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Yes I know, fire the drummer. But how?

Here's the thing, I'm in a great band right now, playing music I love, selling lots of merch at gigs, just having a good time. The problem is our drummer, the weak link.
He's an alright drummer, but very barebones, has a bit of a "that's good enough" attitude.
He converted his garage into a rehearsel room. It's small, has terrible acoustics, the layout is all wrong, but it's ours. Problem is he lives half an hours drive from the city the rest of us live in, and since the rest of us are students, he's the only one with a car. Any one of us can cancel for any reason and the rest can go rehearse, but if he cancels, that's it. And he cancels a lot. We try to rehearse once a week, but realistically it averages out to twice a month. What really gets me though is how he cancels the night before, because he "just remembered" he has made other plans. He also rarely checks his messages which makes it frustratingly hard to make plans.

Now I would be quite happy cutting him loose right now, but we've got a major gig coming up in November, and finding a new rehearsel space, a new drummer, and getting him up to speed with the material in time just isn't going to happen. I've taken the role as de facto BL in lieu of anyone else, and have "gone behind the drummer's back" to see if anyone feels the same, and we're all in agreement, he has to go, but after the gig.

But what to say to him? We're using these next three months as a kind of "trial" to see if he gets better, but should we let him know? How long until after the gig in November should we wait to make it seem like we're not just using him? I realise how weird that sounds considering he's our drummer, but knowing him, that's how he would feel.

It's obvious his first priority is his other band, and that's fine, we're all good friends and have played countless gigs together, but I'm afraid letting him go will sour relations with the rest of his other band. So what's the most diplomatic way of telling him to jog on?
 
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The fact is, you ARE just using him. That's garbage. You need to do one of two things:

1. Sit down with him and tell him your specific concerns, and tell him if things don't improve with with regard to his communication and schedule, he is gone. Tell him he has until the next gig to show he will get better. If he improves, keep him.
2. If you don't want to keep him, man up and get another drummer. If you can't break in another drummer in three months, you shouldn't be gigging.
 
This sounds like the travel and availability issues are the primary ones. If his playing was an issue you would have parted ways a long time ago. Plus your next gig is in November- how many gigs does his other band do?
Just bring up the issues and make sure you're on the same page with what you want, maybe he wants to move on but feels bad about letting you guys down. Honesty is the best policy.
 
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1. Sit down with him and tell him your specific concerns, and tell him if things don't improve with with regard to his communication and schedule, he is gone. Tell him he has until the next gig to show he will get better. If he improves, keep him.
Yep, that's the plan so far.
2. If you don't want to keep him, man up and get another drummer. If you can't break in another drummer in three months, you shouldn't be gigging.

If you need 12-16 rehearsals before your big gig, you have bigger problems than a drummer who cancels.
To clarify, we play originals, brutal techdeath, and to be fair, it's pretty demanding. Three months is "worst case scenario" for actually finding a new drummer, finding a new rehearsel space (two things not easily done in our city) and THEN getting the new drummer ready.
Btw, this is probably why he cancels. He is burnt out by endless rehearsals and no gigs.
Quite possible, but we haven't gigged all year because he is so unreliable.
 
Is all the band in agreement about how sloppy and unreliable is the drummer? if the answer is yes, I will communicate to him that we're gonna look for another rehearsal room and look for another drummer. Is that simple.
I can play with sloppy guitards but I cannot play with sloppy drummers, that kill all the fun.

Hvad hedder dit band?
 
Is all the band in agreement about how sloppy and unreliable is the drummer? if the answer is yes, I will communicate to him that we're gonna look for another rehearsal room and look for another drummer. Is that simple.
I can play with sloppy gui****s but I cannot play with sloppy drummers, that kill all the fun.

Hvad hedder dit band?
His proficiency as a drummer isn't in question, he's solid enough. We are all in agreement something needs to happen though, my main question is how to do it diplomatically enough that he doesn't throw a tantrum and make it's look like the bad guys.

Vi hedder Emesis, lad være med at sprede det her før vi har fået det afklaret internt ;)
 
His proficiency as a drummer isn't in question, he's solid enough. We are all in agreement something needs to happen though, my main question is how to do it diplomatically enough that he doesn't throw a tantrum and make it's look like the bad guys.

Vi hedder Emesis, lad være med at sprede det her før vi har fået det afklaret internt ;)

No matter what you decide, don't hold off on telling him to make sure you have a rehearsal space and a warm drum chair for three months then dump him after the gig. Man up and be honest. How would you feel if someone did that to you? And frankly, I don't care what kind of music you play - three months is enough time.
 
