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Why did you quit a band?
- Thread starter Cut the middle
- Start date
I quit because the singer/guitarist was a lying psychopath pothead.
I also gave up on another effort because we had drummer issues and could never get tight enough to gig. We could have used a singer, too. We had some good parts but not the whole package.
Also, being a husband, dad, boss and active church member doesn’t leave much time for late Friday and Saturday nights.
Now I just jam with some friends a couple of times a month (when there’s not a pandemic on) and practice/play along to exactly what I want to in my basement.
Much more enjoyable.
I also gave up on another effort because we had drummer issues and could never get tight enough to gig. We could have used a singer, too. We had some good parts but not the whole package.
Also, being a husband, dad, boss and active church member doesn’t leave much time for late Friday and Saturday nights.
Now I just jam with some friends a couple of times a month (when there’s not a pandemic on) and practice/play along to exactly what I want to in my basement.
Much more enjoyable.
I've left bands for good reasons and for petty reasons. Sometimes good moves, sometimes not, but learning experiences.
Among the petty reasons, usually in my early years of playing, were personality conflicts. Sometimes someone else would quit and I just couldn't gee haw with the new one.
Sometimes a band would decide we needed another member. more people that I really didn't bring anything to the table, but took an even cut with no new increases in pay, nor new gigs.
A couple bands I really liked were bad about booking far off for very little compensation, just couldn't afford to play, as much as I liked them.
More petty reasons on my part were I didn't care for all the significant others and their input. I still run into that but just deal with it... I've accepted that'll never change.
Sometimes I just really wasn't enjoying it, didn't really like the music because of a limited song list or just grew tired of something I probably shouldn't have gotten involved in.
There has been quite an evolution in how I view things. Stuff that would've made me quit in my teens or 20s seem small and silly now.
Apart from the current situation we are all in, I'm still in this band, dealing with conflicts that crop up from time to time.
I see now that if I just bide my time, many things resolve themselves, at least to a tolerable level.
I now step back and look at it all objectively... I wish I had seen things differently back when, but what would I have learned? I am who I am because of who I was...
Among the petty reasons, usually in my early years of playing, were personality conflicts. Sometimes someone else would quit and I just couldn't gee haw with the new one.
Sometimes a band would decide we needed another member. more people that I really didn't bring anything to the table, but took an even cut with no new increases in pay, nor new gigs.
A couple bands I really liked were bad about booking far off for very little compensation, just couldn't afford to play, as much as I liked them.
More petty reasons on my part were I didn't care for all the significant others and their input. I still run into that but just deal with it... I've accepted that'll never change.
Sometimes I just really wasn't enjoying it, didn't really like the music because of a limited song list or just grew tired of something I probably shouldn't have gotten involved in.
There has been quite an evolution in how I view things. Stuff that would've made me quit in my teens or 20s seem small and silly now.
Apart from the current situation we are all in, I'm still in this band, dealing with conflicts that crop up from time to time.
I see now that if I just bide my time, many things resolve themselves, at least to a tolerable level.
I now step back and look at it all objectively... I wish I had seen things differently back when, but what would I have learned? I am who I am because of who I was...
Lack of professionalism or ambition has usually been why I left bands.
40 years ago when I joined my first few bands, the reason I would quit was that I needed to find a better band as I improved. None of these bands were playing much, anyway. About 35 years ago I started working with professionals so I pretty much stopped quitting bands 
I was with a particular band for 6 - 7 years. The BL / guitarist was overwhelmed between the band and work so he wanted to take a break, so I kept the band going, sorta. After the drummer and keyboard player started becoming less than dependable, the singer and I decided to give it a rest. We had developed a catalog of around 80 songs we could do at the drop of a hat, or with maybe one “remember how we did it” practice.
The singer had started practicing with another group. They asked me to sit in with them for a kid’s birthday party. Easy stuff. It went well. Then they started booking gigs. I went along with it. Sorta. As we prepared for these gigs, the singer and I recommended going from the catalog of stuff we’d been doing for years. The BL from the original group agreed to work with the guitarist on how he played them. That’s when things started to get weird. A lot of the songs that I really liked and were really interesting / fun to play kept getting dropped off the list and songs that I had never heard before because they were things I would never be interested in listening to were getting added to set lists. Songs like Peg, Under Pressure, I Want You Back, Car Wash, Bright Lights, were being dropped because they were “too hard” (Car Wash is hard??? 
) and songs like Folsom County Prison and Wipeout and others that I can’t be bothered trying to remember were being added. I played one show and then told the new BL that I would be willing to finish playing the shows that were already booked and would be happy to show any new bass player how I played whichever songs they wanted help with, but that I was through. I was very clear on my reasons for being through.
We’re all still friends. Our original BL guitarist for the first group is now their bass player. As I said I would, I walked him through a few of the songs we did well with the original group. He and I are also talking now about setting up another project with him on guitar, our original singer, and the last drummer we had before the original BL took his break. The guitar player / BL from the group I quit may also come along.
The singer had started practicing with another group. They asked me to sit in with them for a kid’s birthday party. Easy stuff. It went well. Then they started booking gigs. I went along with it. Sorta. As we prepared for these gigs, the singer and I recommended going from the catalog of stuff we’d been doing for years. The BL from the original group agreed to work with the guitarist on how he played them. That’s when things started to get weird. A lot of the songs that I really liked and were really interesting / fun to play kept getting dropped off the list and songs that I had never heard before because they were things I would never be interested in listening to were getting added to set lists. Songs like Peg, Under Pressure, I Want You Back, Car Wash, Bright Lights, were being dropped because they were “too hard” (Car Wash is hard???
