Who Wears Short Shorts?

[Grinderman]

 

[Grinderman]

 

[Lenny JG]

Mine are never THAT short. Lol

 

[andare]

Red Hot Chili Peppers only need 4 tube socks (I'm not going to post the photo for fear of getting smashed with the banhammer).

I can only venture to guess that some of the guys that are team No Shorts on Stage Not Ever have a delusion that their, ahem, Junk is simply so large that they risk exposing to the first few rows the sheer magnitude of their Manly Endowments.

Seriously, someone explain it to me. Some gigs are hot af. The audience is going to show up wearing god knows what. Why are shorts on stage so bad?

You know what I do hate to see on stage? People playing barefoot. IDGAF if you bring your own rug. Keep your damned shoes on. If the bartenders at the venue or cooks in the kitchen and folks on the tech crew have to follow mandates on safe footwear, so does the band. Solidarity with workers and stuff.

Why would you call it junk? I never understood that one.

 

[BazzaBass]

Clearly this guy isn't a member of TalkBass. (faces have been covered to protect the innocent)

Yes, he would have known how judgmental TB is.

 

[D.M.N.]

If I wear shorts, they're short ones. But I don't wear shorts on stage.

 

[baileyboy]

17 seconds of pure short-shorts bliss...



You're welcome.

 

[HolmeBass]

I suspect Winslow meant the thread title to refer to the original version of the song, by the Royal Teens. (Al Kooper sometimes played with them, but probably not here.)

That is NOT from the 70s!

 

[Bonafide]

Worked for Agnetha and Anni-Frid

 

[neddyrow]

I can't believe it took me until page 3 to find Bob Weir in his short shorts. Classic joke in our band.

 

[4dog]

Leif Garrett?

View attachment 4715516

Bjorn

 

[Basically Bob]

At least I know the rules

 

[Swampish]

Leif Garrett?

View attachment 4715516

Is that Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe?

 

[fhm555]

I'm a cyclist with decent legs but I'm firmly a "no shorts onstage" guy, never, ever. Whether trendy shorties with a 5" inseam, or saggy-ass dad cargos down to the knees with white "comfort" shoes, just.......no.

The trick to not looking knobby with roomy shorts is to wear some hightop logger caulks.
While they do improve the overall appearance of baggy shorts, you’d be amazed what they will do for form fitting half moon showoff shorts.

 

[zenrad]

Phil, no...Bob, yes

View attachment 4715592

I can't believe that it took 58 posts before Bobby came up lol

 

[Bob E]

Hello fellow bass player.

 

[Bajo Clarkko]

Great googly moogly.

This has been an amusing thread. Lucky for me, I picked up a 55 gallon drum of eye bleach at Costco the other day.

 

[StereoPlayer]

Hello fellow bass player.

View attachment 4715689

The Joe Dart Fan Club…

 

[No Malarky]

I refuse to wear shorts onstage...unless a ceiling to floor Pole is involved.

 

[Pimpernel Smith]

Amy Mann knew how to do it.