Betrayal

[JimiLL]

Ok so in the interest of not making an obnoxiously long and unreadable post, I’m going to give a quick back story to bring you upto speed.

A year and a half ago I got involved with an original arena rock band. I quickly became friends with The guitarist, who is in his late 60s (30 years my elder) and very well traveled musically. Since we were having a heck of a time finding a good singer, we had to go with a singer from a previous lineup that was known for causing trouble and splitting the band up. First he began trying to remove the guitarist for no good reasons, and I stuck up for guitar player and walked back some of the other members.

Shortly after, the attention was put on me. The singer claimed I’m playing wasn’t up to par, which it was, and when that didn’t work it changed to me not being committed enough when he discovered I wasn’t going to jump when he said so.

And he got the guitarist to follow suit. When I realized what was going on I bailed ship. Needless to say, shortly after I was gone, singer got a hard on for the guitarist again. There was a major disruption at a practice, the singer rage quit and put 8 stitches in the bass players head.

Now the drummer who I was always cool with is hinting I should come back. He says the guitarist is beside himself with how stupid he was.

So I’m conflicted. I had a lot of fun with these guys, they have great gear and connections and the guitarist taught me a lot in the time we were together. At the same time it feels like getting back together with someone that cheated on you. Can it ever be the same? Or am I being too trivial?

 

[ArtechnikA]

If the disruptive singer's really gone, and you have a replacement lined up, take a collective deep breath and move forward with new wisdom gained from a shared bad experience.
And if it doesn't work out better this time, you can always still just walk again, for good.

 

[Parzival]

Ok so in the interest of not making an obnoxiously long and unreadable post, I’m going to give a quick back story to bring you upto speed.

A year and a half ago I got involved with an original arena rock band. I quickly became friends with The guitarist, who is in his late 60s (30 years my elder) and very well traveled musically. Since we were having a heck of a time finding a good singer, we had to go with a singer from a previous lineup that was known for causing trouble and splitting the band up. First he began trying to remove the guitarist for no good reasons, and I stuck up for guitar player and walked back some of the other members.

Shortly after, the attention was put on me. The singer claimed I’m playing wasn’t up to par, which it was, and when that didn’t work it changed to me not being committed enough when he discovered I wasn’t going to jump when he said so.

And he got the guitarist to follow suit. When I realized what was going on I bailed ship. Needless to say, shortly after I was gone, singer got a hard on for the guitarist again. There was a major disruption at a practice, the singer rage quit and put 8 stitches in the bass players head.

Now the drummer who I was always cool with is hinting I should come back. He says the guitarist is beside himself with how stupid he was.

So I’m conflicted. I had a lot of fun with these guys, they have great gear and connections and the guitarist taught me a lot in the time we were together. At the same time it feels like getting back together with someone that cheated on you. Can it ever be the same? Or am I being too trivial?

Id give them another shot, but would let it be known from the jump, if there is even talk of bringing that singer back, you’re gone.

 

[Deleted member 394181]

So much like marriage right.? It will never be quite the same. Go for it since its such a good gig though. I would be cool, but dont get too personal or attached. Sounds like you wont. I had to quit a good band once. BL blamed me. I went back. Everything seemed fine. Out of the Blue got fired. Dont know why. I think they wanted new drummers freind instead of me. I dont hear anything about them now. I used to get us good gigs, promotion, etc..

 

[Killing Floor]

This is perhaps more complicated than firing the drummer.

Definitely don’t entertain that singer. But if you do, remember when you throw a punch don’t ball your thumb like John Wayne did. Used to drive my old man crazy, dude was in a bajillion fight scenes and never threw a believable punch.

Hope the other bassist is Ok. Good luck.

 

[sean_on_bass]

Follow your gut. The fact that you are questioning it tells me it might not be the best move.

 

[portpc]

What are your musical goals? Do they align with the other band members? Is this a fight club or a band?

If I were in that situation I'd ask myself would I be happy working with them again & if so, have a sit-down w/ the guitarist and if he seems contrite and reasonable give it a trial period.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

This is a tough one. It's not very cut-and-dried.

I think I would probably pass on the idea, but let it be known that if, down the road, y'all run into each other "independently", you're not slamming a door.

That or just tell them you'll only entertain the idea if you have 100% control over member ship (and the guitar player having some skin/money in the game would show me something).

 

[bassicmike]

So if I've got this right...singer wanted you out, and recruited guitarist in the campaign. And the guitarist is still in the band.

Thanks, but no thanks.

 

[ChrisB2]

So if I've got this right...singer wanted you out, and recruited guitarist in the campaign. And the guitarist is still in the band.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Same here.

 

[bolophonic]

I have a pretty low tolerance for that type of band drama.

 

[BassBrass]

Guitarist owes you a gift (kidding on the marriage riff). It's like in court after a guilty verdict, the amount of Remorse Shown is relevant to sentencing.
Basically, is the guitarist Redeemable? He might not have had experience with such Damaged people and he made a mistake trying to get along. Also is he a genuis musician you want to play with?

 

[CaribooBass]

“Enuff Said !”

 

[Hasty]

I've been in a situation relatively similar, but without the physical violence. In my situation it was not me that was fired, but two others in a very unfair manner. I didn't agree with it and I gracefully exited the "restructuring" activity. A year later they asked me to come back. Initially I said no, but I enjoyed the music so much that I agreed to do so on a contingent basis. A few months later the band dissolved.

When I went back, the music was still fun... but the whole vibe was different and not as comfortable as it was in the past.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

“Enuff Said !”

I LOVE Sarah's voice!

 

[pepj]

Short leash on this second time round...but 2 things, imv.
Singer with way too many issues is nowhere near the band in any shape or form. Not negotiable.
Then I'd watch gtr dude closely but the above is only being entertained if its a great gig that you can't do without.

P.S if the gtr is just a harmless bumbling idiot type who was weak, then ok, but if he is manipulating and devious then pass.

 

[Topkat13]

I didn’t read your post but I promise it’s going to be ok.

 

[john_g]

I wouldnt go back. If the singer was still there the guitarist would still be against you. Everyone can make a mistake and this isnt life or death but, it took the singer leaving for his change of heart?

 

[WG Plum]

8 stitches in the other bass player's head? I realize the singer is gone, but I'd not put myself in a situation with anyone that was part those kinds of shenanigans. Hard pass.

 

[Rabidhamster]

You never quit when someone you hire tries to force you out. You force them out instead.
But lack of the other members loyalty and the fact you were so hard up for a singer you hired someone you knew would be a ripe **** makes me wonder who would sing for that band lineup now? I don’t think there’s any point to taking them back now is there?

8 stitches is a lot of stitches. Hope he’s in prison and had a lot of money in the bank to cover the lawsuits.