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Why do we prevaricate?
- Thread starter slobake
- Start date
I would lie occasionally when I was younger, fearing the consequences of the truth or more probably I was just that insecure and preferred the daydreamed Walter Mitty lie . . . to the truth.
Some years ago, it dawned on me that A) it's a lot of work to re-tell the same lie over and over changing nothing (this is how the Po-leese sniff you out, nobody can get it right over and over), and B) I was secure enough that no matter how painful or embarrassing the truth may be, it was far easier to own up to some mistake and move on.
That pretty much ended it. In a strange way, it's easier: Most people aren't expecting full-time honesty, and I actually believe a lot of people are as uncomfortable with the truth, probably more than me, so let 'er rip. Straight, no chaser, can right most situations, although sometimes inelegantly.
Some years ago, it dawned on me that A) it's a lot of work to re-tell the same lie over and over changing nothing (this is how the Po-leese sniff you out, nobody can get it right over and over), and B) I was secure enough that no matter how painful or embarrassing the truth may be, it was far easier to own up to some mistake and move on.
That pretty much ended it. In a strange way, it's easier: Most people aren't expecting full-time honesty, and I actually believe a lot of people are as uncomfortable with the truth, probably more than me, so let 'er rip. Straight, no chaser, can right most situations, although sometimes inelegantly.
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
You are dead to me. And I could never lie. Unless the question is about whether it makes her look ...
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
I'm fairly renowned for this, and have always been. It is often something everyone is thinking but won't say. I'm very familiar with the look on peoples' faces that says "I can't believe he just said that!"
When I was working, I was around some powerful people who seemed always to be playing power games. Those games require lying or at least concealing stuff. I was the naive little kid saying "The King is not wearing clothes at all." And this scared those people.
Being honest is embarrassing sometimes, but it is safe.
I was a young man (in my 40's) when I entered corporate middle management. I was naive and thought everyone was honest and wanted to do the best for the company and each other. It didn't take long to realize I was swimming with the sharks. I had a very foul mouth at the time and if someone stabbed me in the back with a smile on their face I would let it loose. "What the **** are you talking about? This is total bull****." My boss at the time would call me out of the meeting and tell me I couldn't say those things in meetings. I would tell him it was total horse bleep and the ************ were ****** backstabbers. He was very patient with me. He would tell me he understood but I needed to find a less volatile way to express myself. It never worked out and I never fit in to that culture. One of the best days of my life when I got demoted back to a tech.
This is something I learned early on. Whether I want a holiday or choose to (not) do something, I will provide a reason if I see fit to do so. You're free to ask me why, but that doesn't oblige me to answer.
Agree. But in my trees case, where is the truth ? If i look at them from one point, they're vertical. If i look at them from the other point, they are leaning. Both truth are truth.
The one and only truth doesn't exist; unless it's a "physical" truth demonstrated by science. But as science can't explain a lot of things happening; there are different truths that can apply to the same topic. Call it point of view, way of thinking, feelings, emotions, whatever. But a lot of people call it truth. And it's their own truth which will not be unique, and often lead to conflicts. Problem is to define clearly what is the truth.If someone is running for an elected office of some kind, this is the attitude to have. In actuality, there is only a single truth based on the actual, factual information surrounding the topic. “Different truths” don’t exist, but if someone thinks there is an alternative truth to the one-and-only-truth, it’s probably because they have been lied to, or “shorted” of some of the factual information surrounding the topic
So, this allows the person telling the “alternative truth” (AKA, a lie) to believe they are telling the “one and only truth”, and allows their conscience to rest easy going forward.
It's true you can see things differently from different perspectives. Doesn't mean there are multiple truths. In your case, along one axis, the trees are parallel, and along another axis there is an angle between them. There aren't multiple truths in that case, just different characteristics not viewable from a single perspective position. Just because you didn't see one attribute from one position doesn't mean that attribute doesn't exist.
Fully agree ! But what i want to say is if someone see my tree without having the possibility (or the wish) to turn a little and see the other perspective, his truth will be that my trees are vertical and he could even swear it. And this is what happens on a lot of topics between humans. We often don't take time to turn around the tree before sharing our truth.
You are talking about facts. One person is able to verify the fact and the other is not in a position to do it. Only fools make factual claims when they don't have good evidence or reasons to support the claim. You're wasting your time arguing with a person like that.
In the latter part of my career I learned the magic trick of asking questions. Calmly ask them a question which shows your knowledge of what they thought they could get away with, and which they will struggle to answer. In front of the group. They will learn to avoid you and when they can't do that, they'll keep their mouth shut.
This is exactly what i'm talking about.
But it's not always clear and facts: let's take a bass example.
Truth one: on electric bass, body wood affects tone
Truth 2: on electric bass, body wood doesn't affect tone, all is in the pickup.
What is the truth ?
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Are we talking about what truth is now? I am ok with that. All of us are messed up, that is just part of being human. Sometimes the people who are the quickest about giving advice are the least qualified to give advice. I know that I need to look at myself first before I judge others. That is how I try to live my life but don't always do a good job of it. We can quibble about this and what certain words actually mean and I am okay with that too, but I might not participate in that because it only leads me in circles.
I remember talking about this very issue with my wife, Morgan Fairchild, during our latest Tuna Noodle Casserole Enthusiasts Club meeting. (@slobake won again, btw) Some people are just shameless.
/cue the "why I oughta..."
/cue the "why I oughta..."
At least at work, I made it a point to always tell the truth. The simple fact is that I found that over time, I couldn't remember which lie I told.
The simple solution: tell the truth. I remember on more than one occasion working with faculty at a university, I heard "Doggone it, that's the same thing you told me two years ago." Yup, and I was proud that I was consistent. When people get the same answer more than once, they believe you're telling the truth.
In my private life, I really don't have any reason to tell lies. I might tell an edited, diplomatic version of the truth, but not a lie.
Incidentally, one of R.A. Heinlein's characters once said: "The best way to tell a lie is to tell the right amount of the truth, then shut up."
The simple solution: tell the truth. I remember on more than one occasion working with faculty at a university, I heard "Doggone it, that's the same thing you told me two years ago." Yup, and I was proud that I was consistent. When people get the same answer more than once, they believe you're telling the truth.
In my private life, I really don't have any reason to tell lies. I might tell an edited, diplomatic version of the truth, but not a lie.
Incidentally, one of R.A. Heinlein's characters once said: "The best way to tell a lie is to tell the right amount of the truth, then shut up."
