. We didn't want to play bars. We were focused on festival gigs and were successful in booking a lot of these. Three of us in the band were in sales of some sort, and there were a lot of business connections that helped. I live in Florida, and there are a lot of big retirement communities looking for entertainment. Several of them have full on stages. We mainly played classic rock, and there was a "Baby Boomer" group at one (the youngsters) who dragged us to their place because of the steady diet of Frank Sinatra crooners that kept getting booked. They treated us like kings and we were done by 9 PM. LOL.

I would say, take a breather, and put some feelers out there. See if you can regroup into another situation and maybe try to target that somehow that fits your local market. I have always admired the business sense of a local R and B/Funk group. These folks show up with 4/6/8/10 people depending on the size of the stage and the paycheck. They are the Swiss Army Knife of local bands here, super entertaining, too.

Thank you for sharing.

We were in danger of drifting into "multiple bands with the same name territory" as things got fragmented. There was a new years gig without me and without our lead singer with a former lead singer/bassist and they weren't able to do a large chunk of the setlist. And when one of our guitarists wasn't able to make a gig, we lost all the stuff he sang lead on. It's not the end of the world once in a while, but you know, when someone hires a band who can play any number of 80-100 popular songs at the drop of a hat, that fragmentation becomes problematic.

We were perfect for our local market... we played every kind of song, four of us sang lead, we could do a 90's night or an emo night as well as we could do a disco night or a "today's hits" night. I think that was really our biggest strength... if people wanted to hear it, we learned it and put our spin on it in a way that was unique to us but satisfying to people who knew those songs. And that's hard to replicate, 5 or 6 people willing to play anything.

I have a bit of optimism that part of our core can stay intact, I just hope we rally whoever is left.

 

[21DaHoagie12]

Hopefully there will be more opportunities as time moves forward. As with any loss in life, it is normal to need time. But unfortunately you bring up a good point that a lot of us never think about. More often than not, we never know when the last time we’ll do something will be. I used to play hockey goalie and if I knew the last game I played 8 years ago would be the last game I’d ever play, I’d have never left the ice. I remember the game but I don’t even remember the last save I ever made, and it saddens me. I never thought I’d be hit by a car a week later and would be injured such that I’d never play goalie again. (I’m still in pain from the accident at the very moment I’m writing this, it really ****ing sucks.) But man I miss hockey so much, just being out on the ice, the cool air in your lungs, the sound of the skates on the ice, I miss it so damn much. In general I just miss not being in pain every day, I miss the old life had. So my advice to all those who are able would be really learn to cherish the moments in life that bring you happiness and don’t take them for granted, because there’s a good chance you won’t know when the last time you’ll get to enjoy them will be. It sounds oh so cliche but it resonates much more when you have to hang it up before your heart is ready. And my heart still isn’t ready :’(

 

[pepj]

13 years is spinning it out, imv, and hard to stay 'relevant' or not stale.

Personally I'd resist trying to use same guys for next venture. Move on with fresh blood.
If the band had kudos or local status then you can use that to go after the new guys you want. If the band was really ripping it up in the local scene, go and approach the best replacement. But the BL seems to have called it all a day if unbooking everything and I'm generally against keeping a band going if they are not or can not be the band they were before.

 

[Turnaround]

I know what it feels like. My main band was togehter for over 30 years. But a number of health related factors put an end to that enterprise. I never will be in such a good band again - that chemistry is rare.

 

[nixdad]

We were really good. This is sad.

Lead singer informed us she was leaving. I knew this a little in advance, she told me first as we have known each other 20 years. She was willing to be flexible with established commitments. Drummer and I started to brainstorm options, but BL was pretty bummed by it all and the prospect of finding a new lead singer, which I understand. I guess our other guitarist has been relatively unmotivated to play lately as well, which I kinda knew. We actually did a gig without him.

I suggested we all meet to practice and talk but BL felt burned out on the idea of looking for new band members (band has been around 13 years and seen a number of personnel changes)

So BL essentially said he was done. He's in the process of unbooking our year.

I anticipate, knowing that BL wants to play live, that our drummer wants to play, that I want to play, and that our keyboard player wants to play, at some point when this is all less acute we will find ourselves playing together again. I'm not sure when, or how, but I think we will. I think BL is just bummed.

It sucks though. It's been such a blast, we were so, pardon my arrogance, damned good. One of our most recent gigs, the venue owner said "we aren't doing live bands anymore except you guys". It's paid some bills for me too. I'm gonna keep practicing material that we played in the past and try to stay fresh, I suppose... but it's all sad.

