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What got you giggling on a gig?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by SemiDriven, Jan 1, 2021.

  1. Staredge


    Aug 7, 2010
    Damascus, MD
    My lead singer and I both lost our place at the same time watching a lovely young woman walk across the courtyard (winery gig). We looked at each other and started laughing. Damn near messed up again.
  2. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Hearing Steel Panther lyrics in my head and laughing to the point of screwing up a song.
    Mr_Moo and Pulverizor like this.
  3. Ostie


    Aug 1, 2018
    Mid MI
    I don’t know about giggling, but little kids dancing always makes me smile. They don’t care who’s watching. They got happy little feet.
    Corbusier, DTRN, Sore Thumb and 4 others like this.
  4. SemiDriven

    SemiDriven Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2012
    Milwaukee, WI
    Never heard of Steel Panther. Looked up some of their lyrics. Now I know why I never heard of them. Definitely not the kind of lyrics that are, say, family friendly. :wideyed: :jawdrop:
  5. hbarcat

    hbarcat Supporting Member

    Aug 24, 2006
    Rochelle, Illinois
    We were at our rented practice place, which was an empty diner that had gone out of business, and we happened to be playing a lot louder than usual. I mean ridiculously loud. Full stack Marshall cranked up to 11 with vocals, bass, and drums straining to be heard.

    We stopped for a break so the singer and drummer could smoke some weed. The guitarist and I were quietly going over some song charts.

    There was a knock on the door and the drummer went to answer it. He opened the door and was greeted by two police officers who informed him that there were complaints about the noise and we would need to turn way down.

    They were a pretty cool about it and said we didn't have to stop playing as long as we played at a reasonable volume.

    The drummer was feeling pretty mellow by this time so he decided it would be a good idea to invite the cops in to listen to a song or two.

    They actually agreed and came inside and stood by the cabinet where the drummer kept his stash. Drummer then thought it would be fun to joke around with the cops so he said "Sorry but we don't have any donuts to offer you, Ha ha!"

    Wow, dude. The two cops just looked at each other with expressions like they thought this kid was about as dumb as they come but they didn't say anything.

    Then one of them looked more closely at the pile of clutter on the cabinet and saw the bag of weed still sitting there right next to the bowl the drummer and singer were using to smoke it. In the distraction of answering the door he forgot to put it away.

    I was sure we were all going to get busted for it but the cop just said, "Are you kidding me? Dump that in the drawer and close it up right now so I can't see it or we're going to have a problem."

    The drummer did what he was told and the cops changed their minds and said that they were busy and needed to get back to work and they reminded us to stay quiet and also to stay out of trouble and then they left. As they were walking out the door, I overheard one of them mumble to the other, "What a dumb ***".

    After they drove away, we all started laughing our butts off. We made sure to tell the story as often as possible to others to make fun of our drummer.
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2021
  6. ^ That was a "good cop / good cop" situation.
    Fretless1! likes this.
  7. At some lakeside gig I cannot recall. During a part of the song where the drummer is supposed to play a Iconic fill that signals my next lyric he started into some other song or something. I was going to turn around and give him the stink eye but when i did the complete look of abject shock and horror on his face:eek: so surprised me with its comical expression I could not finish the song from laughing :roflmao::roflmao:
    SemiDriven and Mr_Moo like this.
  8. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    We used to play Death to All But Metal in my old band and it was really hard to keep it together on stage while we played it.
    Heavy Blue and Mr_Moo like this.
  9. Downwiththebass


    Mar 1, 2005
    I remember playing a club where the back of the stage was right against a set of double doors leading outside. It was great for load-ins. We were playing the old moldy 'Since I fell for You', and right at a pause near the end our drummer leaned back against the doors. You guessed it--- they weren't latched and out he went! Landed right in a puddle since it had been raining. Luckily it was the last song and he wasn't hurt.
  10. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Was thinking of the one about blanking all night and partying all day.
    Mike N likes this.
  11. Downwiththebass


    Mar 1, 2005
    Played a jam session at a local club. I was playing rhythm guitar on the first three songs and am just an 'adequate' guitar player. They needed a bass player for the next group and I grabbed the house bass and got onstage. The singer/guitarist had been sitting in the audience for the last set and seen me playing guitar. He didn't know I was a bassist so he looked confused at first and called Jumping Jack Flash in 'B'. He looked at me and I counted up the frets on the E string until I got up to B and looked at him. He turned pale but the drummer was already counting it off. Needless to say I knew the song well and after the first chorus he turned to me and mouthed 'you a**hole'. Couldn't stop laughing-- he ended up taking it rather well
    Oddly, Spectrum, SemiDriven and 2 others like this.
  12. Wanker_Joe


    Sep 26, 2017
    Your comments reminds me of a band we had open for us once, where their guitar had a similar kind of setup: a bin that he used to put his leg on when soloing. Though he had one additional tool: this guy had very long very flowing locks of hair, so he also would set up a fan aimed at his head, and it was attached to a foot pedal. So during his solo he would swing his leg up, trigger the fan and had instructed the lighting operator to put the spotlight onto him. The effect was epic, but also hilarious. The first time he did it I spit my beer out all over the table and nearly choked I was laughing so hard. Literally in tears. Just incredible and I hadn't seen him set up so also completely unexpected.
  13. keyboardguy

    keyboardguy Supporting Member

    May 11, 2005
    At this weeks local jam I went to the back of the pub and sat down on a bar stool on the rear wall. After about a minute or so I feel some cold and wetness on the back of my shirt. Moving around I feel my whole left side completely wet.

