Best Musician Jokes

[marcustaylor]

Anyone got some cracking musician jokes?

My all time favourite: what do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a drummer? A tattoo

Here's an infographic loaded with drummer jokes for anyone who wants a giggle: Drummer Jokes Infographic – The Best, Worst, and the Comebacks! | The Musician's Guide

 

[ksandvik]

I would like to see more keyboard and guitar-centric jokes as a majority has to do with drummers and some bass player ones and it's getting somewhat stale to hear those over and over again.

 

[echoSE7EN]

I would like to see more keyboard and guitar-centric jokes as a majority has to do with drummers and some bass player ones and it's getting somewhat stale to hear those over and over again.

Q: How do you get a self-proclaimed guitar god off your porch?


A: Pay for the pizza.

 

[BassinCT]

Put sheet music in front of him.

 

[ksandvik]

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. The keyboard player does it with his left hand.


And yes, I started as a keyboard player long time ago.

 

[cr250_977]

How do you know if the lead singer is at your door??
They don't know when to come in !

 

[Rush-2112]

oh! oh! I'll play

Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

 

[BassinCT]

How do you know if the lead singer is at your door??
They don't know when to come in !

...and they can't find the key.

 

[de place]

How many guitar players do you need to change a lightbulb?
10 , one for the changing and 9 saying " nice solo ,but I've done better"

How many country musicians do you need to change a lightbulb?
10 , one for the changing and 9 singing about how good ye ol one was.

Whats the difference between a banjo and a trampoline ?
You do take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline

 

[doktorfeelgood]

What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

Homeless....

 

[Kirk Bryant]

Whats the difference between an Accordian and an Onion.........no one crys when you cut an Accordian. Batta ching!

 

[foq1978]

- How many guitar players change a light bulb?
- One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.

 

[Tampabass]

What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play bagpipes ... but doesn't.

 

[Tampabass]

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.