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Am I a terrible person for this?

What should I do?

  • Put up with it

    Votes: 3 1.2%

  • Say something and risk being unpopular

    Votes: 224 89.2%

  • Find another band

    Votes: 24 9.6%
  • Total voters
    251
#43
One more vote for "if they're good blokes, talk to them".
Be reasonable, explain *how* this is difficult for you (not simply that it is) and try to figure out something that can work out.
 
#45
Well... I messaged them and was very pleasant - I said I have no problem with the kids, but to have them running around me and bumping into me when I'm playing, and the noise, aren't something I can deal with easily.

And one of the band members messaged back and said he has no problem with them at all, and he was thinking of starting to bring his kids as well. (ages 6 and 4).

Awesome. 2 steps back, anyone?
 
#46
Evil Undead said:
Well... I messaged them and was very pleasant - I said I have no problem with the kids, but to have them running around me and bumping into me when I'm playing, and the noise, aren't something I can deal with easily.

And one of the band members messaged back and said he has no problem with them at all, and he was thinking of starting to bring his kids as well. (ages 6 and 4).

Awesome. 2 steps back, anyone?
Click to expand...
reassert yourself, tell them that YOU have a problem with the kids. be straight and tell him they annoy you. if the band doesnt like it then you know your next move.

btw i take it you dont have any kids?
 
#48
Evil Undead said:
Well... I messaged them and was very pleasant - I said I have no problem with the kids, but to have them running around me and bumping into me when I'm playing, and the noise, aren't something I can deal with easily.

And one of the band members messaged back and said he has no problem with them at all, and he was thinking of starting to bring his kids as well. (ages 6 and 4).

Awesome. 2 steps back, anyone?
Click to expand...

BTW where are you guys practicing?
 
#49
It's an old warehouse. Also not the safest place for little kids. There's electrical stuff everywhere, cab stacks, wires, parts of the ceiling have half fallen in etc.

I don't have kids, can barely cope with myself most of the time lol
 
#51
Munjibunga said:
I would tell the kids directly to cool their jets. I do it all the time when kids are behaving poorly around me. If the parents take issue (which they seldom do), I ask them to control the kids.
Click to expand...

#1! I follow pretty much the same strategy when dealing the children of certain friends, relatives, and yes even strangers at times.
One can do it calmly yet firmly. It's saying nothing, that leads to feelings of ill will, especially if it's the children of folks you'll be having somewhat
regular contact with that are driving you nuts.
 
#52
(Speaking as a parent) Parents have responsibility to teach their kids how to behave in public, and kids six and eight years old are absolutely able to learn this. Be polite but firm that if the kids come, they have to behave in a way that will allow you guys to play properly.

Part 2 to that is that a six year old and an eight year old will not sit quietly for two hours (unless there's a TV in the room). You'll have to accept that no matter what, there will be more background noise and distractions than at a normal rehearsal. But it needn't be unmanageable.

What you need to do, if the kids being there is a given, is to plan activities for them to do - several of them, to accommodate short attention spans. Their parents should bring a bag with some books, crayons, toys, etc. (If they don't, Uncle Evil Undead can bring "presents" for them - this stuff is pretty cheap). I suspect part of it is that the kids really want to be doing what the grown-ups are doing; you might try getting them some toy or kid-sized instruments (a toy mic, bongoes, whatever) and lay it down very firmly that THESE are the kid instruments and THOSE are the grown-up instruments. Let them bang and sing away on one side while you play.

Finally, plan "family breaks" in the rehearsal, probably ever twenty minutes to half-hour, so the parents can give the kids some undivided attention for five minutes and "reset" them.

Any parents who have any kind of grip on their families should be able to make this work. If they can't, time for another band.
 
#53
hrodbert696 offered some pretty sound advice. Kids need to have something to occupy their time, if not they get bored and start getting rowdy, kind of like the rest of us.:D

Also, just a thought, you mentioned possibly gigging with these folks someday. Apples do not roll far from the tree, in my years of working with families, sometimes a lack of discipline in the children a symptom of a lack of discipline in the parent.
 
#55
I don't understand why these guys have to bring their kids to practice. Don't they have wives/girlfriends that can watch them for the few hours your are practicing? Perhaps just pay the older kids to watch the younger ones somewhere else?

It's a big pet peeve of mine, personally. I don't like kids at practice. Usually they don't even want to be there, especially if they're younger. Then the parents have to take a break every few minutes to check on the kid or get them to behave. It just leads to things being unproductive.

If they are running all over and bumping into you, they are just being disrespectful. Are the parents that dense that they don't understand that?
 
#56
Reason why parents would is that mom can then use this time to do something else.

REmember only an idiot musican calls it "work" (and yes -- most of my kid's college was paid from gig money)..

Most mom's think of it as the partridge family - not a band.... from mom's persepctive - why not bring the kid.

=====

I bring my baby to practice and other meetings. The other folks know about her..

Running terror kids - would be at hojme (or I would be)
 
#57
Evil Undead said:
Well... I messaged them and was very pleasant - I said I have no problem with the kids, but to have them running around me and bumping into me when I'm playing, and the noise, aren't something I can deal with easily.

And one of the band members messaged back and said he has no problem with them at all, and he was thinking of starting to bring his kids as well. (ages 6 and 4).

Awesome. 2 steps back, anyone?
Click to expand...

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

If you're serious about music, being taken seriously, getting booked, and performing a few great sets in public, it's time to start looking elsewhere.

A band that rehearses in the middle of a day care isn't going anywhere any time soon.
 
#60
Or maybe you could come off a little less harsh by asking if we could get together and brainstorm a way to keep the kids occupied. Even the parents themselves don't like them bugging and being in the way, but a parent would'nt ever tell you that their own kids get on their nerves. Besides that, parents have a way of tuning out their own kids, it's called a "coping mechanism" for dealing with little brats.

Maybe someone has a tv or computer sitting around that's not getting used, plug in a game, give them a few snacks, and a few drinks and let them have at it. Maybe even a DVD, or VCR with cartoons. Find out what they like to watch, and have someone download and burn a DVD with that kind of crap on it. Maybe even dig out some old board games you left at your parents house when you moved out and let them play with them.

I play jam sessions all the time with my 6 yo there, but we also have a tv with kids shows. He gets to sit on a bar stool and drink, and think he's cool as hell the whole time.
 

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