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Yoko from He77

sedan_dad

sedan_dad

Feb 5, 2006
3,270
1,516
Columbus,Ohio
#1
She's the new wife of the bands leader and front man.
She started out booking some jobs and she's turned
into the self appointed manager/agent/co-leader.
She's inexperenced in bands although she thinks of
herself as a big time promotor.
Bar owners she's delt with have gone from being
annoyed with her to out right hateing her.
She's going to destroy the band leaders repretation.
This guy has been a fixture here in town for decades.
She's very selfish and immature in her dealings with people.
I and the other guys in the band feel like we're her trained monkeys.
A few of us have other gigs we do and she talking behind
our backs tell club owners that were unreliable so they're
reluctant to hire us. We've talked with the leader and he's
stuck between a rock and a hard place as she's his wife.
I don't see a good outcome of this. Thats what really ticks me off the most.
How dare she come in here and destroy this band.
 
#2
Sucks to hear it man. What you said sounded like a delicate situation, to be handled with care. Normally I would have recommended a sit down with all the band members, the wife and the frontman to talk things over. A lot of the times people who do this kind of thing don't even realise they're being overbearing and just an honest talk could clear it right up.

But then you said something about her talking behind your back to club owners and that is just way across the line. The b**** has to go down. I'd say confront her about it, maybe even in the presence of the hubby. Does he even know about her badmouthing you to clubowners? How does he feel about that? She's messing with your livelyhood man! Or at the very least your reputation.

Now I've only heard your side of this, but she sounds like an arrogant, self-centered, powertripping poophole.

GL with this.
 
#3
It's awful going out of town cause she's right there.
The bar give the band 2 hotel romms. With her along she and hubby take one then that leaves 4 of us fighting over the bed ,couch and floor. Thats wrong.The balls is in his court.
His wife, his band, his rep, his call.
Just a real shame.
 
#4
sedan_dad said:
We've talked with the leader and he's
stuck between a rock and a hard place as she's his wife
Click to expand...
He has a decision to make. Either he thinks with his Northern head or his Southern head, and the result of that choice will determine whether or not his band vaporizes into a puff of toxic and foul-smelling smoke

I don't see a good outcome of this
Click to expand...
Agree

Best you can hope for is that your bandleader realizes that having Clueless Wife on the payroll will destroy the band. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. She needs to be fired
 
#7
I quit a band last year over this exact thing. The only difference was that the guitarist/bandleader actually thought his wife was great and was doing us a favor. She signed us up a FB page and put things on there that were not only stupid and false, but misspelled to boot. She put our pictures on the internet without our permission. She still uses this FB page for her own personal crap and our pictures are still all over it, even though I bailed and took one of the guitar players and the drummer with me almost a year ago.


Anyway, your bandleader needs to decide whether or not it's worth it to him to save this band. He needs to tell her that the rest of the band is not cool with her making decisions for them and she needs to step down. Either that or you need to bail.
 
#12
If I brought my wife to work, I'd get some looks and maybe a gentle conversation with my boss. If my wife came to work and started dictating how I do things, or started giving direction to those I supervise, I'd be fired in an instant.

Being married to someone does not give you the right to dictate all areas of their life...
 
#13
If her husband, who you call the leader, is indeed the leader, then there ain't squat you're gonna do about it, it's all up to him. You have a choice. Me? I'd give the leader an ultimatum ... she goes, or I do ... and then act accordingly. No notice, no waiting around for a replacement. If you're not willing to do just that, then you're in the same situation as he is ... made powerless by this interfering woman.
 
#14
Beej said:
If I brought my wife to work, I'd get some looks and maybe a gentle conversation with my boss. If my wife came to work and started dictating how I do things, or started giving direction to those I supervise, I'd be fired in an instant. Being married to someone does not give you the right to dictate all areas of their life...
Click to expand...
Exactly. But then, you don't sound like the type who would let that happen. Neither am I. Fortunately, I'm not married to woman who would do that, either. Sounds like the leader needs to grow a pair.
 
#15
sedan_dad said:
Bar owners she's delt with have gone from being
annoyed with her to out right hateing her.

A few of us have other gigs we do and she talking behind
our backs tell club owners that were unreliable so they're
reluctant to hire us..
Click to expand...

Any way you can get a couple of the club owners to make a quick call the band leader? Maybe they can let the band leader know what's going on.

Sometimes it's better to hear it from the people that are paying you than the people working for/with you.

+1 on interfering with your other projects. Maybe the club owners can verify that as well.

IMO, the band is toast. Even if she backs off, your band leader will getting crap from the "Yoko from He77" for a long time to come.

To me, it seems that she doesn't want to be waiting at home while he's out gigging or just to tag along to listen to the band. I guess he didnt' make it clear to her what her role was in his musician life. I'd say that if he asks her to quit doing what she's doing, she'll make his life bad enough that he will quit music so she can get his full attention; which may be her plan all along.
 
#17
If she is the 'new' wife, he is going to side with her every time and the other guys in the band are either just going to have to suck it up or move on. My vote? You do the moving first and quickly, cuz it just ain't goin to get any better.
 
#18
Makes me appreciate my wife even more. The only "interference" she brings is helping wrap cords and tear down if she bothers to attend a show.

Sounds like you are sunk though. There is no way to fix the situation. If he does nothing your situation sucks. If he OR you confront her you will be treated like an azzhole forever regardless the outcome.

I'd start looking for a new band. Good luck.
 
#20
badstonebass said:
Makes me appreciate my wife even more. The only "interference" she brings is helping wrap cords and tear down if she bothers to attend a show.

Sounds like you are sunk though. There is no way to fix the situation. If he does nothing your situation sucks. If he OR you confront her you will be treated like an azzhole forever regardless the outcome.

I'd start looking for a new band. Good luck.
Click to expand...

+1
 

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