What was your worst on-stage screwup?

[blastoff99]

You just HAD to tell that story, didn't you.

I just got my 5'er yesterday. Seriously considering playing it at church next Sunday.
I mean, switching from a short (30") scale 4 string to a long (35") 5 string should be a piece of cake, right? I'll see how it goes practicing with it this week, but last night didn't go to badly.

Go for it. I'm sure everything will be fine!

 

[McG]

My screwups are usually little mistakes and missing notes, and sometimes starting songs in the wrong key. When that happens, I usually look at the other musicians and laugh, and they knoooow it was me, and everyone's cool with it. If I don't laugh it off, I'll be thinking about the mistakes during the entire gig.

When I make a mistake, I often insist on it, and then make it fit in that part of the song, so they think it was on purpose.

I'm the same way with little mistakes. Rarely a true sour note, most often just a note I didn't really intend on playing that is still on key and the audience never notices but it's still a clam to me and the band hears it.

I like the play-it-twice-like-I-meant-to-do-it ruse too

Making mistakes on stage is the only way the audience can tell that it's not a recording, we're actually playing live

I just finished watching one of the Ken Burns Jazz series episodes on swing bands. Artie Shaw said a band that isn't making mistakes is a band that's not pushing creativity to the edge.

 

[McG]

I've read every story. This thread needs additional buttons besides "Like". Things along the lines of "Ouch" or "That's not funny so why am I laughing" or "The exact same thing happened to me" or "I'm gonna have bad dreams now" and for sure "I'm just a beginner, is this stuff what I have to look forward to??".

 

[Hahaha]

I just remembered one that happened recently. I was filling in on guitar for a country band. They wanted me to sing as many songs as I could, but I didn't know nearly enough country so I was picking things that I figured they could get through without much trouble. I called The Wanderer. Oops! I started singing the first verse thinking it didn't feel quite right. Without even realizing it, I defaulted into Boot Scootin' Boogie. They were playing it exactly like Boot Scoot; it didn't resemble the groove or feel of The Wanderer in any way. I tried to get back to The Wanderer, but now I could only hear the melody to Boot Scoot. It was a big mess. I bailed and just started soloing and brought the song to an end. It was a forty second glob of Boot Scootin' Wanderer that pi$$ed off the people that had gotten up to dance. I was a bit annoyed at the band wondering if they could play anything with a feel besides "boom, chukka boom, ckukka boom, chukka boom". Sometimes I can't believe some of the crap I get talked into these days.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

My personal best was playing in the cast of a dinner show. I had a solo number with an acoustic 6-string, and as I was getting up on stage, my foot slipped off the edge and I came down *hard* on my knee in front of God and everyone. That knee still gives me problems 20 years later, but at least I saved the guitar!

I once saw someone playing a Wal fall head first off a luckily low stage. He put his face to the floor deliberately to cushion the blow to avoid damaging the Wal. Amazingly he didn't even drop a note but was bleeding somewhat.

 

[Gaolee]

Where to even begin!

1. First show on a raised stage ever. Lots of people in the audience. I had been playing with the guitarist and singer/guitarist for about a week and didn't really know the songs. The guitarist got lost early and started looking at me to hold it together. I couldn't. I did my best to look really stoned (I wasn't), hoping that it would at explain our incompetence a little.
2. Jumping around on stage and pacing. The cable wraps around my feet like a dog's leash. Same kind of result. Not good.
3. Completely forgot the lyrics I was supposed to sing right before I was supposed to sing them. Even worse, the entire band drops out for just long enough for those words. Mumbling wasn't a good idea, as I discovered.
4. Put a sealed water bottle on top of my amp. The power amp is in the cabinet, and the switch is on the back, on a sloped surface. During the show, the water bottle fell off the top, snagged in cables and levered itself to turn the power off. I spent the rest of the song frantically trying to figure out what had happened. Nothing goes on the amp anymore.
5. Kicked over a water glass and doused a pedal. Bad results on that one.
6. Unplugged myself jumping around.
7. Stepped on the tuner switch for the wireless and turned myself off.
8. Stepped on one of the guitarist's pedals during a song. Bad results.
9. Launched proudly and loudly into a song only a whole step off of where I was supposed to be. G, right? Oh. A. Didn't sound good.
10. Taking lead vocals and launched into the chorus instead of first verse, throwing myself completely off and taking the band down an unfortunate rabbit hole.

