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Am I wrong

#42
iriegnome said:
Update-Contacted said cousin and told him to not contact my children without my consent. He laughed and said he will not listen to foolish words from a foolish little man. Sorry. I think I am going to have to look into filing a restraining order to ensure a stop of all communication to protect my kids...
No he has not communicated with my other daughter or my son
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Yep, that clinches it. Your instincts were right. If he were on the level he'd have said he was sorry, didn't mean any harm, hope you're not too upset with him for ill-advised phrasing. But this response is out of bounds.
 
#43
iriegnome said:
mcnach - I completely understand. My daughters and my son are all are completely aware of what is going on. I let them know every thing I do when it involves them. I discuss it with them and find out their opinions and thoughts as to how they want to proceed with most everything. If my kids think one way and I feel differently, we talk about the reasons and come to solutions. However, since I am their parent, I do make the final decisions, but I always keep their wishes in mind.
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Sounds like they have a good father. Have you figured out what you're going to do regarding your ex-wife (which I assume is your daughter's blood mother)?
 
#44
iriegnome said:
mcnach - I completely understand. My daughters and my son are all are completely aware of what is going on. I let them know every thing I do when it involves them. I discuss it with them and find out their opinions and thoughts as to how they want to proceed with most everything. If my kids think one way and I feel differently, we talk about the reasons and come to solutions. However, since I am their parent, I do make the final decisions, but I always keep their wishes in mind.
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I've said this a few times in this thread, but I'll say it again...

You're doing it right.
 
#46
iriegnome said:
mcnach - I completely understand. My daughters and my son are all are completely aware of what is going on. I let them know every thing I do when it involves them. I discuss it with them and find out their opinions and thoughts as to how they want to proceed with most everything. If my kids think one way and I feel differently, we talk about the reasons and come to solutions. However, since I am their parent, I do make the final decisions, but I always keep their wishes in mind.
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I'm interested in your daughter's take on all this.
 
#49
Having a bipolar uncle, I'm gonna have to say my opinion.

OP is painting a picture, who knows if it's right.

At the very least you had your decision made up before the thread was even started.

Without your wife involved it's just as conceivable that your overreacting/misquoting.

There's no way to know which is why I wouldn't necessarily looking for reassurance on the issue, we can only confirm based on what OP is feeding us.

I say all this because I'm sure if my bipolar uncle had his way, all of his wifes family would be barred from contacting my cousins.

To be more to the point my cousins are very close with a lot of relatives due to the sympathy that they get under the radar of my uncle.
 
#50
MuinXing said:
Having a bipolar uncle, I'm gonna have to say my opinion.

OP is painting a picture, who knows if it's right.

At the very least you had your decision made up before the thread was even started.

Without your wife involved it's just as conceivable that your overreacting/misquoting.

There's no way to know which is why I wouldn't necessarily looking for reassurance on the issue, we can only confirm based on what OP is feeding us.

I say all this because I'm sure if my bipolar uncle had his way, all of his wifes family would be barred from contacting my cousins.

To be more to the point my cousins are very close with a lot of relatives due to the sympathy that they get under the radar of my uncle.
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Maybe, but all we can react to in any thread is the information that we're given. It's just an internet forum, after all, not a court of law. I consider "assuming we've been given accurate information..." to be a given in any response here.
 
#51
iriegnome said:
She has read the e-mails and the posts. She finds them creepy and disturbing. She said that it sounded like something a husband would say to a wife...
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The fact that his communication makes your daughter feel uncomfortable is enough to justify action on your part. His actions (as previously described in this thread) are enough to justify legal action to ensure your daughter's safety.

Furthermore, make sure your daughter has an open channel of communication with you when she is with her mom. From what you've described, her mom may enable further communication from your cousin.
 
#52
MuinXing said:
Having a bipolar uncle, I'm gonna have to say my opinion.

OP is painting a picture, who knows if it's right.

At the very least you had your decision made up before the thread was even started.

Without your wife involved it's just as conceivable that your overreacting/misquoting.

There's no way to know which is why I wouldn't necessarily looking for reassurance on the issue, we can only confirm based on what OP is feeding us.

I say all this because I'm sure if my bipolar uncle had his way, all of his wifes family would be barred from contacting my cousins.

To be more to the point my cousins are very close with a lot of relatives due to the sympathy that they get under the radar of my uncle.
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You have to assume people here are telling the truth (or what's the point?). He asked the guy to stop contacting his daughter - that should be the end of it.

I understand your point in regards to infighting in families, and I might agree if we were talking about an adult, but she's fourteen. If a parent tells anyone to leave their fourteen year old daughter alone, they better leave them alone. The fact that the daughter wants nothing to do with him makes it even worse, but it's moot when you're talking about a minor.
 
#53
iriegnome said:
But you are not posting that on a social media site and if you don't talk to him, you are not calling parents and relatives to find them.. See that is where it goes far beyond normal and goes way off the deep end.
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Yes, this is odd. He hasn't contacted you directly? Did you have a strained relationship prior to this? Like someone said: his trying to go behind your back is very troubling.
 
#54
iriegnome said:
Well, I went to family court and filed a "No Contact" order. Sort of the same as a Restraining order, but without the intent of violence. I don't think it will turn violent, but by his responses to my telling him not to contact my daughters, I felt I was left with no choice. Unfortunately, he has the money to fly here and fight the order which I think just proves my issue with him contacting my 14 year old
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I'm sure you already have, but be sure your daughter is also on high alert and is able to contact you immediately.
 
#55
iriegnome said:
Well, I went to family court and filed a "No Contact" order. Sort of the same as a Restraining order, but without the intent of violence. I don't think it will turn violent, but by his responses to my telling him not to contact my daughters, I felt I was left with no choice. Unfortunately, he has the money to fly here and fight the order which I think just proves my issue with him contacting my 14 year old
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It shouldn't come to that. It would be kind of ridiculous if he did, imo. Like I was saying, just don't put him in the picture. Just keep your bases covered from your side and leave him be. No need to antagonize the guy or invite him into your life, especially if he really is that weird.
 
#56
hrodbert696 said:
Maybe, but all we can react to in any thread is the information that we're given. It's just an internet forum, after all, not a court of law. I consider "assuming we've been given accurate information..." to be a given in any response here.
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There's nothing wrong with questioning a story that's being told. Everyone puts their spin on a story and it doesn't mean they are trying to mislead or lie.
 
#57
When I first read this I thought "If he was the child's uncle and they were close, then the comment that was posted wouldn't seem as inappropriate". But given what you've said and done, I agree with it. Obviously by basically telling you that your authority as her father doesn't matter proves that something is wrong with him.

You mentioned that he has the money to fly there and fight it. Are you just saying that if he wanted to he has the means or has he threatened it?
 

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