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abrubtly quitting?

jnuts1

jnuts1

Inactive
Nov 13, 2007
2,277
1,919
#1
oh man do I want out of a band I am in real quick. the only problem I am having just quitting abruptly is I have a gig with them on Friday but I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY IT. I am wondering if I can get out of this without being a total jerk, or if I am being a jerk at all.

I joined this band about 3 months ago because I wanted an outlet to funk it up a bit but these guys are giving me an ulcer. So Friday we played a gig after a concert we went to & this is how it went down. everyone got wasted but me & the keys guy. & they got wasted on way more than booze, which I asked them NOT to do. & then no one remembered where or when to meet up which resulted in being about 45 minutes late on start up. how hard is it to leave a 3 hr concert 20 min early? Really hard I guess. Then the gig was a disaster, missed changes, restarts, drummer wants to take a break every other tune, lead singer guitarist just gives his guitar to someone MID-SONG which never ended the song & just faded it out. AHHHH!

So then on Saturday we play some bar & it is just as bad. drummer w/ the PA is over an hour late, then the singer disappears for about an hour without setting anything up. it is already over an hour after we are supposed to start & I have the owner asking me to lower our fee & I can’t find anyone. Finally find everyone & get the PA & guitar set up only to have them take another smoke break before we started! It is now almost midnight & we were supposed to start at 10. I have been ready since about 9:15. As soon as we start I am informed that the singer/guitar is tripping since someone dosed his beer & it probably happened to me too!!! I almost came unglued & he had to check to see if they really did it to me, thankfully they did not but this is the last straw for me. I think it is too much risk to hang out with people that could potentially spike your drinks when you are playing. then after we were done everyone leaves for smoke/drink breaks & they don’t come back till the bar is just about ready to close, they already had all of the chairs up & floors swept before we started breaking down!

I just want a way out now. I need to grab my gear & tell them I am done but I am wondering what to do about the upcoming Friday gig disaster. I usually give notice & finish out gigs but I just want to be done & not work with them again. whatever shall I do?
 
#6
Leave, and leave fast! Yes, to them you'll be a jerk as they probably don't even realize anything is wrong, but bad reputations are hard to shake, and when the gigs dry up and no bands are even interested in you, you'll wish you left earlier.
 
#7
Call them right now and tell them you are out. Don't explain, don't give them time for rebuttal. In a similar situation I went with something like, "this situation isn't working for me, I am leaving the band as of this phone call, I will not be available for future gigs, best of luck to you" and then hang up.

Be done.
 
#8
Normally on work of *any* type -- musician or otherwise -- I strongly recommend at least giving notice and staying with it until that time is up. It's the decent thing, and your reputation is at stake.

But... these guys have a true appetite for self-destruction. Go with your gut if it says drop out immediately.

Good luck,
-- Joe
 
#9
I know you're ticked, but be the pro; give them notice - you're out after Friday's gig. Have all your gear packed up and out of your practice area before that show. Don't leave your drink(s) unattended and have fun one last time - if you can. Invite some good friends to the show to assist you in loading-out, this will help you out at the end of the night and reduce the chance of any confrontation with the other guys in the band.
 
#11
"Normally on work of *any* type -- musician or otherwise -- I strongly recommend at least giving notice and staying with it until that time is up. It's the decent thing, and your reputation is at stake"

i think my rep is pretty good right now. my main band is doing very good & i am still subbing for a bunch of bands that want me to join. so i think this band may end up hurting me more by staying in it. we looked so bad on stage this weekend, & i forgot to mention they decided to play Dear Prudence mid set. i have never played the tune & i was told to "watch my hands". luckily it is not that hard a tune but i did drop out on a chorus or two just so i wouldn't train wreck the darn thing.
 
#13
Your wasting YOUR reputation. QUIT NOW! How are you ever going to get a gig after being associated with those losers? The people paying for those terrible gigs WILL REMEMBER and probably be thinking twice when you walk in the door looking for a gig.
 
#14
shadowmac said:
I know you're ticked, but be the pro; give them notice - you're out after Friday's gig. Have all your gear packed up and out of your practice area before that show. Don't leave your drink(s) unattended and have fun one last time - if you can. Invite some good friends to the show to assist you in loading-out, this will help you out at the end of the night and reduce the chance of any confrontation with the other guys in the band.
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Shadowmac has got the right idea, but I would suggest you take your own refreshments and keep it capped.
 
#16
If their indujences effected the gig negatively as you stated, then I'd use that as my reason and tell them today that you're done and best of luck. Keep it direct, short, sweet and non-argumentative on your end. Expect an attempt to be negative or argumentative from them, but just ignore it and move on.
 
#17
whitedk57 said:
Just text them 5 minutes before you're supposed to be there on Friday and tell them you quit. They weren't being nice to you by leaving you to speak with that bar owner on your own.
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I don't think this is the good or right way to go, although they don't seem like they deserve much better.

countrybass007 said:
I do the responsible thing and play the Friday gig and then tell them you're done. It sounds like you're the only responsible member in this band, and I would have left after the 2 hour late start on the Sat. gig. Sounds like you found the "wrong" musicians. Good luck on your next musical adventure, and may it be much better.
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Although this is a respectable and admirable way to do things, these guys aren't worth going that far.

I think the answer lies somewhere between these two extremes. It's only Monday. Quit now, and don't look back. These guys are totally unprofessional. Give a good explanation about why you want out. Don't get personal or emotional.
 
#18
It's obvious they have no respect for you, the clubs you play or even themselves. I'd let them know as soon as possible that you will play Friday but they should look for an immediate replacement. Any messing with your drinks, and you'll be getting the police involved. Keep it professional, but be firm and direct about it.
 

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