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OK. YOU WIN. NO MORE STORIES. Whatever.

Greetings, gentlemen. If I may interject here, I'd like to post a pic and tell a teeny bit of my experience with this. Last year, Robert asked me to be interviewed for the Jaco movie he's involved with. Of course I agreed. I drove down to the illustrious Fillmore where he was conducting...

No offense meant, Neo: Poring over “Pore” and “Pour” I just spent an hour writing an 'interesting' post in response to Tom's 'interesting' story post, and my browser just ate it. I'm not happy right now, but I'm not going to dwell on the past. I'm going to move forward...

No, no. Thank YOU. You are the very thing I was talking about over and over again for years afterwards. At the time Tom found me, I was dead inside. I don't even really feel like I'd been murdered - even though I talked enough about this happening or that occurrence having a negative effect...

The rig I played through during that period had, yes, a compressor in the rack. I never touched it, nor learned how to use it. Only when I asked was I told "It's to take the transients out for recording purposes". I nodded sagely and attempted to give them the idea that, yes, this was exactly...

You got me. "Hippie band". Wow.

Man, you don't mind if I alternate puking from tension into a little bucket and crying hot tears for all the lost years, so you? No, I didn't think you would. (this is a joke. I am not doing any of the above. This has been a preemptive irony-free-zone prophylactic statement) Before I get to...

Careful. Did you buy the first one? Have you bought it yet? If so, I'll consider it, just for you. Otherwise... STUDY VULCANOLOGY!!! :D

Wait. Bass players...you knew...were offended I called them morons - but not really - and wouldn't listen to Frank Zappa's music, the last live music he produced on this Earth... because I played on it? After pleading with them? You're actually saying this... Man, after all the things I've...

Dude. It's all good (as the kiddies say). I apologize for getting you all riled up, but I never meant for it to be taken seriously. My story is my own. It was always mine to **** up. Your generous and gracious offer was the best thing that had ever happened to me (besides Georgia) up to that...

Oh, don't worry. I was kidding. I'm perfectly happy to have it done 'my way or not at all'. For instance, I ****ing HATED The Real Frank Zappa Book. And no, not just because it didn't mention me at all. But because it was so plastic, even though it was 'in his voice'. His voice was...

Priceless. Classic Tom. The best parts of In Cold Blood: Interview with Really Scary Musicians were the introductions. To the book and to each section. I re-read them over and over, having 'lived' my section and not caring too much about the other guys (sorry!). They were the only 'written'...