    I then notice there's a motion activated hand sanitizer mounted on the wall! It automatically pumped a couple of ounces of sanitizer on my shirt.....

    At least it dried quickly :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
    Bruno1950, Spectrum, Mr_Moo and 7 others like this.
  14. roccobass

    roccobass Still funkin’ in the free world. Supporting Member

    Jun 25, 2014
    Ok! Got a good one I just remembered. All of it true! This occurred in early 1984 on the road in Austin,Tx.

    Our keyboard player who was kind of an ex flower child, shows up at the last night of our 3 night stay wearing these outrageous baggy green pants with a sort of weird pattern on them he bought at a thrift store that day. We give him the appropriate amount of crap about how awful they looked. He was kind of goofy in person anyway so it kind of fit. Well,He still proceeds to wear them onstage.

    Halfway through the first set he splits his pants right in the crotch area when he doing some antic onstage. It was pretty obvious to everyone, and I mean everyone, what happened

    Set break backstage. He didn’t bring any spare pants to the gig, so in a light bulb moment, proceeds to burn about half a roll of duct to his crotch area of said pants seeking to just get through the gig. I swear it looked like a cod piece. God we were laughing. It pretty much exaggerated his manliness in a sort of R.Crumb/F.F. Freak Brother sort of way. It was pretty funny. Even funnier, the crowd dug it.

    Fast forward. End of the night. We’re taking 10 backstage before we break the equipment down since its our last night.
    Keyboardist walks in and pleads with us to start breaking down ASAP. He wasn’t alone when he came in.

    In tow, he had the most gorgeous blue eyed brunette in silver leopard skin leotards with eyes only for him. By the way, he’s still wearing the duct tape cod piece. Yeah we were speechless.

    We all en mass say, just get out of here! We’ll take care of your gear. He did.
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2021
  15. SemiDriven

    SemiDriven Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2012
    Milwaukee, WI
    Yesterday our band hosted an Open Jam at a great little Pub & Grill. The theme was Country Western. Our band has been learning a bunch of classic country western songs just for this show. We were thrilled that a steel guitarist agreed to sit in with us for the start of the Jam. As we rehearsed one song right before we started the Jam, it was obvious that something wasn’t quite right with the Steel Guitarist. And then it hit us. We plumb forgot to tell him that we tuned down 1/2 step. He knew something was wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. Once we realized what happened, the band quickly went to standard tuning and off we went. Afterwards, we all had a good chuckle about that.

    Later on, our backup singer sang her first solo ever in the band (Song: Jolene). We had rehearsed and rehearsed for her benefit for the last month. Keep in mind that we were now up a 1/2 step in tuning than what she was used to. Our band leader started us out…in the wrong key! It was a full step up from how she sang it (only now it was a step & 1/2). The lead guitarist and I looked at each other and started grinning realizing that the train had left the station. She didn’t bat an eyelash. She did great! Afterwards we had some good laughs about that. Oh yeah, the band leader is married to the backup singer! Too funny.
  16. bigdaddybass12


    Feb 26, 2021
    I was a last second fill in for a few songs of a new band who was trying to start out where I normally play. It was awful. Drummer was all over the place, no rhythm with his kick. The 2 sisters attempting to sing were arguing to see who was going to sing the 2nd verse,,,,while we were turning the song to the 2nd verse,,,,,,All I could do was laugh,,,,
    SemiDriven and Beersurgeon like this.
  17. TexasThunder

    TexasThunder Supporting Member

    Mar 4, 2018
    It almost always involves middle aged, drunk women.
  18. Chains


    Jan 22, 2014
    Occasionally our drummer/singer with deliver a few random lines in what he calls “B-52’s style”. I lose it every time.
    Bruno1950 and SemiDriven like this.
  19. Heavy Blue

    Heavy Blue

    Nov 11, 2017
    Prairie Canada
    I can so hear this in my head.
    Chains and Bruno1950 like this.
  20. thabassmon


    Sep 26, 2013
    New Zealand
    Lots of things have made me laugh on gigs, bad dancers on the floor, bad dancing by the guitar player, when you get the crowd singing along, drop the band out for a moment leaving just the audience and they sound awful, bum notes in solos, ending on different chords, drummer speeding up, repeating verses, forgetting lyrics, had a guitar player that wouldn't stick to his own harmony part, so I'd switch to his, then he'd go there too so I'd switch back to my part and we'd be choping and changing throughout, that could annoy some folks but I thought it was funny and I kept pitching a higher harmony trying to make a game of it, coming in with the wrong song (The drummer started Billie Jean and I had Hella Good in my head so I played it, and I kept playing the No Doubt song, laughing and saying to the drummer "too late sucker, we are playing this one now".

    It's the funny things that make gigs memorable for me.
    Jimmy4string and SemiDriven like this.
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