I'm sure this is an old thread but I haven't found it... Who has some good jokes about bassists? Because sometime a laugh at our own expense is still a good one!
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Best bassist jokes
- Thread starter thebass905
- Start date
An anthropologist and his assistant were researching a small tribe on a remote South Pacific island and noticed a constant drumbeat coming from a distant mountain. They asked the tribal chief if the constant drumming bothered them.
"Drum beat, good", said the chief. "Drum stops, bad".
"Why? What happens?" asked the anthropoligist.
"Bass solo", the chief replied.
"Drum beat, good", said the chief. "Drum stops, bad".
"Why? What happens?" asked the anthropoligist.
"Bass solo", the chief replied.
Three Bassists are walking through the woods, and they come across a set of tracks.
The first bassist says "Those are Deer tracks"
The second bassist says "No...those are Bear tracks"
The third bassist says "You're both wrong...I know my tracks, and those are Moose tracks"
...then the train hit them.
The first bassist says "Those are Deer tracks"
The second bassist says "No...those are Bear tracks"
The third bassist says "You're both wrong...I know my tracks, and those are Moose tracks"
...then the train hit them.
These have been done before, but I'll put in.
How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None...the keyboard player does it with his left hand.
How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None...the keyboard player does it with his left hand.
Another oldie:
What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?
Homeless.
What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?
Homeless.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1...4...5...1...4...5
1...4...5...1...4...5
how many metal bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
5. 1 to change it and 4 to stop the guitarist hogging all the light.
5. 1 to change it and 4 to stop the guitarist hogging all the light.
How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, a bassist will try and reuse the same lightbulb, but first he will try boiling it to get some more brightness out of it.
(for the youngsters, this refers to the practice of boiling dead strings. something a lot of us old timers would do when we couldn't afford new strings. It actually worked to a point.)
Trick question, a bassist will try and reuse the same lightbulb, but first he will try boiling it to get some more brightness out of it.
(for the youngsters, this refers to the practice of boiling dead strings. something a lot of us old timers would do when we couldn't afford new strings. It actually worked to a point.)
A bassist walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind around here."
Bassist replies, "That was mighty low."
Bassist replies, "That was mighty low."
How many country-western bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1 - 5 - 1 - 5 - 1 - 5
1 - 5 - 1 - 5 - 1 - 5
Win, because you can't very well use it as a drummer/guitarist/______ joke.
On topic/semi-bass specific: Did you hear about the bass player who was so depressed over his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train?
Edit: Also elgecko's above.
