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When you hit your 40's and 50's...
- Thread starter Valvehead
- Start date
I'm not all that far into my 40s but I definitely don't have the expendable time I once did. For me the answer has been playing in cover bands. It goes against all of my youthful "I'm creative and don't wanna play other people's music!" angst, but it keeps me playing and its much easier to justify when it's also a pay day, not just a gig for my own personal satisfaction 
songwriter21
I have an obsession for wood. The musical kind.
I dodged the wife and kids thing entirely, along with a stressful job (more money isn't more important to me). Besides some great equipment and vacations, the best money I've ever spent was on a vasectomy.
I'm 72 and play/'shed for at least an hour every day. Some days longer, depending on what new thing I'm learning. I can't wait to get back to the stage when this pandemic is behind us.
I pretty much "retired" from music from 1970 - 1990, and from gigging until about 1999, to build a business and raise a family. Been hitting it hard since '99 and having a (mostly) great time with it.
For me, playing out has always been about priorities. Family first. I have no regrets.
Koog
I pretty much "retired" from music from 1970 - 1990, and from gigging until about 1999, to build a business and raise a family. Been hitting it hard since '99 and having a (mostly) great time with it.
For me, playing out has always been about priorities. Family first. I have no regrets.
Koog
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songwriter21
I have an obsession for wood. The musical kind.
I've been in cover bands for years, but finally found a killer couple of guys to make original music with, at our own pace. They have families, so we make it happen on a laid-back, as-time-allows basis (currently for hours on Saturdays). We're over only relying on one band centered around the ongoing pressure of money, so our own thing is just that...at our own pace.
Not to derail this thread...just thought I'd share what we're creating. This is a raw recording, no vox yet, from our drummer's phone (please don't steal this!)
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Not to derail this thread...just thought I'd share what we're creating. This is a raw recording, no vox yet, from our drummer's phone (please don't steal this!)
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62 and still enjoying my passion. My family understands being a musician and playing bass guitar is a part of who I am and they accept that part of me 
Played 6 string in a cover band turn of century, girlfriends, fiancee, wedding, mortgage, kids meant that six stringed shenanigans took a back seat.
Fast forward to 2017, separated, moved out, divorce. Met some good friends and started jamming. Lost my job but, severance pay meant I could add a bass and amp to the collection. Jams turned into rehearsals, gear was sold, upgraded and, just before lock down we were getting ready to gig.
Still waiting. But plenty of time now to perfect the set and write our own stuff.
Fast forward to 2017, separated, moved out, divorce. Met some good friends and started jamming. Lost my job but, severance pay meant I could add a bass and amp to the collection. Jams turned into rehearsals, gear was sold, upgraded and, just before lock down we were getting ready to gig.
Still waiting. But plenty of time now to perfect the set and write our own stuff.
Even 15 minutes every day is better than an hour and a half once a week, when it comes to playing.
Grab those minutes when, and where, you can, and don't beat yourself up about all the time you're not playing.
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I'm 68. My wife was a singer before we met over 40 years ago so she understands the time it takes. It's never been an issue and she's very encouraging.
After I retired from my day gig as an electronics engineer 12 years ago I was flush with time and started playing much more but 2.5 years ago I had a minor stroke the messed with my right side so during my ongoing recovery my practice schedule has been reduced considerably but I still manage to get some in. Covid has eliminated any shows around here so that's out for the duration.
After I retired from my day gig as an electronics engineer 12 years ago I was flush with time and started playing much more but 2.5 years ago I had a minor stroke the messed with my right side so during my ongoing recovery my practice schedule has been reduced considerably but I still manage to get some in. Covid has eliminated any shows around here so that's out for the duration.
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48 with 4 kids ages 8 to 15 and a fulltime job. Yep, finding a balance is difficult. The main area we struggled pre-pandemic was in taking gigs. It was really a disservice to my family to be gone 6 pm Saturday to 3 am Sunday playing a bar gig for little scratch. Our band limited those types of gigs to just a few per year.
I do think it's extremely positive for kids to see their parents be artistic and creative.
I do think it's extremely positive for kids to see their parents be artistic and creative.
I havent played in a band for a few years... mainly just work on ideas and record from home. To pull of a quality original progressive metal project it takes a lot of commitment (which I did, for many years). First I played in less involved bands for a few years, helping friends with projects. Then I switched into even lighter music avenues... learning/leading drum circles (it was cool and rewarding, I got to share musicvibe with people who had no experience), learning acoustic guitar and trying to sing (I never thought I had a voice in me... good pitch is all ya really need), learning electric and using it to write. The creative/composing part is my favorite, and I love recording because you can keep a nice record of things (then you have to learn all about recording/mixing). So many music skills beyond playing stuff on stage.
The thing I miss the most is cranking my 300w tube and feeling it in my body. Without a real practice space I havent cranked my amp in years, I dont want the neighborhood to know I have awesome gear.
The thing I miss the most is cranking my 300w tube and feeling it in my body. Without a real practice space I havent cranked my amp in years, I dont want the neighborhood to know I have awesome gear.
I'm 62. I started playing music at age 8. If you're a musician, it's not something you have to give up.
At 38 playing bass is currently #4 for me behind family, work, and climbing rocks. But I'll never give it up because I know that order will change in the future.
if you like your music and you like your family and (if you have one) you like your day job, then finding a balance between them is the kind of problem we should all aspire to have! I'm lucky in that I married one of my band mates so that helps a bit, and it's been years since I had a non music day job (that also helps) but honestly a full life is always going to require some juggling, I think the key is to stay grateful and learn to love juggling
If that's what being put out to pasture looks like, I think I can live with it, when the time eventually comes.
in my 40s and 50s, my kids were adults. that's when i really had the time to play and sing again. in my 20s and 30s, music got pushed to the side to deal with being a parent.
I'm 58 years old. Started playing electric guitar and electric bass in 1975 & 1976, respectively. Took the usual years off to raise my son, with a gig here and there that paid well. Got back at it regular gigging since 2012. Damn, COVID-19 has put a cramp on regular gigging where I live! I've lost about a dozen gigs with three different bands this year and I am effectively finished until the end of the year since the reinstitution of the lockdowns. The bright side: my equipment is as well maintained and ready to go as it ever has been. Now, if I can keep the motivation to woodshed those song details....
