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Milk, you are my new hero. How does this make you feel?

Like life is following its normal course.

Im with you, they look all tantalizing and stuff in their holsters

It's true that we've all faced a situation where the breasts actually looked a lot better in the bra then outside (generally you'll find the bigger they are, the truer that is...OR if they are pretty smallish and the bra made them look bigger...basically i guess only medium sized won't disappoint in or out...though it could still sag...)

What is the true best bass for metal? Or latin funk, for that matter?

For metal, anything black and spikish or angular with 5 strings.

For latin funk, a musicman made in mexico. That probably doesn't exist but maybe a knockoff is made there? As long as it looks like a musicman and that it has latin origins. Keep in mind that while i know funk and latin music, i have no real idea what latin funk is like. I'm assuming playing funk bass over latin rhythms. Sounds like a nightmare I had.