I really wish we could have had a farewell of sorts. Our last show was just a regular friday evening gig, no one would have known anything was different. I wish we got a chance to tell people and take it all in one last time live with our fans.

So sorry to hear that.

 

[1958Bassman]

We were really good. This is sad.

Lead singer informed us she was leaving. I knew this a little in advance, she told me first as we have known each other 20 years. She was willing to be flexible with established commitments. Drummer and I started to brainstorm options, but BL was pretty bummed by it all and the prospect of finding a new lead singer, which I understand. I guess our other guitarist has been relatively unmotivated to play lately as well, which I kinda knew. We actually did a gig without him.

I suggested we all meet to practice and talk but BL felt burned out on the idea of looking for new band members (band has been around 13 years and seen a number of personnel changes)

So BL essentially said he was done. He's in the process of unbooking our year.

I anticipate, knowing that BL wants to play live, that our drummer wants to play, that I want to play, and that our keyboard player wants to play, at some point when this is all less acute we will find ourselves playing together again. I'm not sure when, or how, but I think we will. I think BL is just bummed.

It sucks though. It's been such a blast, we were so, pardon my arrogance, damned good. One of our most recent gigs, the venue owner said "we aren't doing live bands anymore except you guys". It's paid some bills for me too. I'm gonna keep practicing material that we played in the past and try to stay fresh, I suppose... but it's all sad.

I really wish we could have had a farewell of sorts. Our last show was just a regular friday evening gig, no one would have known anything was different. I wish we got a chance to tell people and take it all in one last time live with our fans.

If you all want to play but are bummed about the singer leaving, why not postpone a few gigs, take a breather and discuss the options? You may even find a new singer in that off-time. Maybe you could all check out some other bands, to get ideas. I wouldn't be happy if my singer was poached by another band, but if your singer wasn't happy, I would expect to find other singers who aren't happy. You may also find out that your singer was poached by a different band.

 

[kesslari]

I hope you can rally the remainder of the troops and put something else fantastic together.

 

[jerry]

I hope you can rally the remainder of the troops and put something else fantastic together.

I agree, if you already have paid gigs booked it shouldn't be to hard to find a singer, if not and if the drummer is a good one, start something with him.

 

[IanStephenson]

About 7 years ago I went through a similar (slightly less friendly) experience after 12 years in the same band. Enjoy a month or two of down time. When you're ready you'll find something really good really quickly.

Experienced players looking for gigs get picked up quickly. And you've got the phone numbers of all your ex-band mates to fill in any gaps.

 

[Neck Diver]

You had a longer run than The Beatles.

 

[StyleOverShow]

It’s weird having a long time band disappear under your feet. The short run bands, we’ll you never expected much from them, but the successful long running bands were going to keep going forever, until. Folks change and bands do too. Time to be Movin On

 

[DaveParker39]

If you all want to play but are bummed about the singer leaving, why not postpone a few gigs, take a breather and discuss the options? You may even find a new singer in that off-time. Maybe you could all check out some other bands, to get ideas. I wouldn't be happy if my singer was poached by another band, but if your singer wasn't happy, I would expect to find other singers who aren't happy. You may also find out that your singer was poached by a different band.

It's possible, but I have known her for 20 years and my impression is she just doesn't want to gig regularly anymore. She wants to play acoustic coffee shop type stuff (and wants to do that with me) from time to time but is sick of the rockstar thing.

I think your course of action (postponing a few gigs and discussing) is the absolute best option. I just have to get BL on board with that.

 

[DaveParker39]

update:
BL has agreed to an informal jam with the remaining members at our rehearsal space, time TBD but hopefully within the next four weeks.
I'm optimistic.

 

[Major Seven]

You had a longer run than The Beatles.

And to think that the Beatles did all that stuff in what 6 years?

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

Personally I'd resist trying to use same guys for next venture. Move on with fresh blood.

This is one reason why I said no when a former singer approached me to basically "get the band back together". The other being he can't sing and is lazy to boot.

I sort of miss gigging, until I think about the logistics of weekly rehearsals. And gigging. Currently fairly happy with just being in my music room, learning to read music, studying scales and practicing the occasional song when the itch needs scratching.

To the OP, I do hope you'll land in something of comparable quality. It really hurts when your next band is significantly less good. And the one after that. And the one after that... Did I mention I am happy being alone in my room?

 

[pepj]

The next band HAS to be better...the very least 'equal'