Obviously you need to get rid of the neighbors. Two ideas come to mind. A) Murder them or B) Move.
Personally, I would go with option B. But that's just me.
Personally, I would go with option B. But that's just me.
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Worst neighbour ever.
- Thread starter spoonfulofshred
- Start date
Set the neighbor up for failure. Remove all sound sources (guitars, tv, radios, all of them...) from your apartment till the next complaint and demand the guard or whoever come into your apartment and see that the noise is not coming from and cannot have come from your apartment. Explain that this has been a repeated complaint and you purposely took all of your instruments out to prove your point. Then tell them the next time will bring a civil complaint against them for harassment.
Better yet next time tell them to call the cops and let the cops see you have no sound sources in your apartment then you can tell them about the abuse you have been enduring and the cops will have a little talk with the neighbor...
Better yet next time tell them to call the cops and let the cops see you have no sound sources in your apartment then you can tell them about the abuse you have been enduring and the cops will have a little talk with the neighbor...
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Bonus points: After you make the civil complaint, sneak into the neighbours appartment and install a makeshift meth lab.
Every building is different. I will say NYC has probably the most tolerance for noisy BS than anywhere else I've lived.
Reminds me of the apartment my wife and I had in grad school. The Asian family downstairs would bang on the ceiling for no obvious reason. Every time they gave their toddler kid a bath, they would yell something like "Yazabazaaaaa!" And it was so poorly insulated that in winter, ice domes would form on the nailheads in the baseboard.
Exactly what I was going to say...Make the complaint an obvious falsified claim. If you can get the neighbor to be perceived by everyone involved as a hateful lying crab, then you can play music in your apt. and no one will believe him if he cries wolf again. Setting up a meth lab in his apt. sounds like a creative option as well.
My brother and I lived in a flat years ago in sf, we had a neighbor that used to complain and complain all the time, even when we werent there. Granted we did frequently have practice there and it was quite loud, most people in sf are chill about it. Anyway, this guy would call on us when we were at work and stuff. Well, the pipes would vibrate in the whole building, he lived above us. So I discovered that if the toilet flapper didnt seat just right, it would vibrate the pipes real real loud, would sound like a helicopter landing on the roof. So we were partying a lot....a lot.....Id just wedge the flapper valve up a little bit with a butter knife and we go out for the evening and laugh and laugh and laugh. In fact im laughing about it still. Id frequently come home to exasperated police admonishing the neighbor that we hadnt even been home and that they didnt know what the noise was....
Seems like a simple solution, but ask the guard, before he knocks on your door and blames you, to listen. Mr. Guard, did you hear any noise coming from my apartment? Stand there for a couple of minutes. During that time, did you hear any noise? Maybe even noise coming from some other apartment? Before you blame, listen.
I'd also turn way up before 10. Screw 'em, and that way they'll definitely know when you're playing/not playing!
Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors
- Sign up for loads of junk mail using your neighbor's name and address. They will sure be a frustrated lot when they see the mailbox overflowing with hundreds of letters!
- Daub a generous layer of petroleum jelly or oil over their gate and door knobs. Then watch their reaction when they open the gate/door!
- Call up several of the religious organizations and give them your neighbor's address and ask them to pay a visit, saying you are very interested in joining them!
- Keep an eye out for the newspaper boy. As soon as he delivers the paper at your neighbor's doorstep, make a run for it and steal it before your neighbor opens the door. Remain alert; you do not want to get caught red-handed!
- Enlist their name and phone number in the local newspaper, specifying that they have their car/home up for sale, or they have a garage sale with items they want to sell at throwaway prices! Or just advertise their number as that of a massage parlor, and enjoy yourself when they narrate stories of incessant and unwanted phone calls.
- Crank calls, or call them prank calls, the classic way to annoy people! Call your neighbors repeatedly asking for a certain XYZ, even after they have yelled at you that no one by that name lives there. Keep in mind to use an unlisted number or a number they are not aware of.
- Hide a motion-sensing electronic watch dog (the ones used as burglar alarms) near their door in such a fashion that it makes a loud bark every time your neighbor opens and closes the door.
- These suggestions are for people who live in apartments. Cook something that will emit highly obnoxious odors (try garlic, hot peppers, radish), making sure it wafts right through into their apartment. Secondly, if you have a racket or a baseball bat, thump the ceiling repeatedly which can be highly irritating to the people upstairs, especially if you have wooden floors with no carpet! Or have the TV on at full volume (works even better if you own a home theater!). If you share a common laundry, leave your clothes in the washer/dryer and do not attempt to take them out, even after repeated reminders.
Go the the police station and ask for a copy of the noise call when you are out of town. Then tell the police they are complaining even when you are not making noise, and not even at home to make noise. Have dates and times ready. Then ask how to file a false complaint report against them. That will put the cops on notice that your neighbors are nuts, and they will deal with them, not you. If you want to get sticky about it, have a solicitor (barrister?) write them a nice letter to the affect of "xxx is trying to be a nice neighbor and accommodate your sensitive ears, but you have been caught making false complaints, and the next complaint you make will be taken as an attempt to damage your reputation, and will be dealt with accordingly."
Hopkins
Commercial User
seeing as you get blamed anyway, I say jam loudly and stop at 10pm, as requested. But I really think you need to find a drummer to share as well.
We're foreigners living in Taiwan. I'm not sure how much pull we'll have with the police. Some old lady sees two white guys going in and out with guitars and it's pretty obvious where the complaints are going to be directed. And what the guard doesn't seem to get is when we bring those guitars home at one or two in the morning, it's because we've been playing them loudly somewhere else and I want to go to bed too.
I just wish I knew where the noise was coming from because it's not me. I did use headphones before but now I don't even play at home anymore. Time to move, I suppose.
I'm sorry to hear that, but you have to do what you have to do. I've worked overseas as a consultant and I agree that dealing with police or even neighbors is a tricky business. Best of luck.
