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booze, women, and drummers

Joe Nerve

Joe Nerve

Oct 7, 2000
18,619
38,939
New York City
www.joenerve.com
Disclosures
Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
#1
i'm gonna trash one of my own boys here a little simply because i feel like writing. i love these guys to death - i really do. feel blessed to have what i feel is a really tight supportive family..... but....

keep in mind we're all adults. over age 30. last night drummer santo's very flirtatious girlfriend invites an ex-boyfriend and his friends to come to our show. now that's the most brilliant idea i've heard in a long time. since high school. all's well till she starts getting drunk. we're playing, they're playing, nothing too serious but a lot of touching, hugging, stupid stuff. santo and girlfriend begin going at it. going at it when drunk never solves anything, so it of course escalates. she's being totally unreasonable. she decides to leave right smack in the middle of a cover of venus. he jumps off the friggin stage and chases her out the door. "Any drumers in the house?" luckily, the bar owner himself was a closet drummer and wanted to know if we could pull off honky tonk women. we could, and we did. santo's girl disappeared with the guys..... santo gets very, very, drunk, pretty much the end of the story. we managed to squeeze another 4 or 5 songs out of him. it was the last set anyhow.

on a softer, more gentler and nicer note - we've been doing really well in smaller "crappy" bars (as someone in another thread titled them) by being honest with and really working with the owners. the owner of this place and another we recently started playing LOVES us and they're both doing everything they can to spread the word and pack these places when we play. the main thing we did differently was decide to accept less money - we're taking $90 a man, which comes out to $270 for the band. they can't get a another decent band at that price. the bars are happy and they promise to give us more as they take in more. i believe them. the bar we played last night is about an hour's drive from where i live and we met a bunch of people from my neighborhood because the owner told them they really have to come down and check out this band. makes it easy to want to work with him. what's my point? i think it's that i'm learning it's a good thing to be flexible and friendly with the barowners and NOT treat them like the enemy. if they're jerks it's usually written all over their faces, and we don't play their bars. we're finding a lot of nice people - finally. perhaps we can chalk it up to experience.
 
#3
Joe Nerve said:
what's my point? i think it's that i'm learning it's a good thing to be flexible and friendly with the barowners and NOT treat them like the enemy. if they're jerks it's usually written all over their faces, and we don't play their bars. we're finding a lot of nice people - finally. perhaps we can chalk it up to experience.
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Y'know the best gig we have is when we work out a fee agreement with the Bar Owner. Whenever we've played for "the door" despite the draw, it's never as good as a fixed fee, in our case anyway.

Before the show, I always say hello and thank the Owner after the show, and tell them I appreciate it. At one place we play, I even buy the guy's logo-wear (a hoodie & a tee). Because I've made some decent money off the guy in the last year. The objective is to hold an audience, and get invited back by the Owner.

As far as the drummer: I always tell my drummer and the band, if the drummer goes "off", don't look at me 'cause I can't help you. My drummer has a problem with "bottle fatigue" as well.
 
#4
P. Aaron said:
My drummer has a problem with "bottle fatigue" as well.
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I had a drummer like that. Every three or four songs he would hold up his empty bottle from behind the kit and hit it with his sticks.......that was his signal to his wife to get him another, and she would.

By the end of the night he was so polluted, that when she'd ask him how many drinks he had, he would reply "One..........right after another."
 
#6
Microbass said:
while i know some people can handle it, I point blank refuse to let anyone in the band to have anymore than a sinlge bottle, or a pint.

nothing more than 5.5% vol.

mind you, i am the only drinker in the band, so there you go. :p
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No offense, but I refuse to be in a band with anyone who thinks they are babysitter. It's everyones job to remain adult, and professional, not one guys to tell everyone else.
 
#9
Tim Cole said:
No offense, but I refuse to be in a band with anyone who thinks they are babysitter. It's everyones job to remain adult, and professional, not one guys to tell everyone else.
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Tim, I think you missed the humor in his post. Read the whole thing. ;)

In my most recent band, the drummer had some tempo and rhythmic issues when he was sober, let alone after a couple beers; then the warping of time and space really came in. And alcohol intake seemed to make the rhythm guitar player believe that he alone was the one that everyone comes to see and hear.

I like to have a beer sometimes when I play, but I also balance that with a strong desire to not be laughed at. ;)
 
#10
Joe Nerve said:
...all's well till she starts getting drunk. we're playing, they're playing, nothing too serious but a lot of touching, hugging, stupid stuff. santo and girlfriend begin going at it. going at it when drunk never solves anything, so it of course escalates. she's being totally unreasonable. she decides to leave right smack in the middle of a cover of venus. he jumps off the friggin stage and chases her out the door...
Click to expand...

Okay, this point in the story made my blood get a little warmer. While Santo's reaction was definitely off the chart, there's no definite way he could have thought anything other than she was walking out that door to go home and mambo with ex-boyfriend-guy. That sucked not only for you guys as a band, but for Santo as a human being.

