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Your favorite film dialogue

Also from The Outlaw Josey Wales:

Ten Bears : These things you say we will have, we already have.

Invalid Link Removed: That's true. I ain't promising you nothing extra. I'm just giving you life and you're giving me life. And I'm saying that men can live together without butchering one another.

Ten Bears : It's sad that governments are chiefed by the double tongues. There is iron in your words of death for all Comanche to see, and so there is iron in your words of life. No signed paper can hold the iron. It must come from men. The words of Ten Bears carries the same iron of life and death. It is good that warriors such as we meet in the struggle of life... or death. It shall be life.
 
From the Discworld fantasy novel, "Hogfather", by the late Sir Terry Pratchett. Made into a 2 part movie (4 hours total).

DEATH is literally the Grim Reaper. He has developed an affinity for humanity.

Susan Sto Helit is his adopted granddaughter. She has acquired a limited set of DEATH's powers.

They are discussing the nature of "belief". It should be noted that DEATH always speaks in all capital letters.


==================

SUSAN - "You're saying humans need fantasies to make life bearable."

DEATH - NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

SUSAN - "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers* — ?"

DEATH - YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

SUSAN - "So we can believe the big ones?"

DEATH - YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

SUSAN - "They're not the same at all!"

DEATH - YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

SUSAN - "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

DEATH - YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

===============

* The Hogfather is the Discworld's version of Santa Claus.


 
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There is so much great dialog in Little Big Man it's almost impossible to pick a favorite scene, but if forced to I'd go with Old Lodge Skins explaining to Jack the difference between the white man and the human beings
Jack Crabb:
Do you hate them? Do you hate the White man now?

Old Lodge Skins:
Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity of it? Because the human beings, my son, they believe everything is alive. Not only man and animals. But also water, earth, stone. And also the things from them... like that hair. The man from whom this hair came, he's bald on the other side, because I now own his scalp! That is the way things are. But the white man, they believe EVERYTHING is dead. Stone, earth, animals. And people! Even their own people! If things keep trying to live, white man will rub them out. That is the difference.

Old Lodge Skins:
There is an endless supply of white men. There has always been a limited number of human beings.


Old Lodge Skins gratitude speech



or their conversation at the end of the movie as Jack and Old Lodge Skins are coming down off the hillside after Old Lodge Skins failed to die.

Old Lodge Skins:
Let's go back to the teepee and eat, my son. My new snake wife cooks dog very well.

Jack Crabb:
All right, Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins:
She also has a very soft skin. The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say's she doesn't. That's why I call her "Doesn't Like Horses". But, of course, she's lying.


The back and forth between Jack and general Custer right before the battle of Little Bighorn was also pretty good.

Jack Crabb:
General, you go down there.

General Custer:
You're advising me to go into the Coulee?

Jack Crabb:
Yes sir.

General Custer:
There are no Indians there, I suppose.

Jack Crabb:
I didn't say that. There are thousands of Indians down there. And when they get done with you, there won't be nothing left but a greasy stain. This ain't the Washite River, General, and them ain't helpless women and children waiting for you. They're Cheyenne brave, and Sioux. You go down there, General, if you've got the nerve.

General Custer:
Still trying to outsmart me, aren't you, mule-skinner. You want me to think that you don't want me to go down there, but the subtle truth is you really *don't* want me to go down there!


And the score by John Hammond was none too shabby.
 
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Godfather
Don Vito
Meeting of the 5 families

BARZINI

Then we are agreed. The traffic in drugs will be permitted, but controlled -- and Don Corleone will give up protection in the East -- and there will be the peace.


TATTAGLIA

But I must have strict assurance from Corleone -- as time goes by and his position becomes stronger, will he attempt any individual vendetta?


BARZINI

Look -- we are all reasonable men here; we don't have to give assurances as if we were lawyers...


VITO CORLEONE (holding up his hand to interrupt Barzini)

You talk about vengeance -- is vengeance gonna bring your son back to you? Or my boy to me? I forgo the vengeance of my son -- But I have selfish reasons. My youngest son -- was forced to leave this country, --
(then, as he stands, with Tom's assistance) -- because of this Sollozzo business. All right -- and I have to make arrangements to bring him back here safely -- cleared of all these false charges. But I'm a superstitious man -- and if some unlucky accident should befall him -- if he should get shot in the head by a police officer -- or if he -- should hang himself in his jail cell -- or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning -- then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room. And that, I do not forgive.
But -- that aside -- let me say that I swear -- on the souls of my grandchildren -- that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made here today...
 
From the Discworld fantasy novel, "Hogfather", by the late Sir Terry Pratchett. Made into a 2 part movie (4 hours total).

DEATH is literally the Grim Reaper. He has developed an affinity for humanity.

Susan Sto Helit is his adopted granddaughter. She has acquired a limited set of DEATH's powers.

They are discussing the nature of "belief". It should be noted that DEATH always speaks in all capital letters.


==================

SUSAN - "You're saying humans need fantasies to make life bearable."

DEATH - NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

SUSAN - "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers* — ?"

DEATH - YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

SUSAN - "So we can believe the big ones?"

DEATH - YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

SUSAN - "They're not the same at all!"

DEATH - YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

SUSAN - "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

DEATH - YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

===============

* The Hogfather is the Discworld's version of Santa Claus.

We have a Hogswatch party every year during the holidays, and that scene always gets everyone choked up.

