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How do you feel about the growing lactose intolerance, and, is it having an impact on you either socially or economically?

As i have stated above, i am intolerant of intolerance. I think dairy products should be forced upon those people until their intestines burst from the extra gas their own intolerance helped create. How can you trust someone who won't eat cheese or ice cream or only the lactose free kind? That's inhuman. As for the economical impact, it certainly puts less milk on the table.

Also while im at it, I think the same should also be done to gluten intolerant people. They should be forced fed gluten until they realise there's no such thing as gluten intolerance. Though if you convinced the world of that, as someone else once said, then what will white people have to complain about?
 
How much will it cost me to ship an air hurdygurdy?

An hurdy gurdy or hurdy-gurdy is a stringed instrument that produces sound by a crank-turned, rosined wheel rubbing against the strings. The wheel functions much like a violin bow, and single notes played on the instrument sound similar to those of a violin. Melodies are played on a keyboard that presses tangents — small wedges, typically made of wood — against one or more of the strings to change their pitch. Like most other acoustic stringed instruments, it has a sound board to make the vibration of the strings audible. Most hurdy gurdies have multiple drone strings, which give a constant pitch accompaniment to the melody, resulting in a sound similar to that of bagpipes. For this reason, the hurdy gurdy is often used interchangeably or along with bagpipes, particularly in French and contemporary Hungarian and Galician folk music. Many folk music festivals in Europ feature music groups with hurdy gurdy players. The most famous annual festival has been held since 1976 at Saint-Chartier in the Indre département in Central France. In 2009, it re-located nearby to the Château d'Ars at La Châtre, where it continues to take place during the week nearest July 14 (Bastille Day). The hurdy gurdy is generally thought to have originated from fiddles in either Western Europe or the Middle East (e.g. rebab) some time before the eleventh century A.D.. The first recorded reference to fiddles in Europe was in the 9th century by the Persian geographer Ibn Khurradadhbih (d. 911) describing the lira (lūrā) as a typical instrument within the Byzantine Empire. One of the earliest forms of the hurdy gurdy was the organistrum, a large instrument with a guitar-shaped body and a long neck in which the keys were set (covering one diatonic octave). The organistrum had a single melody string and two drone strings, which ran over a common bridge, and a relatively small wheel. Due to its size, the organistrum was played by two people, one of whom turned the crank while the other pulled the keys upward. Pulling keys upward is cumbersome, so only slow tunes could be played on the organistrum. The pitches on the organistrum were set according to Pythagorean temperament and the instrument was primarily used in monastic and church settings to accompany choral music. Abbot Odo of Cluny (died 942) is supposed to have written a short description of the construction of the organistrum entitled Quomodo organistrum construatur (How the Organistrum Is Made), known through a much later copy, but its authenticity is very doubtful. Another 10th century treatise thought to have mentioned an instrument like a hurdy gurdy is an Arabic musical compendium written by Al Zirikli. of two musicians playing an organistrum. Later on, the organistrum was made smaller to let a single player both turn the crank and work the keys. The solo organistrum was known from Spain and France, but was largely replaced by the symphonia, a small box-shaped version of the hurdy gurdy with three strings and a diatonic keyboard. At about the same time, a new form of key pressed from beneath was developed. These keys were much more practical for faster music and easier to handle; eventually they completely replaced keys pulled up from above. Medieval depictions of the symphonia show both types of keys. During the Renaissance, the hurdy gurdy was a very popular instrument (along with the bagpipe) and the characteristic form had a short neck and a boxy body with a curved tail end. It was around this time that buzzing bridges first appeared in illustrations. The buzzing bridge (commonly called the dog) is an asymmetrical bridge that rests under a drone string on the sound board. When the wheel is accelerated, one foot of the bridge lifts from the soundboard and vibrates, creating a buzzing sound. The buzzing bridge is thought to have been borrowed from the tromba marina (monochord), a bowed string instrument. During the late Renaissance, two characteristic shapes of hurdy gurdies developed. The first was guitar-shaped and the second had a rounded lute-type body made of staves. The lute-like body is especially characteristic of French instruments. By the end of the 17th century changing musical tastes demanded greater polyphonic capabilities than the hurdy gurdy could offer and pushed the instrument to the lowest social classes; as a result it acquired names like the German Bauernleier ‘peasant’s lyre’ and Bettlerleier ‘beggar’s lyre.’ During the 18th century, however, French Rococo tastes for rustic diversions brought the hurdy gurdy back to the attention of the upper classes, where it acquired tremendous popularity among the nobility, with famous composers writing works for the hurdy gurdy. The most famous of these is Nicolas Chédeville’s Il pastor Fido, attributed to Vivaldi. At this time the most common style of hurdy gurdy developed, the six-string vielle à roue. This instrument has two melody strings and four drones. The drone strings are tuned so that by turning them on or off, the instrument can be played in multiple keys (e.g., C and G, or G and D). During this time the hurdy gurdy also spread further east, where further variations developed in western Slavic countries, German-speaking areas and Hungary (see the list of types below for more information on them). Most types of hurdy gurdy were essentially extinct by the early twentieth century, but a few have survived. The best-known are the French vielle à roue, the Hungarian tekerőlant, and the Spanish zanfona. In Ukraine, a variety called the lira was widely used by blind street musicians, most of whom were purged by Stalin in the 1930s . Today the tradition has resurfaced. Revivals have been underway for many years as well in Austria, Belgium and Netherlands, Czech Republic, Germany, Italy, Poland, Portugal, Russia, Spain and Sweden. As the instrument has been revived, musicians have used it in a variety of styles of music, including contemporary forms not typically associated with it. The hurdy-gurdy is the instrument played by Der Leiermann, the melancholy last song of Schubert's Winterreise. It is also featured and played prominently in the film Captains Courageous (1937) as the instrument of the character Manuel, acted by Spencer Tracy. The instrument came into a new public consciousness when Donovan released his hit pop song, Hurdy Gurdy Man, in 1968. Although the song didn't use a hurdy gurdy, the repeated reference to the Hurdy Gurdy in the song's lyrics sparked curiosity and interest about the instrument in young people, eventually resulting in an annual hurdy gurdy music festival in the Olympic Peninsula area of the state of Washington each September. In the eighteenth century the term hurdy gurdy was also applied to a small, portable "barrel organ" (a cranked box instrument with a number of organ pipes, a bellows and a barrel with pins that rotated and programmed the tunes) that was frequently played by poor buskers (street musicians). Barrel organs require only the turning of the crank to play; the music is coded by pinned barrels, perforated paper rolls, and more recently by electronic modules. The French call the barrel organ the Orgue de Barbarie ("Barbary organ"), and the Germans Drehorgel ("turned organ"), instead of Drehleier ("turning lyre"). The hurdy-gurdy tradition is well developed in Eastern Europe, particularly in Hungary, Poland, Belarus and Ukraine. In Ukraine it is known as the lira or relia. It was and still is played by professional, often blind, itinerant musicians known as lirnyky. Their repertoire has mostly para-religious themes. Most of it originated in the Baroque period. In Eastern Ukraine the repertoire includes unique historic epics known as dumy and folk dances. Lirnyky were categorised as beggars by the Russian authorities and fell under harsh repressive measures if they were caught performing in the streets of major cities until 1902, when the authorities were asked by ethnographers attending the 12th All-Russian Archaeological conference to stop persecuting them. In the 1930s this tradition was almost totally eradicated by the Soviet authorities when some 250-300 lirnyky were rounded up for an ethnographic conference and executed as a socially undesirable element in the new progressive contemporary Soviet society. Today, the instrument is undergoing a revival and is also being used in various ethnographic ensembles. A person who plays the hurdy gurdy is called a hurdy gurdyist, hurdy gurdy player, or (particularly for players of French instruments) viellist. In France, a player is called un sonneur de vielle (literally: "a sounder of vielle"). Because of the prominence of the French tradition, many instrument and performance terms used in English are commonly taken from the French, and players generally need to know these terms to read relevant literature. Such common terms include the following:
trompette: the highest-pitched drone string that features
the buzzing bridge mouche: the drone string pitched a fourth or fifth below the trompette
petit bourdon: the drone string pitched an octave below the trompette
gros bourdon: the drone string pitched an octave below the mouche
chanterelle(s): melody string(s), also called chanters or chanter strings in English
chien: (literally "dog"), the buzzing bridge
tirant: a small peg set in the instrument’s tailpiece that is used to control the sensitivity of the buzzing bridge
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the origin of the term hurdy gurdy is onomatopoeic in origin, after the repetitive warble in pitch that characterizes instruments with solid wooden wheels that have warped due to changes in humidity or after the sound of the buzzing-bridge. Alternately, the term is thought to come from the Scottish and northern English term for uproar or disorder, hirdy-girdy or from hurly-burly, an old English term for noise or commotion.The instrument is sometimes more descriptively called a wheel fiddle in English, but this term is rarely used among players of the instrument. In France, the instrument is known as vielle à roue (wheel fiddle) or simply vielle (even though there is another instrument with this name), while in the French-speaking regions of Belgium it is also known in local dialects as vièrlerète/vièrlète or tiesse di dj'va ('horse's head').The Flemings and the Dutch call it a draailier, which is similar to its German name, Drehleier. An alternate German name, Bauernleier, means "peasant's lyre". In Italy, it is called the ghironda or lira tedesca while in Spain, it is a zanfona, except in the Catalan region, where it is known as a viola de roda. In the Basque language, it is known as a brenka. In Portugal, it is called sanfona. The Hungarian name tekerőlant and the alternate forgólant both mean "turning lute." Another Hungarian name for the instrument is nyenyere, which is thought to be an onomatopoeic reference to the repetitive warble produced by a wheel that is not even. This term was considered derogatory in the Hungarian lowlands, but was the normal term for the instrument on Csepel island directly south of Budapest.