What happened to basic courtesy?

[chicago_mike]

Well then, it's settled.

From here on, We, the members of Talkbass Off Topic, Bearing sound mind and body, have decided to create "The Courtesy Consortium." Teaching people manners, one dumbass at a time.

It's the best I could come up with on such short notice...

 

[MatticusMania]

Fixed

Good call.

I blame Matticus. There I said.........
Hang on, be right back

;-/

You can blame me if you like, but Im one polite mother lover.

 

[Lonesomedave]

....You can blame me if you like, but Im one polite mother lover.

oh yeah?....remember that one time we were having a discussion here and you disagreed with me.....

that really hurt my feelings....

 

[Ziltoid]

Matticus is so polite he doesn't **** your mom, he makes tender love to her.

 

[BlacksHole]

While people are frequently rude on-line, I find them also more rude and inconsiderate in public as well. Perhaps their rudeness on-line reflects on how rude and inconsiderate they are in the real world as well.

 

[MetalSearGolid]

How come these people have no idea how to do business, or even the most basic conception of good manners? I wonder if they're lazy and inconsiderate in other ways or if the lack of simple etiquette is confined to their dealings online?

I used to have this problem at work over email. I'd be very polite and attentive to our clients' needs, but in my emails I would come across as curt (one customer called it 'rude') My boss talked with me about it, but I didn't even know I was coming across in that way. I've since fixed my emails lol.

I also know I am a bit friendlier in general over email if I've spoken in person or over the phone to clients. Perhaps it might be good practice to either start off with a phone conversation, or after the initial contact over email, go over more details over the phone or in person. This will put a face/voice to your name and this might help with their behavior towards you.

And if that doesn't work then they are probably just rude pricks.

 

[MatticusMania]

oh yeah?....remember that one time we were having a discussion here and you disagreed with me.....

that really hurt my feelings....

I apologize, tenderly, for any pain Ive caused. Would you like to share my enchiladas?

Matticus is so polite he doesn't **** your mom, he makes tender love to her.

One time she cried just because I had to get up and use the bathroom.

 

[bassinplace]

On a number of occasions when conducting business online, people have just been plain ignorant. One guy who works for a major local venue trying to book our band emailed back and forth for days. His last message several weeks ago promised to get back to me "after a meeting with my boss tomorrow to confirm". Since then, nothing. That's inexcusable, imo. What a dick.

I had a similar situation with a woman who worked for a publishing company who had asked me to write some material. Emails back and forth, taking quite a bit of time and effort on my part. As soon as it was obvious that this wasn't going to work out - nothing. Not even "Oh well, thanks for your time anyway." This doesn't do a lot for my impression of her or her company.

How come these people have no idea how to do business, or even the most basic conception of good manners? I wonder if they're lazy and inconsiderate in other ways or if the lack of simple etiquette is confined to their dealings online?

Flakes are everywhere and they're easy to spot. Dispose of them properly.

 

[hrodbert696]

I once had a university job interview - campus visit, taught a sample class, met the dean, the whole nine yards - and they never even contacted me to tell me I didn't get the job. Just silence.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

I once had a university job interview - campus visit, taught a sample class, met the dean, the whole nine yards - and they never even contacted me to tell me I didn't get the job. Just silence.

As someone else mentioned, this isn't a parenting issue. Internet communication is still a relatively new thing when you compare it to verbal and literary communication that has been around for hundreds/thousands of years. My business school makes it a point to teach professionalism via any sort of web-based, communication tool. I think courtesy via the internet is still in its infancy and has yet to be completely established. Hopefully this changes over the coming decades.

 

[hypapanuse]

I once had a university job interview - campus visit, taught a sample class, met the dean, the whole nine yards - and they never even contacted me to tell me I didn't get the job. Just silence.

Heartless bastards!

;-/ Smug

 

[RED J]

As someone else mentioned, this isn't a parenting issue. Internet communication is still a relatively new thing when you compare it to verbal and literary communication that has been around for hundreds/thousands of years. My business school makes it a point to teach professionalism via any sort of web-based, communication tool. I think courtesy via the internet is still in its infancy and has yet to be completely established. Hopefully this changes over the coming decades.

Two different issues no ? Internet communication is still in it's infancy, but courtesy is courtesy and has been established forever.. A courteous person will just be courteous, whatever the medium. Just an observation. I might add I see this pretty consistently in people I know personally, which is a big part of why I say it.

 

[Ziltoid]

I once had a university job interview - campus visit, taught a sample class, met the dean, the whole nine yards - and they never even contacted me to tell me I didn't get the job. Just silence.

The letter's in the mail.

 

[hypapanuse]

One time she cried just because I had to get up and use the bathroom.

She wasn't crying. She was laughing because she had stretched her **** over your head and ****** some sense into you.

;-/ yea, that's what she said!

 

[mcblahflooper94]

Nothing I see is new here. People lie and disrespect others frequently, especially when money or services are involved. I think it's a lack of desire and effort. Sadly, nothing can change big headed people who don't deserve their jobs. They will stay where they are forever.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

Two different issues no ? Internet communication is still in it's infancy, but courtesy is courtesy and has been established forever.. A courteous person will just be courteous, whatever the medium. Just an observation. I might add I see this pretty consistently in people I know personally, which is a big part of why I say it.

I disagree. There are different expectation when communicating through different mediums. What might be considered courteous or acceptable in one might not be the same in another. YMMV.

 

[RED J]

I disagree. There are different expectation when communicating through different mediums. What might be considered courteous or acceptable in one might not be the same in another. YMMV.

Can you give me some examples ?

 

[ChunkyMunky]

What was so wrong about ending an email with "Regards, XYZ" at all? I'm fairly young myself but what is so different about hand writing a letter to the virtual equivalent?

 

[kai_ski]

I saw an example of this recently. I auditioned with a band and thought I nailed it. I received compliments from everyone and the BL asked if I wanted to jam again the next day. He said he would call me the next day.

This is pretty common.

Well, I never did get any calls from anyone. Three weeks later I sent the BL three text messages, one every other day, and called him twice. He never replied to my messages and did not answer my calls.

There's your answer.

It takes thick skin to be a musician and respond to ads. People will not like you or want you to play with them for any number of reasons. Most often for me I think it's my religion or where I'm from. They'll never say it to my face but its easier for them to not say anything at all.

In terms of the OP's complaints, it's somewhat common in business for this to happen as well. My company will provide trial data feeds on somewhat regular basis and then never hear from that trial client again. I think it's just a symptom of how fast the world moves. 1 week later you can be in an entirely different context with new goals that don't align with your previous ideas. It could also just be that they overplayed their hand and don't have the authority to make a purchase or commitment and don't want to admit to their mistake.

IMO, if the ball is in their court and they don't respond -- there's your answer. Depending on how you left it you may be able to try again after a few months or weeks. Don't be too pushy or rude in response, some really good opportunities may come of these situations.

 

[Dale D Dilly]

No one ever taught me no manners. It was instinct that made me hold the door open for that nice lady.

You just thought it'd be a good opportunity to check out her butt.