I had posted this last year, and it got a lot of feedback and approval, so I figured I should share it with the whole group instead of just one thread...
My jazz band instructor sat me down before our final concert and we had a small convo about this.
Teach-"So Alan, do you have a girlfriend?"
Me----"Well yeah, she's awesome"
Teach-"Do you talk to her on the phone often?"
Me----"Of course" (pre cell phone days)
Teach-"Well, when you two talk on the phone, do you make sure to let her know everything you have done for the past few years? Do you dump all that info on her without any regard for what she wants to hear or if its pertinent to the conversation?"
Me----"No way, she'd get sick of me in less than a minute"
Teach-"So it stands to reason, the best way to navigate through a song, whether it be a backbeat or a solo, is to just bring out what is called for, in order to keep the listener interested, but not bored. Make sense?"
Me----"....Damn, you just laid some wisdom on me"
Teach-"Watch your mouth"
This is the greatest philosophy to drop on any drummer.