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Am I just a total jerk or something?
- Thread starter CapnSev
- Start date
- Status
How it the money from gigs divided? Equal shares or what?
Since one guy is booking 90% of the gigs and doing all the management stuff, basically he's your boss. Take it from there.
If you complain w/o an alternative you earn negative points with him and you won't have changed a thing.
If you keep your anger internal, you'll get/have other problems because it will come out of you against something/someone else.
You can always quit and feel better because you didn't play the CHEAP gig. But what will you be giving up? IMO, a whole lot more than you'd get.
I suggest you focus your energies on things that are under your control (being the best bass player you can be, having a good time, keeping a good attitude, etc.)
You can win the battle(quit over one gig) and lose the war(future gigs).
That's life. Gottal roll with things and pick you battles over things that matter.
If playing the gig violates some principal/ethic you have, then, for sure, stand by your principles and quit. Complaining about how the gig violates you in some way and not quitting will create tension that will cause you problems later, possibly in an unrelated situation.
I suggest taking up meditation or some other form of relaxation, maybe even a chill pill might help.
Good luck.
Since one guy is booking 90% of the gigs and doing all the management stuff, basically he's your boss. Take it from there.
If you complain w/o an alternative you earn negative points with him and you won't have changed a thing.
If you keep your anger internal, you'll get/have other problems because it will come out of you against something/someone else.
You can always quit and feel better because you didn't play the CHEAP gig. But what will you be giving up? IMO, a whole lot more than you'd get.
I suggest you focus your energies on things that are under your control (being the best bass player you can be, having a good time, keeping a good attitude, etc.)
You can win the battle(quit over one gig) and lose the war(future gigs).
That's life. Gottal roll with things and pick you battles over things that matter.
If playing the gig violates some principal/ethic you have, then, for sure, stand by your principles and quit. Complaining about how the gig violates you in some way and not quitting will create tension that will cause you problems later, possibly in an unrelated situation.
I suggest taking up meditation or some other form of relaxation, maybe even a chill pill might help.
Good luck.
I think it is a power role to play, side man that is. It comes at a cost and in many cases a wanton ego will not serve you in this pursuit. Let the superstars have the light, let them have the control, let them do what they do best. Remain a servant to the music and serve with unconditional love. It will become clear that any resistance to the leader is a reflection of your own identity issues. I am content to be the sideman I chose to be and respect the lop sided ego required to be the star or boss.
As for whether the band is his, yours, or ours is also a matter of ego and matters very little.
Do you love what your doing? If so great!! if not change it. but you will find that unless you are willing to run the whole show yourself there will always be days you wish were different. IMHO
Humble is the bass players heart, humble as the cement that holds the house up.
As for whether the band is his, yours, or ours is also a matter of ego and matters very little.
Do you love what your doing? If so great!! if not change it. but you will find that unless you are willing to run the whole show yourself there will always be days you wish were different. IMHO
Humble is the bass players heart, humble as the cement that holds the house up.
Bands are like businesses. When I did concrete, my boss used to bid on jobs that were more or less a waste of time and unprofitable. However, those jobs were being contracted out by contractors who had much bigger jobs (and lots of them) they were bidding on. We would get some of those jobs too simply because we did those other cheap jobs professionally, unlike some other contractors.
All in all, it's a birthday party and sometimes you have to do the little stuff to make people happy. My guess is that you'll get paid for it later on down the line.
All in all, it's a birthday party and sometimes you have to do the little stuff to make people happy. My guess is that you'll get paid for it later on down the line.
Think of it as "paid rehearsal" and enjoy yourself. Now, if it becomes a pattern of abuse, you'll certainly want to speak up.
The fact that you're seeking a second opinion means you're no jerk, just a guy with a conscience.
Riis
The fact that you're seeking a second opinion means you're no jerk, just a guy with a conscience.
Riis
+1. Don't change.
Suck it up, play the gig and most of all, reach deep inside to find a way to have fun up there with the other five guys in the band.
but not always.....plenty of people get stuck doing the same kind of stuff forever because the boss feeds them nothing else....you really have to watch and there's no formula.....while one guy can refuse and be respected for"standing up for himself",another guy will be labled as "difficult",or "unreasonable" for the same thing.....if i've learned anything it's that life is a big popularity contest and that being diligent, hard working and willing to go the extra mile often buys you nothing more than the opportunity to keep on going the extra mile,while the hustler who never gives anything becomes your boss.....
Yeah, but he's getting good gigs outside of the one he's speaking of. I understand about sticking up for yourself and taking a stand, and I'm all for that, but he's not being used, IMO at least, to do horrible gig after horrible gig. This is just one gig on his band leader's birthday, a band leader that gets him well paying gigs. I don't see this as him allowing himself to be a pushover. I see this as a chance to show his band leader that he appreciates all the bigger gigs that he gets him.
There are worse things to do on a weekend then play a gig with a band you enjoy. If the guy has a big ego etc, but a good nose for business, it doesn't sound like he is doing this for any other reason than to play "his" bar on his B-day. I understand my position on this instance is less valid as I am not a pro musician and I understand that those who get paid for this have a very different approach by necessity, but to me, heck, it's playing out. Isn't that what everyone wants to do?
Like my opinion matters, but count the blessings and keep an eye on the bar. If they're coining it then next year and every year after you can all command a worthy fee for "Steve's Birthday Bash at the Dive"
Yeah I'd just chalk it up as my birthday gift to him, keep my mouth shut, play the party, and enjoy the other 51 weekends a year that he provides me with paying gigs.
I understand this is more a business than a band, but do you guys not hang out outside of the band? Do you not like the guy at all? I don't know, it's your call.
I understand this is more a business than a band, but do you guys not hang out outside of the band? Do you not like the guy at all? I don't know, it's your call.
Even if the dude has an ego, I agree with most of the people on this thread.
He's done a lot of work getting the band gigs, and good ones at that. I think a gig at his favorite bar sounds fair. As long as, besides this, he keeps getting you well-paying gigs, sounds good to me.
He's done a lot of work getting the band gigs, and good ones at that. I think a gig at his favorite bar sounds fair. As long as, besides this, he keeps getting you well-paying gigs, sounds good to me.
Lead Singer Syndrome -- it's everywhere.
sometimes you either have to suck it up and go along with them and their massive egos, or find a new band.
sometimes you either have to suck it up and go along with them and their massive egos, or find a new band.
++1
Not only that..didn't you say you had "fun"..or enjoyed playing with these guys anyway...?
I think it's great to do someones birthday-bash..or bar b q ...no pressure gigs.
I've done a million gigs in sucky bars for low pay back in the day(and come a long way)So I don't mind 1 every now and again...kinda gives me a sorta perspective..
Or just Look at it like a practice.
Usually ,the bands that I'm in (or, end up in
), we kinda become freinds and don't mind hangin out /havin fun once in a while..even if we aint gettin paid.Just my .04
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