What's the dumbest thing a non-musician has ever said to you?

[The Owl]

A couple of weeks ago I was trapped by close family member's employee who heard I was a musician, and felt the need to explain to me what I needed to do to "make it". Ya see, musicians don't realize that all they have to do it get on a show like American Idol. They get tons of publicity like that, and then can do whatever they want on their own. All I need to do is get on that show...

I explained nicely I've been living music and the business for over 30 years, and he just kept going on and on. It was excruciating and I really really wanted to tell him to just shut the eff up, but I smiled respectfully and told him he was absolutely right. Gonna listen to him and get on that show now. Got some work to do.--------

Alice Cooper - I´ve got to get out of here - YouTube

 

[CauliColin]

Just a side note, before I got my hard case for Christmas, if it was raining, I would have to cover my not-waterproof soft case in bin bags to keep the rain out. Friends, parents and teachers dubbed it 'The Bodybag'. I quite liked that. The name that is.

 

[lpcarter]

soundman, small hometown church, after the service: "Wow, that was pretty cool! I'm not used to hearing the bass, I usually just feel it"

 

[Justbleazy]

Non-musician (the typical/normal) statement: "I thought all guitars were the same!"

A musician's statement: "You're good but if you could play a left handed bass also, you'd be cold!"

I'm a really laid back person but when my brother said that, I wanted to introduce the bottom of my bass to his chin. He said that about a year ago and it still bothers me till this day for some reason.

 

[kcole4001]

A non-playing friend of mine in high school said this:

"round wound strings sound exactly the same as flats"

and

"because music is popular, that means it's good"

I can't pick which is more idiotic.

 

[Actium]

Not really something people say, but anytime I hear a non-musician try to hum or vocalize a guitar/bass riff or melody or whatever and they get it completely and terribly wrong.

Uh, I guess an example: "yea man I love it when the song goes wa wa waa waa waa WA wa wa" but they do it so off that you wonder if their ears are messed up and aren't even hearing it the way you do.

Or when one of them is a good friend and he's hanging out and wants me to play something. So I play it right but then he says "no man it goes like this: *hums something completely off*" Just makes me wonder if people hear things the same. Like, how can you like a song so much but not know how it actually goes?

Same thing for when I see tabs that are wrong. Did the tabber even listen to the song as they were tabbing it? Did they even play along? Did they not even notice that half the notes are not right?

 

[adrianpavone]

Same thing for when I see tabs that are wrong. Did the tabber even listen to the song as they were tabbing it? Did they even play along? Did they not even notice that half the notes are not right?

Right there is my main reason for giving up on tabs a couple of years ago even BEFORE I could play by ear .

 

[jeffgnr90]

I'll be on one side of the house playing through headphones so I don't wake my mom who sleeps on the other side of the house. She wakes up sometimes and comes into the room I'm in and will say "Will you stop slappin that F^%$ing thing you're keeping me awake!"

Slapping isn't my style, and I just can't catch a break

that and when people turn my amp off while I'm in the middle of a Rush or Yes song....rude

 

[Duckwater]

"Whoa you can slap so fast! You're an awesome bassist!"

 

[Hobobob]

*Chick looks at my John Lennon shirt*
"Is that Harry Potter?"
"................No."

 

[Starface333]

Some moron I was dating said: "you play vase?" -__-

 

[socialleper]

I'm going to resurrect this thread because it finally happened to me. I was discussing pedals with one guitarist and mentioned that bass players, especially on TB, have a fascination with fuzz pedals. Another guitarist said "That's because all bass players want to be guitar players."

Nice.

Jerk.

 

[Spaldo]

Someone heard me laying it down once and saíd 'you're good, but why don't you play a 5 string? Beginners only use 4!'

 

[LiquidMidnight]

*Chick looks at my John Lennon shirt*
"Is that Harry Potter?"
"................No."

 

[LiquidMidnight]

I think the single dumbest thing I've ever heard is, "Can you play song x? No? What kind of band doesn't know song x? You're not a real band if you can't play song x, it's like the best song ever. It's easy, can't you just play it once?"


I can't replicate the drunken slur this type of question usually gets asked in, and the song is always different, but I always thought a drunk non-musician telling me what makes a band or which songs were easy was absurd.

I know this makes me sound like a pretentious snob (and I generally loathe pretentious snobbiness), but I generally HATE requests. If I were a front person, I'd never solicit requests unless I were in a wedding band (luckily, my front person in my current band doesn't ask for requests either). The reason I hate requests is because they always inevitably end up devolving into the above conversation with drunken douches.

 

[Groovy_Gravy]

Last night some lady in her late 40s says to me at the end of the gig... Is that bass a 5 string?

me: no its got 4 strings
Her: oh well i thought it was 5 because you sound so good!

Lol..gave me a chuckle.

 

[FretNoMore]

So, we're a blues/rock cover band with the word "Blues" in the band name, the ad in the paper advertised a blues gig as did the poster at the door ... we walk on stage for the first set and a woman runs up to the front of the stage and begs "please, whatever you do, don't play blues songs".

Eh, what do you say to that ... "Sure, hang on for a sec, we'll just run backstage, get our white clothes and change to the disco set lists?"

 

[MatticusMania]

Someone heard me laying it down once and saíd 'you're good, but why don't you play a 5 string? Beginners only use 4!'

Conversely, I once had a conversation with a guy who had been playing for a year tell me that real bass players only use 4 strings, after telling him I play a 5 string.

 

[FretNoMore]

Conversely, I once had a conversation with a guy who had been playing for a year tell me that real bass players only use 4 strings, after telling him I play a 5 string.

Hehe, I get that from my band mates.
More specifically, only a four string P-bass will do. An old one.

 

[gregmon79]

I love it when the singer is trying to tell me how and what to play. When the singer doesn't even play anything!! I mean, nothing. I've had a singer even try to grab my bass out of frustration and make a fool of himself as try to play, which he did horribly, what he was saying. Now I tried all I could to appease but some people you just can't please. Some people have a hard time getting what's in their heads into words. I get that. But when you get mad at me because of it, well, shame on them. I quit that band a week later. That dude was always trying to tell all the musicians in the band what to play. I get that most musicians, even singers, have things in their head they want to try and get out but I was always in the camp of having an open mind and letting each individual musician still shine in their own way in the band. As long as its meshing with everything else and the song is coming together, there's no reason to dictate what should and shouldn't be IMO.