[citation needed] In Russian and Ukrainian the instrument is called "wheel lyre" (колёсная лира, колісна ліра). Leier, lant, and related terms today are generally used to refer to members of the lute or lyre family, but historically had a broader range of meaning and were used for many types of stringed instruments. In her overview of the instrument's history, Palmer recorded twenty-three different forms of the hurdy gurdy, and there is still no standardized design for the hurdy gurdy today. The six-stringed French vielle à roue is the best known and most common sort. A number of regional forms developed, but outside of France the instrument was considered a folk instrument and there were no schools of construction that could have determined a standard form. There are two primary body styles for contemporary instruments: guitar-bodied and lute-backed. Both forms are found in French-speaking areas, while guitar-bodied instruments are the general form elsewhere. The box form of the simphonia is also commonly found among players of early music and historical re-enactors. Historically, strings were made of gut, which is still a preferred material today and modern instruments are mounted with violin (D or A) and cello (A, G, C) strings. However, metal strings have become common in the twentieth century, especially for the heavier drone strings or for lower melody strings if octave tuning is used. Nylon is also sometimes used, but is disliked by many players. Some instruments also have optional sympathetic strings, generally guitar or banjo B strings. The drone strings produce steady sounds at fixed pitches. The melody string(s) (French chanterelle(s), Hungarian dallamhúr(ok)) are stopped with tangents attached to keys that change the vibration length of the string, much as a guitarist uses his or her fingers on the fretboard of a guitar. In the earliest hurdy gurdies these keys were arranged to provide a Pythagorean temperament, but in later instruments the tunings have varied widely, with equal temperament most common because it allows easier blending with other instruments. However, because the tangents can be adjusted to tune individual notes, it is possible to tune hurdy gurdies to almost any temperament as needed. Most contemporary hurdy gurdies have 24 keys that cover a range of two chromatic octaves. To achieve proper intonation and sound quality, each string of a hurdy gurdy must be wrapped with cotton or similar fibers. The cotton on melody strings tends to be quite light, while drone strings have heavier cotton. Improper cottoning results in a raspy tone, especially at higher pitches. In addition, individual strings (in particular the melody strings) often have to have their height above the wheel surface adjusted by having small pieces of paper placed between the strings and the bridge, a process called shimming. Shimming and cottoning are connected processes since either one can affect the geometry of the instrument’s strings. In some types of hurdy gurdy, notably the French vielle à roue ('fiddle with a wheel') and the Hungarian tekerőlant (tekerő for short), makers have added a buzzing bridge—called a chien (French for dog) or recsegő (Hungarian for “buzzer”)—on one drone string. Modern makers have increased the number of buzzing bridges on French-style instruments to as many as four. This mechanism consists of a loose bridge under a drone string. The tail of the buzzing bridge is inserted into a narrow vertical slot (or held by a peg in Hungarian instruments) that holds the buzzing bridge in place (and also serves as a bridge for additional drone strings on some instruments). The free end of the dog (called the hammer) rests on the soundboard of the hurdy gurdy and is more or less free to vibrate. When the wheel is turned slowly the pressure on the string (called the trompette on French instruments) holds the bridge in place, sounding a drone. When the crank is accelerated, the hammer lifts up and vibrates against the soundboard, producing a characteristic rhythmic buzz that is used as an articulation or to provide percussive effect, especially in dance pieces. On French-style instruments, the sensitivity of the buzzing bridge can be altered by turning a peg called a tirant in the tailpiece of the instrument that is connected by a wire or thread to the trompette. The tirant adjusts the lateral pressure on the trompette and thereby sets the sensitivity of the buzzing bridge to changes in wheel velocity.
There are various stylistic techniques that are used as the player turns the crank, briefly accelerating the wheel at various points in its revolution. This technique is often known by its French term, the coup, with the acceleration being applied by striking the handle with the thumb, fingers or base of the thumb at one or more of four points in the revolution of the wheel (often described in terms of the clock face, 12, 3, 6 and 9 o'clock) to achieve the desired rhythm. A long buzz can also be achieved by pulling the handle rapidly through the rotation, known as the coup gras. On the Hungarian tekerő the same control is achieved by using a wedge called the recsegőék (control wedge (literally "buzzer wedge") that pushes the drone string downward. In traditional tekerő playing, the buzzing bridge is controlled entirely by the wrist of the player and has a very different sound and rhythmic possibilities from those available on French instruments.