#1, No arguing with S.O. when drunk, especially when you're playing a gig.

#2, though, S.O. shouldn't be quite so flirtatious with an ex in front of the current partner, even if it's genuinely harmless (rarely is from the guy's POV, though - I know this, I'm a guy)... But that just implies no respect for the current partner, I think.

All just MHO, of course, and I'm glad the band pulled it out somehow.
 
#11
Hey Joe! I don't know if you heard but the very next bar I talked to we got a gig. If any of you are wondering I'm the one who was responsible for the crappy bar post. Looking back I was a little frustrated, Joe and the guys kept my chin up and made me look at things a little differently and I landed a gig very next bar I talked to. That sucks about your drummer and his girl drama. That never happened to me but I can immagine how embarassed you were, at least I would be. Look on the bright side the owner wants you guys back and prolly was a little happy to play a couple tunes with you guys. Your def right about the attitude thing and about dealing with bar owners, if they are jerks you don't have to play there and move on. You illistarted this fact by turning a negative situation into a good one because of your rappor with that bar owner.
 
#12
true. it all went rather well i think cuz we didn't get uptight about it. had randy and i made a big deal of it, it probably would have been bad news - we laughed about it, santo is back with his girl (of course - and ready for the next drunken dabacle) - and all is well. we played Continental in the city tonight and had a great gig.... i feel good, we really are a happy family, even with a drunk in the band. i've been in probably close to 50 bands in my life and never one that felt quite like The Nerve! i must state once more that i'm incredibly grateful of that too. i think it came from the willingness (and sometimes stupidity) to really stick it out with these guys through the roughest of times.

i'm glad you're getting some gigs in "crappy" bars. :) i kinda like the crappy bars. they've been really cool with us, the big rooms seem really cold. the only way you get into the bigrooms around here is through agencies also, and then you have to kiss up to and answer to them. i kind of like it the way things are now. i'm open to whatever the future brings though.


 
#13
Joe Nerve said:
true.

i'm glad you're getting some gigs in "crappy" bars. :) i kinda like the crappy bars. they've been really cool with us, the big rooms seem really cold.

Yeah I know what you mean. And thing is it seems at these smaller venues the muscians are better. Less gimicky, people that just want to play because they love it. I've talked to a lot of bands at these smaller "crappy" venues and these guy are serious players, been in band for 15-20 years, toured done it all and won't play in these big rooms for anything! That tellls you something, how many of these big rooms have open jams, or blues nights and support the local music scene...not very many because it's not profitable.
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#15
P. Aaron said:
Our drummer just has to show up. And according to him, no matter how many beers and shots he's had: He did great! Yeah he's playing well, but: He's playing the wrong damn song!
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Hey P...we live in Detroit. There's 10,000 drummers here. You don't have to put up with that crap! There are so many drummers that's why I play bass now, looking back best thing I did. There is nothing I hate more than watching a sauced up band or band member, a little buzz is cool, but sloppy no way!
I've seen guitarists fall down and have to get helped up to play, bassists so hammered having to play sitting down, and an idiot lead singer that like to do cymbal crashes with his microphone untill he broke the dudes Zildjian A custom crash. That same singer loved to spray his entire band with beer while proforming. I mean if a guy has a bad night,maybe some personal stuff going on and gets drunk that's one thing, but to be consistantly wasted and sloppy is bad and makes you look bad. I know a ton of drummers P!
 
#16
Joe Nerve said:
what's my point? i think it's that i'm learning it's a good thing to be flexible and friendly with the barowners and NOT treat them like the enemy. if they're jerks it's usually written all over their faces, and we don't play their bars. we're finding a lot of nice people - finally. perhaps we can chalk it up to experience.
Click to expand...

Great words of wisdom here! Substitute "barowner" with "soundguy" and it's even wiser again.
 
#18
Mike N said:
I had a drummer like that. Every three or four songs he would hold up his empty bottle from behind the kit and hit it with his sticks.......that was his signal to his wife to get him another, and she would.

By the end of the night he was so polluted, that when she'd ask him how many drinks he had, he would reply "One..........right after another."
Click to expand...


onstage is a better high than beer or any drug.I go for it straight! :bassist:
 
#19
hey joe, my girlfriend doesn't come to my gigs anymore, because she is a sauce bandit and gets a bit messy Its not a great idea girlfriends comming to the gigs, you need your space as a player to communicate with the audience, and if you happen to be looking at a chick innocently and the boss is watching well its days of our lives. I dont like it if my girl is dancing in the crowd and the hyhenas come sniffing around for some action, your on stage, you cant do anything, so frustration begins then you lose concertration cause your too busy looking at the jock trying to hump your mrs leg, so its not a good idea girlfriends hanging around at gigs.
 

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