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Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by MrDOS, Feb 14, 2013.
Sorry - dyslexia settin' in
Came close, once...
Not yet, but I have wanted to several times. If I ever do, I am going to call it "the Diva Torch."
No I have not. But you do deserve some kind of TB bonus points for funniest thread title ever!
I definitely gave one a burning of the ears once, by e-mail, and that was it for that band. I regret it though. In hindsight, I would rather have done it amicably.
No, but I knocked one down with a spinning headstock to the back of the head! Almost as satisfying...
Once, when I was in high school, one guy held a lighter up to
another guy's frizzy hair and a big ball of flame flared up!
They quickly patted it out. It was scary but no major damage.
Meanwhile, the teacher had missed the whole event. A couple
minutes later, she was walking down the aisle by the guy whose
hair lit up and said, "Mr. Z, were you smoking?"
No.... He couldn't outrun the lighter fluid BUT was able to dodge the lit matches I threw at him
But anybody on here who says the thought never crossed their mind is just flat out lying.
Back in the day, why do you think so many bass players volunteered to be the pyro guy?
I thought this was common knowledge.
Somebody on the set of a Pepsi commercial did it once back in the 80s...
Actually, yes. I'm not even kidding. (sigh) It was the mid 80s. I was in a metal band (I know, I know). I was the pyro guy. (sigh again) We were playing a skating rink. Flash went off just about the time the singer (BL), with very tattered jeans, propped his foot up on a monitor (you guessed it) right above my coffee can pyro.
(Mind you, I was 15 at the time. This was before the internet. I had learned how to make them from my "crazy uncle" who came back from Vietnam a little "shaken".)
All the little strings on his jeans caught on fire. He was rushed to a back room where it was revealed that he wasn't really burned all that much. He had a wireless mic that was still on. The whole time he was back there, we could all hear "I'm gonna kill that (insert my real name here)!" But when he came back out, he had the whole show must go on thing going. He walked up to me and high-fived me and counted off the next song. The thing that had really pissed him off the most is that he had to finish the show in "regular" jeans. I told him after the show (with a big grin on my face) that if he kept hounding me about my bass lines I would light him up again. Oh to have the bal......... uh...... fortitude I had back then.
Man, that hadn't crossed my mind in years. Ha!
By the way, OP. Dyslexia.... fired a band leader..... I get it. Funny.
Belongs in bass humor.
maybe Lars Ulrich has. . .
I'm about ready to gouge out the eyes of a drummer, though.....
Actually, yes I have....
I was playing in a bar in Mexico in the early 90's. Mexican liability laws being what they are (or were), the wait staff often engaged in wacky and somewhat risky behavior to get the crowd laughing. One of the gags was to take a paper napkin, attach it to a paper clip, and then surreptitiously attached it to the back belt loop of a waiter. As soon as said waiter was carrying a tray full of drinks or food, someone would surreptitiously light the napkin, and then begin shouting "Fuego! Fuego!".
By the end of our run at the club, the band members got involved and I do clearly remember me getting the BL...he was one of these who enjoyed practical jokes as long as they were not at his expense. He was not amused.
Disclaimer: in order to head off the inevitable "how could you do something so stupid and dangerous" comments, let me say that I was young and foolish, and would never endorse or participate in such actions again.
this could be said about many things from my younger days ...
My band leader sliced me with a box cutter.. Not fire, but violent just the same.... No really, we were putting the finishing touches on the drywall in our jam spot and the knife slipped and ran through my thumb...