Know where you are in the forum--very important!
Good advice for anyone on Talkbass!
Also, know the form, you're not just keeping time, you've got to be playing the song with the rest of us.
Pay attention to dynamics. This doesn't mean "play quietly" it's means play appropriately for the music/band/room. How you play is a product of all of those things and you've got to read or ask the other musicians to make the right choices. Then you have to have the skills to play that way.
Pet peave - Us bassists have trouble amplyfing our instrument. Even a bass that projects well doesn't necessarily carry cleanly and clearly to the ear of the guy playing it on stage. Think about when you're listening to jazz in your car and you get to the bass solo and sometimes you wonder if the song stopped (unless you stereo is better than mine). This quiet-time is called a "bass solo", it's not an opportunity time to show all your tricks off and most likely if you do, you'll either bury the bass solo or drag the soloist to someplace other than what they were hearing before you went through your Brian Blade repretoire. Best way I know of to alianate yourself from your bassist on stage. I've gotten 1/2 way through a set where this was happening and either started waiving off my solos or just abandoning them in the middle and looking at the drummer like "you want this one so bad, take it. I'm not going to fight you for space." But, I either follow that up with a conversation in the break to try to resolve it or avoid working with that drummer again or both. Some guys may feel differently and some nights I may feel differently. Look, listen, make music with people and you'll know.
What I expect from any musicians I work with: be on time, wear what you're supposed to wear, check your email/cell phone so that it's not hard to reach you if I'm trying to staff a gig. It's okay if you're busy, just don't be unresponsive, because I need to know if I should call the next guy on my list. Someone who is administratively difficult for me to coordinate with trickles down my call list in favor of people who I can trade a txt with (or whatever) and know that they're in or out and I can count on them. Be professional on the gig, because I'd like to get asked back with or without you. If it's not your scene, fine, you can say "no" next time, but don't blow it for the rest of us, because we might want or need that job worse that you do.
And, I'd rather you didn't take up 2/3 of the stage with a 9 piece drum set. You don't need that for jazz, even if you want it and we never have that much space.
And, for me, let's make sure we have some overlap in our record collections. I'd like to know that we're drawing from some common referrences. A rock/funk/fusion/whatever drummer who says "but, I can play jazz too" thinks its about chops. You can't play what you don't hear and you can't hear unless you listen. Represent yourself honestly.
I used to have trouble finding drummers, but I've been blessed the last few years. I've got a medium sized list of guys who are great to play with for all the reasons above and more.
It should go without saying that other guys will have other preferences.These are just mine and if you check my profile carefully, you'll see that I am no one of consequence.
Great question! I hope some of the answers you get are helpful. Here's one for you: What's important to you about jazz bassists?
EDIT: Reading your posts, it sounds like you're one of the good guys. But, the fact that you asked that question pretty much told me that you would be.