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What's wrong with 2023 audiences?

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If the audience has aged and gained weight like you guys, this is not surprising.
Phones just make it worse.

The places I play people dance and sing. It's mostly drunk British tourists but the locals enjoy it too. And we get a couple of free drinks in top of being paid out usual peanuts.
 
I've been gigging for about 30 years. I cut my teeth as a super young guy in an oldies band playing doo wop and Motown to upstate NY audiences who danced and clapped and smoked their butts off.
While Boston audiences were more reserved in the oughties and tens, still lots of clapping and dancing.
I've been living in North Carolina for over 8 years. Metro Charlotte. Banking, not that different from Boston.
Lately I've noticed that audiences are going stepford. No clapping. No interaction. No dancing. About half the gigs I'm at are at some level "Wallpaper Gigs"...where the band might as well be a potted plant designed for ambiance.

We are all mostly top players in our 40s and 50s. We play a bit of everything in order to please a wide selection of people from all demographics -rock, pop, disco, country, R&B.
We're not ugly. Sure the singer could use to lose 30 lbs but he wears his soda belly well.
Something happened to society between 1993 and 2023. In 1993 everyone would at least golf clap after a song ended. It's polite.

Last night my trio was asked to play a benefit for leukemia. Someones daughter had actually survived and they were doing a fundraiser. We were all but ignored, they didn't offer us any of the communal food...the family of the girl didn't acknowledge us.
A paid wallpaper gig is one thing. I get a Benjamin to be ignored.
A wallpaper benefit gig is actually unacceptable. I've been honing my singing and playing skills for 40 years! We donated our time, skills, and the use of $10,000 in gear to a good cause.
I'm disgusted. I'm sure I'm just an old man yelling at clouds- but I think I'm done playing benefits unless there's concessions made for the band (FOOD FOOD FOOD!).
I worked half a day at my day job and lost $$$ to be a hothouse flower centerpiece?
I can't wait to make a hundy this Saturday getting ignored. It's so much better than volunteering for it...
Try playing in an originals band - at least you're getting paid.
 
As much as I’d like to blame the internet or the iPhone my impulse is to just accept that you’re not providing something that is in high demand. It doesn’t mean you’re not good, it’s just not valued by the audiences you are reaching. Re-evaluate your booking strategy and try to find the people who appreciate what you play. Bitterness on the stand will benefit no one however, find a way to enjoy your gig regardless of the response.
 
Not to defend overuse of mobile phones while out, but I think it's worth bearing a few things in mind.

In terms of people being addicted to them, it's a bit unfair to put so much blame on individuals for this. Big internet companies spend billions on maximising the amount of time spend using their product, using every trick in the book (much like casinos do). From maximinsing dopamine responses, to encouraging feelings of missing out, the average person has very little chance of defending against all that, especially when they've known nothing else growing up.

Two of my friends work in child social services, and one of the biggest issues they've seen in recent years is young children that are extremely poorly socialised, because their parents basically left their parenting to the internet/youtube etc. (talking about serious cases, where parents would literally give the kid an ipad and food, and have few other interactions with them).

So I think it's a bit harsh to paint all excessive phone use as a weakness of character or lack of manners, especially when the odds are so stacked up against individuals (peer/social pressure plus vast teams of psychologist/researchers focused on making apps as addictive as possible).


On a more positive note, I've also seen phones being much more of a way of maintaing human connection, especially with people that aren't physically located nearby. Since the advent of the internet, a lot of people I know have friends throughout the country/world, and just want to keep connected to them the same as they do locally, and phones enable this. The pandemic only deepended this, and keeping in touch remotely became even more normalised.

For example, I've got a Finnish friend that moved here a while back, and misses the crowd he used to go to gigs with back home. When we're out he'll often film the band for them, link them to songs, etc. during the gig, to make it feel like they're all there together still. He's not being antisocial or ignoring us or the band, he's just as engaged, just with people that can't be physically present.
 
Try playing in an originals band - at least you're getting paid.
My trio has at least 3 albums worth of originals. We mix them in sparingly. Funny story...about 5 years ago we were still a 50/50 band with a "cool name" and pushed as hard as we could to promote ourselves as an original act. We got booked at The Milestone in dirty west end Charlotte which has the honor of having hosted Nirvana back in the day.
We got to the gig and it was what you expect in the 21st century...five bands and their girlfriends. Zero attendees from outside the band circles.
Of course you had a bartender, a soundman, and a door person.
(A bartender a soundman and a door person walk into the Milestone...)
 
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I dunno, I wouldn't make generalizations about "audiences." My band played a gig two weeks ago. The venue was packed as was the dance floor, especially for the second set. We got cheers and applause after each song. It was awesome!

That said, we do not play gigs where we know we're going to be background music. We just find it's usually not worth the effort.
 
OP summarized:
upload_2023-5-26_14-54-8.png


Figure out what the audience wants to hear. Every club in my neck of the woods hosts DJs on the regular, and the places are always packed. My friend's party band is also booked throughout the year. So yeah, there's demand, but not for middle-aged men playing random classic rock covers in a typical metro area.
 
Changing things up, being better at entertaining, being more like Netflix rather the Blockbuster will cause some to put their phones down, but probably not most.

the cell-phone thing happens not just at local shows with grandpa bands, but with national acts and high stakes sporting events as well. And it’s not just the young people doing it, it’s EVERYONE from every age and walk of life.

It is what it is — the cell phone induced dopamine triggering — and I reluctantly accept that. All I can do is control my own habits and try to teach my children to do the same.

https://cdn-arstechnica-net.cdn.amp.../08/adoration-of-the-iphone-4e5409c-intro.jpg
 
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