it's okay. mine was after a long day of dealing with mother medical issues and some tequila.
the never being good enough for yourself is a real issue (which is another type of "failure," perhaps).
but, i once learned a lot from reading a john lennon interview in playboy. they went through about 10-12 tunes that the beatles did and asked him his opinion on them. some of these are arguably *classic tunes*. a lot of response was, eh, C+, B-, etc., and "we almost go what we wanted."
sonny rollins in an interview not too long ago basically said he thought he played as well as he wanted to on only a handful of gigs.
my takeaway from both is that it'll probably *never* be good enough for yourself—do it anyway. you're always gonna know that you can do better—especially based on what you learned from the project you just finished.
show 'em how it's done.
but seriously, imo, if you have a different way to do things, put it out there.
in my world there is a *lot* of crap (or stuff i think is . . . and i probably fit right in).
yet you go out and do performances . . . not sure what the difference is, other than one is in the air and goes away and one is "permanent" . . .
there is something odd about even performing for people—"look at me! i'm cool!" but i still do it.
when is the cooking gonna be "done" . . . after you're dead? you can undercook and you can overcook . . . you only know when you serve it and it gets eaten.
dunno.
for a long time, i thought you had to be a god to put out a recording . . . i got over that, but it still lingers.
the community aspect of things is strong. that's probably the worst aspect of the lockdown for me—i can't go hang with my "tribe" at gigs of like-minded folks.
it's also worth noting that recorded documents in the age of the internet might perform as long-distance performances that people in different parts of the world can listen and enjoy. and with live performance being off the table for the foreseeable future, it may be what you can do.
as you mention, we've met all these fellow travelers here.
i also think it's useful to remember situations where writers and painters would get together and talk about their work and show it, as it helped them grow.
all written with only caffeine as the mid-altering substance.