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Wife girlfriend support

#61
AaronVonRock said:
Jesus, this thread has turned into a school yard bully session. "Get the guy who talks funny!" Go on on Spanish or French forum and see how you fare.
........
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He's using his own form of 'short hand', not from lack of understanding of the language.
Read his profile, he has perfectly good comprehension of English language, grammar, and punctuation.

The OP is simly in a confusing format.
 
#63
Ferret said:
Anyone have issue that spouse says supports even buys equipment because likes to but soon as an argument throws playing back in your face playing more important than her but when all good says need to get more shows. Never practice and complains should then complains when you do, says wants to go to shows but then complains that goes if having domestic about something.
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support from wife/girlfriend crucial to success musician. so much my wife and girlfriend both 2 jobs.
 
#64
I have been married for 6 years, with her for 8 overall. Her last boyfriend before me she had bought a bass for, me not so much. Now she is very supportive an understanding of me going to practice even more than once a week if necessary, we do have 3 kids. When I turned 30 my dad got me a 4003 Rick. She held that over my head for the last few years. Any time I was caught even looking at bass to buy online i would get a dirty look. "You don't need more than 2!" Now though she has come through big time as I will be one of 15 owners of the 4004L in snowglo. Purchased by her just to show support for what I love. She is really great to me!
 
#66
Ferret said:
Anyone have issue that spouse says supports even buys equipment because likes to but soon as an argument throws playing back in your face playing more important than her but when all good says need to get more shows. Never practice and complains should then complains when you do, says wants to go to shows but then complains that goes if having domestic about something.
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Yes, I have experienced this. It got so bad in the end that my ex-partner actively engaged in hostility towards band members when they were collecting me for gigs, and hostility towards venues and staff by incessently calling them. She tried to cancel gigs "on our behalf" via directly contacting venues (thankfully she didn't contact the agents) and one weekend she was so displeased with me playing away for a weekend she called one venue so frequently they threatened to contact the police and had to get the number barred from calling!! All this in an attempt to get me fired. Thankfully my bandmates at the time thought it was a hoot and were on my side.

I finally left that relationship around 2 years ago.

Your question and the advice you seek is really much more suited to a marriage counsellor than a bass forum.
 
#67
Wife is totally supportive - comes to most gigs and takes photos.

That said, I think it was good that when we met I was in a band that practiced twice a a week so the only "me" she's known was one with a regular band obligation..

good luck!
 
#68
Ferret said:
Anyone have issues where your spouse says she supports you and even buys equipment because she likes to but as soon as an argument happens, throws playing music back in your face by saying that it seems that playing is more important than her?

However, to make it crazier, when everything is good she says she needs to attend more shows. Sometimes we don't practice and she complains that we should so we can get more shows but she goes crazy and then complains when I do have to rehearse and leave her by herself.

She says wants to go to shows but then complains that if she goes she'll miss out on some domestic stuff.
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A somewhat shaky interpretation of the OP.
 
#70
I received sensitivity training since my last, snarky post and I have therefore returned to apologize for my previous comments about the OP's compositional skills.

I do still think he needs to throw the wife overboard, however. The well-integrated male has zero tolerance for a nattering woman who would oppose his true will. Flip her immediately for a better player.
 
#71
mellowinman said:
Wife pretty blonde nice body. We argue plenty some her fault some mine but not matter because very very hot. Hotness not make marriage say some but those people who not understand spark is fire and fire might burn but ultimately life better whe there is heat. Twelve years and not kill each other yet, play in same band, scare hell out of other people with some arguments but never violence so far. Considered divorce plenty times but little voice say not live without so maybe love.
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^This.


OP, she's just pushing your buttons.

Just stand up (politely but firmly) for what you are passionate about and you'll both be happy.

A little heat = great relationship.

No heat = kiss of death of relationship.


Heat is good.
 
#73
grammar.gif
 
#74
Kragnorak said:
Ferret, you might want to avoid duty book writing if you take this advice. ;)





"hey babe jan 1 you buy me new strings, great thanks, very next day we have domestic and you complain my instrument no function jan 4 we go to show together great time but jan 10 I have gig and domestic for another time in 2 weeks wth LOL hey baby why it gotta be that way? now I give you $2000 for craft shows and you give me $1000 in music but then throw it in face every domestic how are we gonna domesticate you so you can masticate food before spitting in my face? I wrote this in crayon so you will simple understand once and for all" :help:
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Pretended someone from Quebec wrote it and it made full sense. :)
 
#75
Joebarnes said:
I find when urelated issues are brought up during an argument, frequently it is due to a less than solid argument. When she can't win based upon her main issue, attack on all fronts, something will stick.

When her issue with you is strong and valid, there is no need for the side arguments.
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Perfectly said and makes sense. For those confused by my original post.

Said makes sense perfectly to my confused post originally posted.
 

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