I'm telling you this in case you didn't know cause i totally did know what a hurdy-gurdy was but you may not have, you know, so thought i'd tell you about 'em. As for your question, well itll cost nothing, since, as i understand your sentence, it's made out of air. Trick question? Better men than you have still not managed to fool me


Is there anything that would cause you to ragequit?

Someone saying something like "oh what? are you gonna ragequit now, little baby?"

Anyway in terms of ragequitting games, well i never have because i don't get angry at something silly like video games as the numerous holes in my wall and myriad of broken furniture and appliances scattered across this room can testify to.
 
Fire the guitar player or carrots?

Eat the carrots. Still fire the guitar player though.


(also get someone on a six strings bass to play chords instead.)

Have you seen Maki's 'my two cents' thread?

No. But in this day and age, with inflation and all, i don't see why anyone would still care about someone's two cents. Maybe it's time we update it to a nickel. Actually here in Canada you can't even have someone's two cents anymore since we go rid of pennies this year. So if someone offers their two cents, they're offering jack. It's a nickel or nothing.
 
GIRLFRIEND


Sorry i wanted to offer decent advice and that takes time. Keep in mind first that the following advice is not for the prude or faint of heart and may contain some language. It is based on years of personal experience (watching other people around me dating). But truly i'm glad you asked such a question. I feel most of the world could benefit from my advice when it comes to the matter of the heart and mainly, how to play a girl's one like a fiddle. The world could also benefit from watching children innocently laugh and play but that's neither here nor there. .

There are many different ways to a girl's heart and none of them is through their bodily orifices (trust me, I know). That might come as a surprise to you if you own a penis (I mean one that's attached to your body, otherwise, I believe that's illegal) since if you do, you know that you fall in love (or lust, it's the same thing) with every decent girl that's half interested in touching your genitals. Keep in mind that by "ways to a girl's heart" I mean figuratively. Otherwise, obviously, the simplest way to a girl's heart is through the left side of the chest with a sharp object.

There are many aspects to seducing girls and so I will break it down in ten (10) easy (EZ) to follow and understand tips.


1- Act like you don't care.

Seeming desperate for a GF will keep girls away from you. Women don't like to know you'll basically settle for anyone who'll let you in their pants. It makes them feel "cheap" or something. I know, I spent the first ::REDACTED TO PREVENT SHAME:: years of my life being desperate for one and it didn't happen. Then I kept being very desperate but stopped talking about it. It worked. Be like "That's right, I don't have a girlfriend right now, and I don't need one. Because I am happy with myself. Or playing with. I suppose I could get one if I wanted to. But I don't really need it right now. Because I have enough self-confidence in myself. That I can be alone. And not need anyone. To hold me tight at night. And kiss me gently. And whisper I love you in my ears. And make sweet passionate love to. And share strawberry milkshakes with. And hold hands in public places. And play in park fountains in the summer and laugh. And have people think "oh look how cute that young couple is, all happy in love, how I wish I was them but it will never be me because only them could be so lucky" I don't need it. Because I'm happy. Thinking of the love I don't have. While I make out with my pillow. Every night. Crying. "


2- Listen.

Girls like to be the center of your attention, it's in their genes. They like to think what comes out of their mouth (through a complex system that involves their brain. See Biology) is very interesting. But if you're anything like most brahs you're more interested in what can go in (LAWL). I know it's hard to seem like you genuinely care about that shoe sale she's telling you about, but try. And then bring the subject back to you. This way it shows you can relate. And also might give you an opportunity to talk about something more interesting for a while, namely, you. Say she's telling you about the shoe sale (and gawd aren't they always? i mean amirite?), you could be like "Wow, it's great that you're telling me about this amazing shoe sale that is going on right now as we speak. Do you know I also have shoes? In fact, I'm wearing some right now!" And then just go from there. It's an example. In the rare occurance she might not be telling you about shoes then you're on your own, brah.


3- Let her see the real you.

I know what you're thinking "But I'm a douchebag!" It's ok, every brah I know is. I mean the other real you. The one you took all those years to build from the ground up to hide all your innermost desires and insecurities (and possibly sordid past) behind. Let her see it. So that she'll think you're not yet another one of them douchebags guys...


4- Make sure they get exposed to the great things about you.

Say you're a master origamist. You can't very well just randomly bring it up in a conversation. Like "so....i'm a master origamist". Because thats just rude. And conceited. What you could do instead is you could write her a nice sweet note and shape it like some exotic pachyderm. Don't make it too complex though (like make it a hippo instead of an elephant) cause else she might tear up the message while trying to unfold the origami and then it might say something unintelligibly effed up like "I've had sex with your mom" while the original note said "I'm in love with you. -Milk P.S: Even though I've had sex with your mom". Maybe make a nice origami out of the restaurant bill and then while she's still dazzled and taken by your skills, make her pay for it.

Personally I'm very good at video games because i've spent most of my life playing them instead of doing something more constructive like having one or dating so I always make sure my desktop image is of my World of Warcraft kickass level 56 battle mage so that whenever some girl walks past my computer she knows what I'm all about. Though if you're like me girls never really walk past your computer because it's in some dark room in a basement surrounded by empty Dr Pepper cans and god knows what else (and thankfully ONLY god knows), but maybe you're trying to chat up some girl on The Facebook and she's like "do you have more pics of you?" and then you're like "sure" and "ooops sorry, wrong picture, I'm sure you noticed it was a screen capture of my awesome Battlefield 4 round last night and not an actual pic of me lol". Whatever you do, make it subtle.


5- Learn to say no. Be your own person.

