What to say in GC.

X2

 

That stuff goes right by me; back in the day when I worked in music stores, I don't even play guitar, but I bet I could do a half-assed 'Eruption' . . . . . because I heard it nine million times.

Nope, for me, it's the guys in training for the Bass Player Olympics, or at the very least, some bad YouTube videos or a weekend gig demo'ing axes at the NAMM Show:

'Stay Back, Folks, here comes the finale where our Stunt Player will now play ALL of his Jaco, Victor, Stanley, and Bill Sheehan licks, back to back, in 30 Seconds ! ! Please don't make any sudden moves and keep all food out of sight ! ! !'

I was once in Sam Ash here in the It City trying to whisper sweet nothings in the ear of a neckthru StingRay, first time I'd seen or held one in the flesh. Naturally, there was a 'stunt player' down at the other end of the amp line whacking away with all these fiendish slap licks and trick shots. I gave it a minute, and when he settled down I started playing a few things, then the crazy riff from 'Black Dog'. Wonder Boy stopped dead in his tracks and says, 'gee, I didn't know you could actually play that, I thought it was keyboard bass . . . . .'

We talked for a minute, and sure enough was complaining to me that he was having a very hard time finding gigs, he couldn't understand why guys thought his playing was 'too busy ' . . . . . . it made me think of the old gunfighters who had lots of notches on their gun but would damn near starve as they couldn't bring down a deer or even a rabbit for dinner.

The hardest thing: Knowing HOW to call your shot.

 

I can never understand how come when there are two or more guys noodling around they at least don't latch on to the same key, you know, jam.

 

I had a guitar guy do that once. And only once

 

When my son was a toddler, we had some time to kill at a nearby mall, and went into Guitar Center. He was riding on my shoulders. Just as the salesman walked up, my son pointed to the wall of electric guitars, and said: "Daddy, what are those little basses?"

Smart kid.

 

To the loud busy guitarist......
"Most people don't wank in public places....."

 

That won’t work because the guitar player starts to play the intro to Smoke on the Water, then the bass joins in with the root notes, and when it gets to the part where the bass gets to have some fun, the guitar player stops playing.

 

PRICELESS!!

X3

 

Had to go to GC the other day for a couple of cables. Could not get out fast enough.

Aside from the noise there are also 4 different store employees who constantly follow you around, "Doin' alright?" "Find watch you need?" Somehow the next guy never hears you tell the first guy you don't need help. When you do ask for something, the guy says, "Oh yeah, Ill get one from the stockroom" and then he promptly gets distracted by the next customer and forgets all about you. After all that, when you get to the counter and you want to hurry up and pay and get out, they all disappear, leaving you to stand there listening to all the wannabe rock stars going to town on guitars and drum kits and basses while your brain slowly dies, leaving only the part that makes you breath, eat, and keep going to work at your own mindless job each morning, losing all hope for a happy future of any kind or any desire to even listen to music ever again.

 

I hope NO ONE who is a member of, or has ever used Talk Bass, EVER had to deal with Apple Music in Portland, OR back in the day. They were the worst. Anything costing over $500 was hanging from the ceiling, just out of reach (I'm 6'5", my reach is 8'3"). You had to ask a salesdouche for help, & they ALWAYS had to "ask the manager". If you didn't look like you had $$, you wouldn't see them again.

A popular T-shirt in the scene in the 90's was an "Apple Sucks" T-shirt. I saw several of them one year...

 

To the wannabe fretless bass player - "I see you're working on microtonal scales! Always great to try notes outside of the Western twelve."

I played a fretless in GC about a month ago, and it was bad. I knew my intonation was terrible (I'm not a fretless player) and although I could hear it I couldn't consistently finger correctly, but I think the employees were either too nice to say anything or simply stayed silent out of pity.

Three minutes of fun for me! 180 seconds of torture for those poor souls.

 

1. Bad thing is they are not there to buy anything.
2.when I try out a bass to purchase, I can play it for 1 minute and know if I like it or not.

 

Oh so GC doesn't stand for Guitar Chat. Because the title made even more sense that way

 

We feel the same way.

 

Several years ago I was in a band with guitarist who was a truly hot player. When he had an opening for a student he would go to the local GC and show off. He would usually manage to pick up a student or two.

 

The local GC is a couple miles from the house. Must be that rare one with decent employees. The folks that work there are good to me. Unfortunately for me, the bass strings were right next to the EG amps.
I really feel for the employees. From Sweet Child o Mine to Crazy Train to you name it, I've heard it there.

 

Here you go: