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Wife girlfriend support
- Thread starter Ferret
- Start date
Women can be that way. Actually, people can be this way, it's just that your significant other is in your life pretty intensely so the inconsistencies are more glaring. A lot depends on whether this is what your whole relationship is like, or whether this is just one issue that crops up from time to time and otherwise things are good.
I've had a little bit of this with my wife, mostly when money-related stuff is at stake. When I go off to band practice and there aren't gigs in sight, she may complain that my band thing isn't making any money. When I'm off to a paying gig and the band is busy, she may complain that I'm not home more. Or with gear purchases - she worries about money, and honestly I AM the bigger spender of the two of us. When I would buy something, she'd say I should save up over time to buy it, even gave me a piggy bank for a birthday to make the point. When I saved up for six months and then bought a new bass, she said the piggy bank was a joke and she didn't expect me to actually use it. Or another time she said if I wanted to buy something, I should sell something else to raise the money for it. So I started selling my books over amazon, and bought stuff with the money... and she was still unhappy about the new music gear in the house. She just doesn't like me buying stuff, period.
Is it a pain? Yes. But it's just a particular anxious spot for her, and the marriage is strong in spite of little things like that. And, at the bottom line, she understands that a guy needs to get out of the house and go hunting or go bowling or something, that it helps him come home to be a better husband and that for me, band is that something. She's supportive on the whole. Really, the complaining is just a (rather annoying) way of saying she loves me and wants me around more. I can cope.
I've had a little bit of this with my wife, mostly when money-related stuff is at stake. When I go off to band practice and there aren't gigs in sight, she may complain that my band thing isn't making any money. When I'm off to a paying gig and the band is busy, she may complain that I'm not home more. Or with gear purchases - she worries about money, and honestly I AM the bigger spender of the two of us. When I would buy something, she'd say I should save up over time to buy it, even gave me a piggy bank for a birthday to make the point. When I saved up for six months and then bought a new bass, she said the piggy bank was a joke and she didn't expect me to actually use it. Or another time she said if I wanted to buy something, I should sell something else to raise the money for it. So I started selling my books over amazon, and bought stuff with the money... and she was still unhappy about the new music gear in the house. She just doesn't like me buying stuff, period.
Is it a pain? Yes. But it's just a particular anxious spot for her, and the marriage is strong in spite of little things like that. And, at the bottom line, she understands that a guy needs to get out of the house and go hunting or go bowling or something, that it helps him come home to be a better husband and that for me, band is that something. She's supportive on the whole. Really, the complaining is just a (rather annoying) way of saying she loves me and wants me around more. I can cope.
CrashClint
I Play Bass therefore I Am
Man, you guys can be brutal. Most likely English isn't his first language, extend him a little grace. 
I do, she does craft shows. I do all set up and run them. Just paid $2000 in three months for her for supplies
Man, you guys can be brutal. Most likely English isn't his first language, extend him a little grace.
Thanks Crash. Actually it's a result of 20 years investigations and writing in duty books in a fashion that I could understand but drove defence lawyers nuts. Sort of stuck when writing fast, mind to print. Didn't know it was a test or I would have studied. In a bit I am going to simplify the question, not out of rudeness but to make it more understandable.
Everyone of us has weak spots. Their deliberate exploitation by a person with inside knowledge is not the sign of love. It is a sign of evil manipulation. The exploiter is not a nice person. It's up to you to carry this information to its logical conclusion.
- Oct 18, 2012
- 6,683
- 5,538
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
- Oct 18, 2012
- 6,683
- 5,538
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
you,... bassist having a wife who had something each time,, then supporting, your ... each time I fell... for twenty odd years, you found something else then having it found again.. so what do you think??? ;-)
My wife encourages me to buy more than I already do!
And she supports proper use of punctuation!
We do not fight. She told me once to shut up, I thought she said stand up and when I did she promptly bitch-slapped me!
And she supports proper use of punctuation!
We do not fight. She told me once to shut up, I thought she said stand up and when I did she promptly bitch-slapped me!
jive1
Commercial User
No offense, but if you communicate with your wife/girlfriend like you did in your original post, I would expect you to be on the losing side of most arguments.
Sorry dude the TB vote is unanimous, please go down to the nearest local community college and sign up for writing in English as a second language asap. ;-)
If the spouse brings up unrelated frustrations (bass) during an argument, chances are that's just it, frustration. My advice is patiently bypass those comments and attentively focus on her real source of consternation with you. Good luck.