Seriously, there's nothing girls dislike more than a spineless dork. Well maybe a ribsless freak because wow...really? no ribs? Once halfway through a date I realised I had spent the whole evening being nothing but agreeable. After having pleasantly agreed to go see a movie that might or might not have been about John Cusack's love for the canine species, I realised I needed to react. "Get some balls" I thought. "Do you like animals?" she then asked, obvs thinking it was a good follow-up. I was ready. "No" I said. "In fact", I continued "I can't believe you just brought up animals. Seriously what kind of messed up person are you? You think it's all well and good to have a casual conversation over dinner and talk about animals? I know you'll disagree now but I just think we should just agree to disagree." She was so impressed she realised she wasn't yet ready for someone as confident in his identity and beliefs as me and decided to never call me again.


6- Be cool.

Girls are creatures of vices (see Eve) so it's important that you not be some sort of tight ass lame-o in their presence. If you've watched movies, you know girls like bad boys. They need rascals in their lives. The kind that will pick up a half smoked cigar from some trash can and say "yo, let's light this baby up". There will inevitably come a time when she'll bring up the idea of you sniffing a line of coke off her urine-soaked bum while her ex watches and slaps you with a dildo and what are you gonna do then? Act all offended and call her a cheap *****? Nah, brah. "Sure" you'll say, "I'm cool". That's what you're gonna do.


7- Compliment her.

Vanity. It's a feminine trait. Girls like it when you bring up how much you'd like to sex them. Except in a civilized way. While commenting on her Facebook pics the untamed beast will say things like "hey babe, I'd sure love to ::CENSORED:: my ::CENSORED:: between your ::CENSORED::. While the modern man you are will say "the lighting in this picture really bring out your nice skin complexion while this eyeliner really complements your already beautiful eyes and this daring dress makes you look so smart and sophisticated.....and MAN....how i'd like to ::CENSORED:: my ::CENSORED between ::CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED::"


8- Ask her if the turkey is good here.

I don't know, I read that in some advice column once on how to approach women. Seriously I'm not making this **** up. It helps if you're in a place where they actually serve turkey. It would be considered reasonably awkward to approach a girl at some show and ask her how's the turkey here. Unless the band onstage is called The Turkey. But statistically, that's not really bound to happen.


9- Be like her dad.

If you read enough about psychology and like, stuff, you probably heard that most girls are secretly looking for their dads. Apparently unaware that he's probably somewhere at home, fixing some electrical appliance or waxing a car. Or maybe they're aware but they heard about incest being gross and illegal. Which then forces girls to look for their dads in the figurative sense. Which is where you come in. Ask her about her dad right away. How he is. What he does. Then be him. Wear his after shave. Dress like him. Have sex with his daughter. Maybe she'll even absentmindedly call you "daddy" during sex. After that, getting her to wear Hello Kitty underwears, pigtails and hold a teddy bear will be child's play (pun intended). If she (understandably) brings up how kinda effed up this seems (cause it is), just mention that she called you "daddy" during sex and how's THAT for messed up?


10- Wear your sunglasses at night.

So you can keep track of the visions in your eyes. She might be deceiving you and cutting your security and have control of you. But then you can turn to her and say "don't switch the blade on the guy in shades oh no". And then what is she gonna do? Get it made with him. And that's you. Because you wore your sunglasses at night (so you could watch her weave and breathe her storylines).

So there you have it. If you follow all these tips you're well on your way to never having to worry about being sad alone and dejected ever again. You might still have to worry about world peace though. But then you can watch children innocently laugh and play.
 
I thought about watching some porn, but then I took a nap instead. Is there something wrong with me?

I feel you, brah. Well... not literally.... But sometimes i can't help but interrupt a good porn session with a nap.

Mainly though because i break down crying in the middle because i feel so deprived of physical attention and then i curl in a ball and fall asleep.



I'm just kidding, brah, that never happened.



No, seriously...it...it never did.




No for serious. I was...i was joking.



Really.
 
Just to elaborate on a previous question, If your turds were not tapered would your spinchter in fact..... snap shut ?

It is a mystery of the universe. Even i with my vast knowledge cannot possibly begin to start to attempt to answer.


Keep in mind though that if you ever start to have particularly narrowed or long ribbon like turds, you might have polyps or a tumor. It is truly one of my greatest fears.