) and songs like Folsom County Prison and Wipeout and others that I can’t be bothered trying to remember were being added. I played one show and then told the new BL that I would be willing to finish playing the shows that were already booked and would be happy to show any new bass player how I played whichever songs they wanted help with, but that I was through. I was very clear on my reasons for being through.We’re all still friends. Our original BL guitarist for the first group is now their bass player. As I said I would, I walked him through a few of the songs we did well with the original group. He and I are also talking now about setting up another project with him on guitar, our original singer, and the last drummer we had before the original BL took his break. The guitar player / BL from the group I quit may also come along.
My philosophy as a musician is that you should treat every gig the same as you would if you were playing for any A-list, superstar artist; even if you’re just playing in a local cover band, for a crowd of 15 people in a tiny venue. You should still approach it with the same attitude and professionalism as you would if you were playing a sold-out show with Bruno Mars in Madison Square Garden.
Having said that, I was playing in a band that didn’t share that philosophy. Some of the band members would often get so inebriated at gigs, that it would hurt their performance and the image of the band. One member almost got us banned from one venue because of some of his actions. Another member would sometimes be too inebriated to finish a gig, and would have to go sit off stage for the last set of the night. Those type of things are directly opposed to my views on being a professional musician. So I ended up leaving the group.
Having said that, I was playing in a band that didn’t share that philosophy. Some of the band members would often get so inebriated at gigs, that it would hurt their performance and the image of the band. One member almost got us banned from one venue because of some of his actions. Another member would sometimes be too inebriated to finish a gig, and would have to go sit off stage for the last set of the night. Those type of things are directly opposed to my views on being a professional musician. So I ended up leaving the group.
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Lead bass, rhythm bass, bass bass and drums!
Band One, lack of talent
Band 2, lack of direction/progress
Band 3, serious hard drug use by other members
Band 4, Relocation to another state (Rejoined 14 year later, it’s one heck of a commute LOL)
Band 5, Career stress, tinnitus And one too many musical commitments.
Two things that happened literally in the same breath:
1) I became a single parent of my (then) 5 y.o. son
2) my employer went to rotating shifts (days, nights, weekends, repeat)
Am thankful for family who helped with my son, and a job that paid the bills. Son is now old enough to take care of himself (well, sort of) and job is back to a somewhat reasonable schedule.
1) I became a single parent of my (then) 5 y.o. son
2) my employer went to rotating shifts (days, nights, weekends, repeat)
Am thankful for family who helped with my son, and a job that paid the bills. Son is now old enough to take care of himself (well, sort of) and job is back to a somewhat reasonable schedule.
Got a good paying full time (+50h/wk) job, then started having kids (3), so I just didn’t have time to stay rehearsed and spend time with my family.
I left 3 good opportunities when I moved. New city - I've played with a few startups and left due to poor band leadership, bad business sense or all talk and no follow through from other band members.
95% the music wasn't what I wanted to do and the money wasn't good enough to offset that.
5% someone was a ridiculous [insert adjective], the money wasn't good enough to offset it and I decided life was too short.
Old saying: 'If it doesn't make you happy, and it doesn't make you money, don't do it.'
5% someone was a ridiculous [insert adjective], the money wasn't good enough to offset it and I decided life was too short.
Old saying: 'If it doesn't make you happy, and it doesn't make you money, don't do it.'
Drummer didnt ever practice and couldn't keep time while singing. Whenever he opened his mouth, we'd lose 5-10 bpm.
Several times for the same reasons.
Because they were clueless to the bigger picture.
Oh yeah, and they sucked (but I did not tell them that. I just said I was not a good fit for them and wished them the best of luck.)
Every time they went nowhere and crashed and burned. Reality can be very painful.
Because they were clueless to the bigger picture.
Oh yeah, and they sucked (but I did not tell them that. I just said I was not a good fit for them and wished them the best of luck.)
Every time they went nowhere and crashed and burned. Reality can be very painful.
Jim Carr
Dr. Jim
- Jan 21, 2006
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- fEARful Kool-Aid dispensing liberal academic card-carrying union member Musicians Local 72-147
1) Quit because of the racists in the band. That applies to 3 Country bands I've been in. No longer play Country.
2) Quit due to a band leader refusing to use a set list and repeatedly calling songs that were unrehearsed, over the objections of band members and despite prior agreement.
3) Incredibly foul and homophobic language on stage in restaurant from front man at performance in Los Gatos, CA. Quit on the spot.
4) Repeated unwillingness of band leader to move his pickup truck to dramatically ease bi-weekly rehearsal load-in by the rest of the band.
5) Refusal of keyboard player to stop playing bass lines. Quit on the spot.
6) Band leader's wife insisting by shouting and arm waving, that the bass was "way too loud," even when I played 5 songs in a row with my amp off. Quit on the spot.
There are probably more, but I quit.
2) Quit due to a band leader refusing to use a set list and repeatedly calling songs that were unrehearsed, over the objections of band members and despite prior agreement.
3) Incredibly foul and homophobic language on stage in restaurant from front man at performance in Los Gatos, CA. Quit on the spot.
4) Repeated unwillingness of band leader to move his pickup truck to dramatically ease bi-weekly rehearsal load-in by the rest of the band.
5) Refusal of keyboard player to stop playing bass lines. Quit on the spot.
6) Band leader's wife insisting by shouting and arm waving, that the bass was "way too loud," even when I played 5 songs in a row with my amp off. Quit on the spot.
There are probably more, but I quit.
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I have quit a lot of bands mainly when i don't like my bandmates playing at rehearsals and the music they all want to play.