I haven't fallen off of a stage yet. Gotta do that someday, I guess. Counting mistakes is a competitive event. High score wins. I may be bad at bass, but I can screw up like an all-star.

 

[Jimmy4string]

I love this guy ^!

 

[two fingers]

There have been several.

I sang "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey in a band. I got about halfway through the second chorus and my throat just dried up. Luckily I walked away from the mic to get a drink and the crowd was singing so loud they didn't care.

First song of a show. Big guitar intro and then the drums and bass kicks in. I make a big deal out of slamming my hand down on the bass to hit the first note and......nothing. Forgot to turn my rig on. And it has a tube pre that needs about 20 seconds to warm up. So I had to turn it on answer stand there for what seemed like forever until it finally clicked and bass notes filled the room.

Guitarist started the song "Your Love" by The Outfield. I drew a blank on the first words. The crowd started singing it for me. I blew it off by saying "Hang on hang on. I'm coming! At least let me start it and you can have it!" But the band knew exactly what happened and was falling out laughing.

At one point I was in 5 bands that all played "Hard to Handle" in 4 different keys. Band X starts the song and I'm standing there yelling "What key??????" I waited until the end of the first line and played it the second time.

After 30 years I could list these types of things all day.

 

[AMp'D.2play]

During the bass solo to All Right Now by Free a few years ago. Yep, you guessed it. The first time through the solo I came up 2 frets short on moving up to the high G on the D string (17th fret) and played an F instead. Compounded it by playing the remainder of the progression a whole step down, too. Followed immediately by our lead guitarist saying out loud, "well, that sounds good!". LOL! I couldn't help but chuckle in the midst of my embarrassment. Thankfully, I nailed it correctly the next 17 times through to the completion of the solo.

But that 1st time when all eyes turned to me.

Only time it ever happened when I played that song, but once was enough.

 

[Helaskold]

Not so much my fault since it was a miscommunication between me and the guy that booked me. I was 20 at the time. Showed up for a backing band jazz gig with a borrowed JB strung with flats and my B-15. Got set up and noticed nobody in the band was looking very happy for some reason. Turns out I was supposed to have been told to bring an upright. But the job sheet I got specifically said electric bass + amp. I didn't know what to do, so I just handed the sheet to the guy who seemed to be in charge. He frowned but said not to worry about it because "It'll probably be ok."

Gig started with us playing a warm-up standard number. Then the headliner came out, walked up to the microphone, spoke a few words to the audience and then headed towards his piano. But before he sat down, he stopped in front of me, smiled briefly, and then pulled the instrument cord out of my amp. The rest of the band was so surprised they stopped playing. In the silence he said softly - but with a voice that I could tell carried: "Thanks for dropping by. Good-night." Then he went and sat down at the piano and started to play.

I almost crawled off the stage in front of about 100 people. Talk about awkward.

Worst part was having to hang around for an hour or so until the band finally took a long break so I could get my amp off the stage and leave.

I did get paid by the booking agent since it wasn't my fault - but that had to be the hardest money I ever earned.

Good Lord. Did you get a chance to explain to the headliner?

 

[40Hz]

Good Lord. Did you get a chance to explain to the headliner?

The BL for the night did. (Or at least he told me he said something.) It didn't make any difference. This particular headliner was a local "cat playin' on his own turf tonite" (that's how they introduced him at one point) - which means he had a small entourage of devoted followers and an attitude out of all proportion to who he actually was in the jazz world. One of those Defenders of Real Jazz if you know what I mean. I had no objection to him not wanting an electric bass that night. But that didn't excuse (to my way of thinking) how he made his objection known.

Whatever. I never saw the guy again. And I got paid for the night. So no hu-hu.

 

[Helaskold]

I did my best to look really stoned (I wasn't), hoping that it would at explain our incompetence a little.

Hahaha! I thought I was the only one who did that. Back when I had really long hair, I'd pretty much go straight into fake stoner mode every time I did something stupid.

