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Am I just a total jerk or something?

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CapnSev

CapnSev

Aug 19, 2006
5,756
2,145
Coeur d'Alene
#1
So I'm playing in an an old-school, 7-piece soul/r&b band for my main gig right now, which is 98% covers. The band is strictly a no-nonsense, business, for-profit, party band. We're just 7 guys that get a really good time out of playing music to entertain people, and make some cash on the side. Typically we do weddings, parties, events, and some bar gigs. I would say that we're a really professional band, and we don't take gigs that aren't worth it either money-wise, or cause-wise.

Here's the issue: The guy that fronts the band does all the business work: booking, contracts, negotiating money, advertising, etc. He's awesome at it. His downside is that he has a pretty abrasive personality, and likes complete control of the band (most of the song list, arrangement, etc.) That bothers me a little bit, but if he keeps finding me good gigs, then I really don't care, because its fun and the payout is good.

The problem is that has booked a gig on his birthday at a really, really crappy bar that pays nothing, and he knows it. He wants to play the gig because it is his favorite bar, and he wants to show off "his" band to his buddies.

I am pretty pissed about it. The way I see it is that I'm more or less a hired gun, and he wants me to miss a perfectly good weekend to do something more worthwhile with my time. I'd really like to rip him a new one at the next rehearsal, but at the same time, it's probably not that big of a deal and I should just roll with it.

So what do you guys think? Am I just a callous and greedy a-hole for not wanting to do the gig, or should I let this dude just have his little birthday thing in peace?
 
#8
Whatever your feelings are, TELL HIM! Otherwise you'll use this as a foundation, continuing to build resentment towards the dude and quit having fun altogether!

The proverbial rock and a hard place, Good-luck!

X8
 
#9
CapnSev said:
I am pretty pissed about it. The way I see it is that I'm more or less a hired gun, and he wants me to miss a perfectly good weekend to do something more worthwhile with my time. I'd really like to rip him a new one at the next rehearsal, but at the same time, it's probably not that big of a deal and I should just roll with it.
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If you're mainly a hired gun, then he's your customer. It's not unusual to do a favor for one of your good, steady customers. Actually, it's good business. It's not that different for me to do a free setup for a customer who has bought a few basses from me. Sure, I there's other things I could do with my time, but I value the person's business, so I'm going to do so, happily.
 
#10
sobie18 said:
Is it Burt's Tiki Lounge?

I used to LOVE going there and jamming with Zach Parrish in the old days....
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Ha! Yeah, Burt's is a real piece of crap, but we're not playing there. I see Zach around a lot though.

You could ask if he'd be willing to do the same for other band members.
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I can almost guarantee the he wouldn't. The dude's ego is so big, I don't know why he doesn't float away.


In reality though. I'll probably just grit my teeth and shut up, even though I hate the idea.
 
#11
I can't say you're being a jerk, I understand your position, but would it really hurt to let him have this one gig, especially on his birthday? As long as he doesn't make a habit of this kind of thing, what's it gonna hurt?
 
#13
I say play the gig out of good will toward the guy who does such a great job getting gigs and taking care of business. That said, if it bugs you (and it sounds like you have good reason) let him know that you're willing to play the occasional low-paying gig, but he shouldn't get used to it if he wants to keep your services.
 
#14
In my band, we have an informal policy where everyone gets a "freebie", where the band will play at a reduced rate or free, depending on the situation, for family parties, charity, etc. In my 3 or so years with the band, those have only been cashed in two or three times.

I say play the gig.
 
#16
I'd just roll with it. If you have do 1 crappy gig for every 20 or 30 good ones, it's no big deal. You never know- there might be someone in the audience that hires you guys for good bread down the road- it's happened to me like that on several occasions.
 
#17
Are you a hired gun or are you in a band with him, not in his band?

If your in his band, suck it up. But tell him that if your going to be playing like a session musician, you better be payed like one, that means payed same wage no matter what gig, and payed during rehearsals.

If you're in a band together, let him know that it is not his band, play the gig but let him know this isn't his show and tell project.
 
#19
CapnSev said:
So what do you guys think? Am I just a callous and greedy a-hole for not wanting to do the gig, or should I let this dude just have his little birthday thing in peace?
Click to expand...

When the owner/operator/leader in my band does something I consider to be a little too ego-centric and not very band-centric, I get irritated as well. I think it's natural.

Does any other member in the band feel like you do? If you can get a second or third opinion that self-gratuitous gigs for little money are not cool, that might give him something to think about next time.

Meanwhile, it looks like you will have to roll with the birthday party. But you and other band members don't have to pretend it's all good.
 
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