I have a few memorable salesmen comments from the same store. I actually never shop there now because the salesmen are so annoying and treat people like idiots.
1) I was looking for a set of DR HI-Beams but this store was out of stock. I asked the salesman if he had any other stainless steel bass strings I could try (I'm allergic to nickel). The response I got was, "stainless steel bass strings?!?!?" like I was from the moon and stainless steel bass strings were my magic alien moon dust.
2) Another time, a different salesman said I should use a 130 and not a 125 low B string set of DR HI-Beams because a 125 would not produce the low B properly.
3) Another time, the same salesman in #1 thought I was from the moon again because I didn't use a 4x10 cab. He said "12-inch speakers for bass?!?!?".
4) Salesman: "You have to try this new custom bass we just got in! It's amazing!"
Me: "What kind of bass is it?"
Salesman: "Oh, I don't know. I think it starts with an 's' but it's really amazing. It cost like $3000!"
Me: "Is it a Spector bass?"
Salesman: "NO!!!! It's way better than a Spector bass!!!!"
The last comment really baffled me because Spectors are excellent instruments and this store sells Spectors.
5) A salesman in a different store always told me it was impossible to order a bass, or it would take years for it to arrive. Did this guy not want business or commission? I went up to a different salesman, ordered the bass in a matter of minutes, and it arrived a few weeks later. Every time I was in this store, the first salesman would always be loitering in the guitar section, sometimes playing a guitar, and never helping people, even if they asked. The funny thing is he wasn't working there very long.
1) I was looking for a set of DR HI-Beams but this store was out of stock. I asked the salesman if he had any other stainless steel bass strings I could try (I'm allergic to nickel). The response I got was, "stainless steel bass strings?!?!?" like I was from the moon and stainless steel bass strings were my magic alien moon dust.
2) Another time, a different salesman said I should use a 130 and not a 125 low B string set of DR HI-Beams because a 125 would not produce the low B properly.
3) Another time, the same salesman in #1 thought I was from the moon again because I didn't use a 4x10 cab. He said "12-inch speakers for bass?!?!?".
4) Salesman: "You have to try this new custom bass we just got in! It's amazing!"
Me: "What kind of bass is it?"
Salesman: "Oh, I don't know. I think it starts with an 's' but it's really amazing. It cost like $3000!"
Me: "Is it a Spector bass?"
Salesman: "NO!!!! It's way better than a Spector bass!!!!"
The last comment really baffled me because Spectors are excellent instruments and this store sells Spectors.
5) A salesman in a different store always told me it was impossible to order a bass, or it would take years for it to arrive. Did this guy not want business or commission? I went up to a different salesman, ordered the bass in a matter of minutes, and it arrived a few weeks later. Every time I was in this store, the first salesman would always be loitering in the guitar section, sometimes playing a guitar, and never helping people, even if they asked. The funny thing is he wasn't working there very long.
He goes ON for like a solid 5 minutes about how awesome it is with so much poser-level technobabble it was hilarious. (The energy more than his words). The other guys are noticably trying to play this off from their parts of the store with looks to me and my son. Dude tells me he has the perfect track for me to hear a sample. (Get me out of here!) He hits play and there's NOTHING. He turns it ON and hits play. NOTHING. He plugs it in, turns it on, hits play and it sounds like cats dying in a dryer while rocks are being sifted through....you get the idea. He has me stand there for a whole minute while he has me parse the output according to various aspects: volume, tone etc and he's grinning/bragging it up the whole time. The ending was so totally awkard it was killing me.
Today, I've been driving around most of Summit County, Ohio, in search of creme-colored jazz bass pick-up covers. First, I went to Guitar Center (no dice...or covers), and decided, on my way home from dropping off a friend to stop by a nearby small shop. Now, for those of you that live in the area, this is an extremely advertised (and sadly, overrated) small business that doesn't carry a whole lot of name-brand products. I used to go here every once in awhile when I was younger and just starting out on bass, and have been more than unhappy with what they have sold my family (i.e. a starter drum-set that practically self-destructs after 2 months and strings that break after you restring your guitar), but nevertheless, I chose to see if they had what I was desperately looking for. 
So I snaked around through the many pianos until a older black gentleman walked in, as the shop owner continued to yell at the man on the other line. Eventually, he hung up to attend to us. The older gentleman let the man know (while retaining a much understood disgusted look on his face) that I was here first. Before I could even start, the guy, who sported a silver tooth, began explaining to us that the guy on the phone is from the "West Side" and doesn't get along with us on the "East"...blah blah, all this territorial-gang crap...this thug was old enough to be my dad (I'm 19). Then, me still, simply wanting to know if they have any pick-up covers in stock, is now listening to this guy talk about Transformers, because of my shirt, explaining the whole plot to the trilogy, and then asks for a fist-bump and a ghetto handshake. FINALLY! I get the chance to ask him...and he says that he can make them for me...
and says he knows a thing or two about carpentry because, "I'm a Carpenter, not like a German carpenter, but one that works with wood." Pick-up covers are made of plastic. He asks what kind of bass it's for. I tell him for a jazz bass.