Here's my submission:



MILLER
A lot of people don't realize what's
really going on. They view life as a
bunch of unconnected incidences and
things. They don't realize that there's
this like lattice of coincidence that
lays on top of everything. I'll Give
you an example, show you what I mean.
Suppose you thinking about a plate of
shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like
plate or shrimp or plate of shrimp out
of the blue no explanation. No point
in looking for one either. It's all
part of a cosmic unconsciousness.


OTTO

You eat a lot of acid Miller, back in
the hippie days?

MILLER

I'll give you another instance. You
know the way everybody's into weirdness
right now. Books in all the supermarkets
about Bermuda triangles, UFO's, how
the Mayans invented television. That
kind of thing.

OTTO

I don't read them books.

MILLER
Well the way I see it it's exactly the
same. There ain't no difference between
a flying saucer and a time machine.
People get so hung up on specifics.
They miss out on seeing the whole thing.
Take South America for example. In South
America thousands of people go missing
every year. Nobody knows where they
go. They just like disappear. But if
you think about it for a minute, you
realize something. There had to be a
time when there was no people. Right?

OTTO
Yeah. I guess.

MILLER
Well where did all these people come
from? hmmm? I'll tell you where. The
future. Where did all these people disappear
to? hmmm?

OTTO

The past?

MILLER
That's right and how did they get there?


OTTO

How the f (hell) do I know?

MILLER
Flying saucers. Which are really? Yeah
you got it. Time machines. I think a
lot about this kind of stuff. I do my
best thinking on the bus. That how come
I don't drive, see?

OTTO

You don't even know how to drive.

MILLER
I don't want to know how. I don't want
to learn. See? The more you drive, the
less intelligent you are.

And of course . . .

 
Brother Where Art Thou?

The three convicts look out at the swampland which begins to
show movement, the bowing grass trampled by men and dogs.

The flatcar draws even and slows.

EVERETT
Mind if we join you, ol' timer?

OLD MAN
Join me, my sons.

The three men clamber aboard and the old man resumes pumping.

The three men exchange glances; Delmar waves a clanking hand
before the old man's milky eyes. No reaction.

DELMAR
You work for the railroad, grandpa?

OLD MAN
I work for no man.

PETE
Got a name, do ya?

OLD MAN
I have no name.

EVERETT
Well, that right there may be why
you've had difficulty finding gainful
employment. Ya see, in the mart of
competitive commerce, the-

OLD MAN
You seek a great fortune, you three
who are now in chains...

The men fall silent.

OLD MAN
And you will find a fortune - though
it will not be the fortune you seek...

The three convicts, faces upturned, listen raptly to the
blind prophet.

OLD MAN
...But first, first you must travel
a long and difficult road - a road
fraught with peril, uh-huh, and
pregnant with adventure. You shall
see things wonderful to tell. You
shall see a cow on the roof of a
cottonhouse, uh-huh, and oh, so many
startlements...

The cloudy eyes of the old man stare sightlessly down the
track as the seesaw handle rises and falls through frame.

OLD MAN
...I cannot say how long this road
shall be. But fear not the obstacles
in your path, for Fate has vouchsafed
your reward. And though the road
may wind, and yea, your hearts grow
weary, still shall ye foller the
way, even unto your salvation.

The old man pumps - reek-a reek-a reek-a - as all contemplate
his words.

Loud and sudden:

OLD MAN
IZZAT CLEAR?
 
The swordfight scene (among others ) in Princess Bride "my name in Indego Montoya, you have killed my father, now prepare to die".

Too many in Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. My favorite was the one scene in BS that was cut.Cleavon Little and Madilyn Kahn are in the bedroom, and his response to her in the dark about "is it true what they say about you, that you are endowed (something like that". Oh it's true, it's true" was "Madam, I hate to disappoint you, but you're sucking on my elbow".
 
I used to watch Withnail & I a lot, it's got a lot of famous quotable bits but it's the little lines that get me:

Uncle Monty (talking about his cat): Yet again that oaf has ruined my evening.

Withnail: I hope tobacco sales plummet.

Withnail: How dare you. How dare you accuse me of being inhumane.

Marwood, about to kill a chicken: Quick, before it tries to make friends with us.

And of course Withnail's "I have of late lost all my mirth" Shakespeare speech at the end, a great performance of a great performance.
 
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Invalid Link Removed: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Invalid Link Removed: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Invalid Link Removed: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Invalid Link Removed: Wood.
Invalid Link Removed: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Invalid Link Removed: ...because they're made of... wood?
Invalid Link Removed: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Invalid Link Removed: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Invalid Link Removed: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Invalid Link Removed: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Invalid Link Removed: Apples.
Invalid Link Removed: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Invalid Link Removed: Gravy.
Invalid Link Removed: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Invalid Link Removed: Churches.
Invalid Link Removed: Lead! Lead!
Invalid Link Removed: A Duck.
Invalid Link Removed: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Invalid Link Removed: And therefore...
Invalid Link Removed: ...A witch!
 
Invalid Link Removed: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Invalid Link Removed: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Invalid Link Removed: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Invalid Link Removed: Wood.
Invalid Link Removed: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Invalid Link Removed: ...because they're made of... wood?
Invalid Link Removed: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Invalid Link Removed: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Invalid Link Removed: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Invalid Link Removed: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Invalid Link Removed: Apples.
Invalid Link Removed: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Invalid Link Removed: Gravy.
Invalid Link Removed: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Invalid Link Removed: Churches.
Invalid Link Removed: Lead! Lead!
Invalid Link Removed: A Duck.
Invalid Link Removed: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Invalid Link Removed: And therefore...
Invalid Link Removed: ...A witch!


Classic. Just Classic. :thumbsup: