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Wow!! How did that happen?

#41
hrodbert696 said:
Mark 16:18: ...they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.

Snake-handling sects take the verse literally as applying to all true believers. Most Pentecostals are not snake-handlers, it's just a few small churches in some corners of the country.
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Going a little further...the oldest copies of Mark end at verse 8. So chances are slim to nil that words were even spoken by Jesus. Also, Paul actually was bitten by a snake, got sick and survived. So even if Jesus did say this "Snake bite" thing, it could have already been fulfilled in Paul.

DISCLAIMER: This is for those (such as folks at snake-handling churches) that believe in God and that the Bible is his letter to us. For those who believe otherwise, obviously none of this matters

buzzbass said:
Oh the irony ! I love when crap like this happens. I'm guessing God must've been in the crapper for that sermon. LOL
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I haven't quite reached the point of rejoicing when someone dies doing something silly. Perhaps I'll never reach that level of enlightenment :(
 
#42
Some of you might consider me a crazy radical Christ following nut. In fact some christians do as well. :p I think this is more about someone drawing attention to himself than anything else. In my opinion that is not what my faith is about.
I know I am bending rules here but am going to use the bible as a reference.
The bible says that satan told Jesus to jump off of a very high pinnacle on the temple and quoted scripture that bascially said that angels would come and catch Him so He wouldn't be harmed.
I believe Jesus embodies the Spririt of scripture and no one could trick Him by taking something out of context. The bible says He replied to satan with another verse of scripture that says we shouldn't tempt our Father in heaven.
Jesus never put on big shows to make Himself look good and I don't think we should either. The bible decribes Him as a very humble man.
Thank you for allowing me to talk about this here. PM me or go over to the lobby if you have questions.
 
#43
slobake said:
Some of you might consider me a crazy radical Christ following nut. In fact some christians do as well. :p I think this is more about someone drawing attention to himself than anything else. In my opinion that is not what my faith is about.
I know I am bending rules here but am going to use the bible as a reference.
The bible says that satan told Jesus to jump off of a very high pinnacle on the temple and quoted scripture that bascially said that angels would come and catch Him so He wouldn't be harmed.
I believe Jesus embodies the Spririt of scripture and no one could trick Him by taking something out of context. The bible says He replied to satan with another verse of scripture that says we shouldn't tempt our Father in heaven.
Jesus never put on big shows to make Himself look good and I don't think we should either. The bible decribes Him as a very humble man.
Thank you for allowing me to talk about this here. PM me or go over to the lobby if you have questions.
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If you ask me (being a heathen and all), Jesus, as described in the bible, seemed like a pretty cool dude. Would be nice if more christians would pay attention to what he actually said.

And I'm sure nobody here sees you as a "Christ following nut". :)

A nut in general perhaps, but that's a whole different debate... :p
 
#45
DeathFromBelow said:
If you ask me (being a heathen and all), Jesus, as described in the bible, seemed like a pretty cool dude. Would be nice if more christians would pay attention to what he actually said.

And I'm sure nobody here sees you as a "Christ following nut". :)

A nut in general perhaps, but that's a whole different debate... :p
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Thanks my brother. Yup, there is a lot of nuts in this tree. :hiding: :p
 
#49
macaroni tony said:
Going a little further...the oldest copies of Mark end at verse 8. So chances are slim to nil that words were even spoken by Jesus. Also, Paul actually was bitten by a snake, got sick and survived. So even if Jesus did say this "Snake bite" thing, it could have already been fulfilled in Paul.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the Paul thing - I had forgotten that.

There are a lot of possible reasons for the differences in the manuscripts of Mark. The oldest manuscripts do indeed end at verse 8, but oldest does not automatically mean best. Verse 8 is a very odd moment to end, it leaves the reader hanging - Christ's tomb is found empty and the women leave puzzling over it, and that's it. It's possible that the book ended that way and the rest of the chapter was added by someone else later. But it's also possible that there was a faulty early copy (the scribe got interrupted, the manuscript got damaged...) and then copies were made from it; meanwhile another complete copy that existed was copied in later manuscripts and then itself fell victim to time and is no longer preserved. Hard to say.

The woman taken in adultery story in John is also odd in the manuscripts; it's absent from some copies, and its location in the course of the gospel floats around in others. Probably means the story was circulating in early Christianity, but people were unsure where it was supposed to fit in.

I haven't quite reached the point of rejoicing when someone dies doing something silly. Perhaps I'll never reach that level of enlightenment :(
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Hear hear.
 
#50
Play with venomous snakes.

Get bitten.

Die.

Who could have seen that coming???

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ54nOzhZ_TRN3s-OObEP0iB6lhVC7_3oaGcrvEsNVdP0UmiThUsg.png


DARWIN HAD A POINT!

And if you buy every word in any religious tome as representing Truth and Reality, I'll see if any of them refer to prime bottom land in Florida that I can sell you.
 
#54
For some insight into what the snake handling thing is all about, pick up a copy of Covington's "salvation On Sand Mountain"

http://www.amazon.com/Salvation-Sand-Mountain-Redemption-Appalachia/dp/0306818361

Some years back I played in a band with a snake handling fiddle player. As someone who spent considerable time catching and keeping all manner of snakes I figured there some kind of parlor trick involved in snake handling churches because my experience with snakes, especially venomous varieties was they are nothing to be trifled with if you value your life. I went to a few services at the fiddle player's church more to see if I could figure out what the trick was than anything else, and I became convinced it has something to do with the trancelike state they work themselves into before they pick up the snakes. Not unlike the snake charmers in India or the cobra people in Thailand, they achieve some state of calm that fools the snake into thinking they are not a threat.

When I was in the Corps I knew a guy who could pick up a rattlesnake and handle it like one might do with a tame non venomous snake. He claimed he could calm the snake with his mind. I sill think he was FOS about that, but the fact remained I watched him pick up fresh caught wild rattlers and they just let him with no aggression at all.
 
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#57
fraublugher said:
" And so it cameth to passeth ,that the snaketh got Sleepy , the lazieth holy rollereth pastor of adventureth. LO! and behold his nostril, for he will
have difficulty breathing now with a face full for little effort.

nometh, nometh,nometh
Amen
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BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
KNIGHTS:
Amen.
ARTHUR:
Right! One!... Two!... Five!
GALAHAD:
Three, sir!
ARTHUR:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]

Makes more sense to me than most of what I hear from the "every word in the book is Truth" crowd.

Pretty good satire in the first quote, too! Congrats.
 
#58
Pilgrim said:
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
KNIGHTS:
Amen.
ARTHUR:
Right! One!... Two!... Five!
GALAHAD:
Three, sir!
ARTHUR:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]...
Click to expand...

Excellent!
 

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