 

[Michael B]

Hahaha! I thought I was the only one who did that. Back when I had really long hair, I'd pretty much go straight into fake stoner mode every time I did something stupid.

If I had a nickel for each time someone said "dude are you stoned?"

 

[DJS]

Mid way through, I happened to notice one of the more well-known music critics in the area in the front row, at our largest show, and best venue to date. The next song was Badfish by Sublime, which has a ton of bass. I somehow landed 1/2 step high, and could not figure out what was wrong as I played the line over and over. Glaring at the guitarist didn't work - he pretty much stares at the floor and plays his chirping ska chords no matter what. It sounded horrible. Completely horrible. No review ever came out, thankfully. I must have sweated out a gallon of water in 2 minutes.

 

[Michael B]

Mid way through, I happened to notice one of the more well-known music critics in the area in the front row, at our largest show, and best venue to date. The next song was Badfish by Sublime, which has a ton of bass. I somehow landed 1/2 step high, and could not figure out what was wrong as I played the line over and over. Glaring at the guitarist didn't work - he pretty much stares at the floor and plays his chirping ska chords no matter what. It sounded horrible. Completely horrible. No review ever came out, thankfully. I must have sweated out a gallon of water in 2 minutes.

Not judging but curious: you didn't adjust 1/2 down?

 

[GonzoBfiddy]

Sad to say, my worst was on national late night tv. Bass line opens hitting the 1 hard after a 4 bar G maj guitar intro. I was 'sposed to land on 10th fret of the A string... I nailed the 11th pretty hard. TOTAL CLAM.

You ever randomly remember something and actually shout NOOOO, even though it has been years since the event? Yeah, this is that kind of memory.

 

[GonzoBfiddy]

My band played its first actual gig a couple weeks ago. On the second song, something didn't sound right as soon as I started playing. I played the same line again and it still sounded like crap. Then I realized I was playing the chorus part during the verse! Afterwards, I said "sorry about that" to my bandmates, and it turns out nobody noticed. Makes me wonder how bad a bass player has to screw up to be noticeable. It also occurred to me that playing bass could be an alternative to the witness protection program.

I'm sure everyone has a screwup story or five. What's your favorite?

Thank GOD for this post! I was operating under the premise that I was the only one with a gig blooper reel! My latest error was starting "My Girl" in G. I was having a really great night and was really into the intro until I noticed my bandmates curious expressions. I felt like I was 7 inches tall. The guys are still laughing about that one!

 

[McG]

I seriously want to thank the OP for this thread. I'm sure lots of us who have shared our rough moments here feel the same. Such a good feeling to know I'm not alone in my musical faux pas.

 

[arbiterusa]

Elbo Room, San Francisco, 1997. I chowdered two notes in a row, first coming into a break, second coming out of it. Never made a mistake live before or since (seriously, the time when I make mistakes is when I'm recording, dammit). Every single person in the band turned and stared at me, it could not have been more obvious. You just keep playing. Audiences usually only notice mistakes when they're breaks in musical sections, like what I did, or when you yourself call attention to it. I had a bandmate who was REALLY bad that way. He get this "OMG I SCREWED UP" look on his face when he'd blow a note. We told him and tried to get him to stop doing it, as the only way I noticed that anything had gone wrong was because he'd make that face! But he didn't.

 

[Kamikaze3955]

Playing Sunday morning service at church with one of our keys players. Get through our first set just fine. Offering, message, time for our closing song. I don't remember what the song was but it was one of our more upbeat tunes so I hit my first run with gusto... that was horrible!!!!! Now I'm panicking... thinking what could have gone wrong with my bass just sitting in the stand?!?!?!? Check the tuning... dead on the money. Maybe I was in the wrong position so I try dropping back in... that didn't help. Just stand there looking good for the remainder of the song. Fortunately that particular keys player was pretty left hand heavy anyway so I don't think too many missed me. Afterwards she and I try to figure out what happened when she discovers a little blinking light on her keyboard... it's blinking directly above the TRANSPOSE button!!!!!! Apparently the young gal that played the special for offeratory had mistakenly hit the transpose button instead of the power button when she was done. We had never used it before so no one checked it. Now all the keys players check it every time they sit down!!!