The fact is, you ARE just using him. That's garbage. You need to do one of two things:

1. Sit down with him and tell him your specific concerns, and tell him if things don't improve with with regard to his communication and schedule, he is gone. Tell him he has until the next gig to show he will get better. If he improves, keep him.
2. If you don't want to keep him, man up and get another drummer. If you can't break in another drummer in three months, you shouldn't be gigging.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
 
No matter what you decide, don't hold off on telling him to make sure you have a rehearsal space and a warm drum chair for three months then dump him after the gig. Man up and be honest. How would you feel if someone did that to you? And frankly, I don't care what kind of music you play - three months is enough time.
He cancelled again yesterday, and we were supposed to play today, so we are going to talk to him, just need some input on the whats and hows. And again, where we live, finding a new drummer and rehearsal space in just three months isn't going to happen. The only place in town has a waiting list longer than my arm
 
He cancelled again yesterday, and we were supposed to play today, so we are going to talk to him, just need some input on the whats and hows. And again, where we live, finding a new drummer and rehearsal space in just three months isn't going to happen. The only place in town has a waiting list longer than my arm

Sorry to hear that. Just don't lie to him or lead him on. Yeah, it definitely sounds like you are overdue for a heart to heart talk.
 
Just sit him down and ask him point blank does he want to be in the band? Because he keeps cancelling,
Tell him it is okay if his priorities have change, but we need to move on, so if you can't commit then we are going to look for another drummer. Wait for his answer, if he claims he wants to stay then tell him here is what we need from you, and if you can't give us that than we are going to look for a new drummer. This way you find out where his head is at and you put him in the place that he knows what is expected of him and you won't accept anything less. I have use this method with great success in the past. It keeps it business and no feelings or emotions fuel the conversation. RTS
 
Just tell him the truth.

For the rehearsal space issue, you guys just need to start looking and bite the bullet when you find a decent place. If he asks why, just tell him the truth, you guys need a practice space that all of you can easily access and use whenever, no matter who else in the band can make it.

Regarding his cancellations, well, again, just tell him the truth about the concerns of the band and ask if he is happy or if he feels disconnected from the band.

Don’t be accusatory or anything like that. Just keep a cool, rational head and the conversation should be pretty easy.

The most important part is getting that new practice space that’ll work for everyone. The rest of it will just fall into place.

FYI: if you’re in the Pittsburgh area, I’ll be your drummer. Haha.
 
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Just sit him down and ask him point blank does he want to be in the band? Because he keeps cancelling,
Tell him it is okay if his priorities have change, but we need to move on, so if you can't commit then we are going to look for another drummer. Wait for his answer, if he claims he wants to stay then tell him here is what we need from you, and if you can't give us that than we are going to look for a new drummer. This way you find out where his head is at and you put him in the place that he knows what is expected of him and you won't accept anything less. I have use this method with great success in the past. It keeps it business and no feelings or emotions fuel the conversation. RTS
This.
 
If he is using the "just remembered" that he has "other plans" excuse, that shows his lack of commitment to the band. In every band I've been in, rehearsals were scheduled in advance so there wouldn't be any conflicts unless there was a last minute emergency. You have several options. You can fire him now and hope to find another drummer. You can find another drummer and start working with him without your current drummer knowing about it. That way, as you get closer to the November gig, you can decide which drummer to use. You could do nothing and continue to be frustrated.

I would immediately start looking for another drummer and see if he can be ready for November. Then fire the other drummer as soon as possible to avoid additional drama and distractions. Given the fact that the gig is 3 months away, a good drummer should have no trouble learning a set worth of material within that time frame.

"Good enough" doesn't cut it with me. If you can't rehearse on a regular basis, chances are that the November gig isn't going to go well. You should never take a gig that you are not ready for no matter how much you want to play. If he can't commit, cancel the November gig and find another drummer.
 
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Honesty is the best policy.
i am a consistent proponent of being honest and forthright about band issues and/or with problematic members, however: i'm not getting the posted sentiments regarding the timing of the discourse/disclosure --- i think it's fine to play the gig and then let the dumber go. if the timing of this transaction was based on the 'truthful/honest' experience of the other members = he'd already be gone! there's no shame/dishonesty in playing the gig and then dealing with the future. actually: it's a good plan! ;)

But what to say to him?
- "glad we made it through our november gig together...turns out it was your last one. thanks for your service"
- "we appreciate all that you've done for the band. we don't appreciate all that you haven't done for the band, even more."
- "as the BL pro tem, i'm finding it difficult to express this appropriately, but you're out."
- "best of luck with your other band --- your luck with this one just ran out."
:laugh:

seriously: "we're going to find a different drummer and move on without you" is sufficient. good luck! :thumbsup: