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Am I unusual for expecting people to communicate efficiently?

BassyBill

BassyBill

Gold Supporting Member
In Memoriam
Mar 12, 2005
18,174
4,621
West Midlands UK
#1
Fro some time now - and particularly this last month or so - I've been getting more and more irritated by band members or subs who don't respond to messages promptly. I'm talking about basic messages concerning who's on gigs, when we're meeting up, who has to bring what. Not just idle chatter.

I've been trying email, texts, Facebook and still getting nowhere with some people, until the last possible minute. How can people be so damned hopeless at replying? They want the gigs, after all. It really pisses me off, as to me this is a simple matter of professionalism and courtesy. Maybe they just haven't had the education in the business that I have (thanks, Dad).

Am I alone in this, or do you guys get what I'm saying?
 
#2
Im with you on this! Our bandleader has problems getting responses from everyone in the band. Recently I had the same problem.

I was contacted on a Tuesday, about whether or not we could play that Saturday. I sent out a text, being that I was at work, and we often communicate this way, to everyone asking if they were available. Within the hour, 3 out of 4 people responded saying yes. All but our drummer. Protocol in this situation would dictate that he is available, as bandleader said "no response = no problems" basically. Come Thursday, drummer says "what gig? I didnt say I could play any gig" at which point everyone thouroughly lambasts him for not saying so 2 days prior, and now we're comitted.
 
#4
IbanezBass69 said:
I HATE when people don't get back to me promptly. I understand people get busy and all, but I shouldn't have to wait days for you to type back a simple "yes" that doesn't even fully answer the question half the time. One of my pet peeves.
Click to expand...
That's also something that gets to me - you send a message asking clearly about one or more aspects, and people send a uselessly hasty reply that's either ambiguous or incomplete. Sheer bone idle laziness. We're all busy, but how long does it take to type/text six words instead of three?
 
#6
Bill

You are not alone on this, it irritates me no end.

If we get a gig inquiry the normal procedure is to put an email out to check other members availability then get back to confirm ASAP. 99% of the time all 4 us are available but we have to check just in case.

3 of us a pretty prompt and return an email within a few hours. The drummer is different, "Oh didn't I send one", "I haven't check my emails recently" etc. The only way to get answer is to hope he has got mobile with him and switched on and try phoning him after work. He has a home phone but he is never there (new girlfriend so he is somewhat preoccupied but he wasn't much better before).
 
#7
You're not alone in that, at all. Further, efficiency in communication covers a lot of ground, not just timeliness of response. Quality of response can be a real problem too..... We have a lot of issues around people not answering the question that was actually asked....
 
#9
It looks like it's a drummer thing! ...at least it is in my world. :) Seriously though, this can be a big problem. There's really no excuse in today's instant communication environment. I think some people have reacted to today's easy communication technology by being even more casual about it than in the past.
 
#10
Is it just me, or does it seem the more connected people get by modern technology, the less they actually communicate?

I know this all too well. I am playing with this guitarrist, and though most of our communication is done via my drummer's mobile phone and text messages (I still have no cellphone myself) - he never even replied ONCE to my mails.

In my ohter band, the guys are all in their 40ies and 50ies, and there is no problem with e-mail, they mail around happily and promptly reply, even if it borders redundant. I like that better though. Maybe it's a generational thing?

/rant

:)
 
#11
ChrisB2 said:
I don't know about all that, but it's cool seeing a mod using profanity.

(Note to self: "Damn" and "piss" are okee dokee.)
Click to expand...
Clarification: On TB, we work on the prime time TV rule, and neither of those would really raise an eyebrow here in England. My apologies if this is not the case where you are. As the filter hasn't caught them, I think these words are PROBABLY considered very mild - but if you have a concern, please report my post and the other mods will discuss the content. :)
 
#15
hdracer said:
You could always try calling them.
That always works with me,
Click to expand...

If they cant respond with a simple "yes" or "no" why should I expect them to pick up the phone when I call? Not to mention that I can text all 4 other band members the same message at the same time. I dont have time, while at work, which happens to be when most of these communication needs arise, to make 4 seperate phonecalls.
 
#17
There were times when I was tempted to start a thread like this, myself! I find it unbelievably frustrating. In fact, back when I was auditioning prospective drummers, this kind of thing was part of my criteria for deciding if the person even warranted an audition. Skill level and experience are essential, but maturity, organization, and professionalism are equally so, IMO. It’s not worth the hassle to try and work with someone who doesn’t get it.

Having said that, I’m only in one band. I’m not in multiple ensembles with different players. I suppose if I were, I’d have to expect this to some extent <shudder>. Actually, when I first started putting this band together, I was shocked – shocked! – at how flaky so many musicians are when it comes to basic communication. And I come from a background in acting! But in fact, actors are generally pretty good about getting back to you, IME. I’m amazed that some musicians manage to make it through a day, let alone get to play out anywhere. I’m sure everyone here relates. The only nice thing is, it really makes you appreciate the folks that do get it!
 
#18
A band member who doesn't respond within a reasonable time frame is simply narcissistic. Do this to me once and I drop you like a hot rock. If someone calls me to cancel/explain/whatever, I have no problem with that.

Though i think it is a generational thing to some degree. I'm 23, with whom I have dealt with; Generation Y= Spoon-fed, weak, use many tools for communication, can't use one tool properly.
Baby Boomers= Much more professional, fewer communicative tools, but use what they have very well.
 
#19
Oh man - don't get me started! One of my band leaders is hopeless at responding to emails - it's as if he's not the band leader and is just along for the ride. One of the last emails I sent asked what the best way to contact him was (a topic we'd already discussed months ago), since the emailing didn't seem to be working. Guess what? No response! To me this is basic stuff. If email isn't going to be the primary medium used for communication that's fine, but give me an alternative and be bloody responsible! Honestly, when a band leader can't take care of such a minor detail it makes me wonder what else isn't being taken care of...
 
#20
Seems that some kind of monetary penalty for untimely replies should be voted on by the band members. If someone is costing you gigs or creating a problem in locking one down, he/she should be fined.

There's no excuse for not replying, especially if you ask everyone before hand what their preferred method of contact is and you use it.

You could add to your text/email/etc "Reply needed within 3 hours" or whatever time frame is required.
 

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